I left the Glass City on Saturday afternoon, headed for the Cincinnati Gardens and the first Cincinnati Rollergirls (CRG) home bout of the 2012 season. Owen was riding shotgun, and we had decided to stay until Sunday, so we planned accordingly. In addition to watching some roller derby and hanging out with some of the skaters, I had a further goal. I was determined to overcome my recent recap writing malaise and to make enjoying myself the first priority during the bouts. If you read my previous post, you know that my recent attempts to raise the detail level of my recaps were a resounding failure. I enjoyed my time at the bouts less, because I was too worried about getting every detail as I watched the action. I noticed that I was missing out on the "big picture" of the bout action, and the data overload left me unable to write a coherent recap.
So, my plan for the evening was to take notes only when I had something major to observe: a big momentum swing, a strategy that succeeded or failed, or a particularly noteworthy act by a skater or team. I knew that my recap would be shorter and less detailed, but I felt it was best to get back to my successful approach of earlier seasons. I had to remind myself that writing this blog is not a job. It should reflect the joy of watching great roller derby, not the drudgery of accounting on wheels.
We arrived at the Gardens a bit after 5pm, ready to partake in some tailgating. We had stopped at a gas station to pick up a couple of tall cans of Bud Select for Owen. I was sticking to the hard stuff, Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. Unfortunately, there wasn't much of anything going on in the parking lot, despite the beautiful weather. We stood outside, stretched, and chatted a bit, before I decided to go inside and get his ticket from Will Call. (Thanks, Miss Print!) On my way to Will Call, I encountered The Librarian at the Girl Scout Cookies table. (Every sportswriter should have that sentence saved as autotext.) We had a great chat and got to catch up a little, as we hadn't seen each other in nine months or so. When I stopped and glanced around, I saw that the lines to get into the seating area stretched the entire length of the concourse, so I hurried to get the ticket. It was almost 6pm, so I ducked outside to find Owen finishing his beer, and we made our way inside.
Upon clearing the turnstile, I made a beeline for my favorite spot, the front row of floor seats at turn three. Owen started in on the terrible, cheap beers while I relaxed and took in the sights. A quick hello with Miss Print and perusal of the bout program helped the time fly by, and the intros for the first bout were upon us. The abject crappiness of the sound system ensured that we had no idea what was happening, but we managed to get the gist and stood for a solid rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner.
DISCLAIMER: I am just a fan. I make no guarantee as to the accuracy of any facts contained in the recaps. I do watch the action closely, but the primary objective of this blog is to give my overall impressions of my experiences. Now, on to the recaps!
FIRST BOUT: CRG Violent Lambs (B-Team) vs. Arch Rival Roller Girls (ARRG) St. Lunachix (B-Team)
The first bout of the evening started with an impressive display by CRG, For the first three or four jams, the Lambs did everything right. Their pack won the initial battles to spring jammers for lead status. With the CRG jammer in the lead, the pack played offense, giving some beautiful assists and keeping Arch Rival from establishing walls. The Lambs' jammers were heady, picking up points and calling jams at just the right time, and CRG opened up a 14-1 advantage in the first few minutes. ARRG then decided to switch tactics, and the rugby derby scrums took center stage. For almost as long as slow pack starts have existed, CRG have struggled with them, especially early in bouts. This night was no different, as ARRG began to take control, winning lead on almost every jam. Once the jammers were out of the pack on the initial pass, the defensive pack play tightened, and St. Louis rarely racked up big points. The steady stream of jam wins for ARRG continued, however, and the Lambs' packs looked a bit shaken. They seemed to go into a shell and played to not get blown out, trying to clamp down on defense and forgetting for minutes at a time to assist their own jammers. By the 8 1/2 minute mark in the half, ARRG had scored 28 unanswered points to take a 29-14 lead.
CRG finally got a power jam, but jammer Imma Tattooher had been battered for well over a minute prior to the ARRG penalty, and she couldn't take advantage. (I later found out she was injured.) Hot Slice got a chance to go solo, but she picked up only a single grand slam. This was mainly due to some nifty work by the Arch Rival pack, which sped away and killed the penalty beautifully. Near the end of the half, Polly Rocket took the star for CRG, hoping to cut the deficit a bit going into the break. ARRG's Oregon Betrayal, however, laid a pulverizing hit on her, moving quickly and decisively from the inside to the outside line to flatten the CRG jammer. Showing great toughness, Polly got back up and fought her way to four hard-earned CRG points. Just before halftime, Arch Rival's jammer Beaster Bunny took the momentum back on a dazzling jam, showing off a hellacious juke that left CRG's Railroad missing an attempted takeout by at least four feet. ARRG went into the locker room with a 47-25 advantage.
The first 12 minutes of the second half were more of the same. The teams traded points, both packs doing a solid job on defense. The going was tough for jammers on both sides, with hard hits raining down and limited offensive pack play. One CRG highlight was a jam in which Bombtrack used some nice moves to take lead jammer status. It looked like the ARRG jammer was going to trail her by only a few feet coming out of the pack, with only Cherry Choke to beat at the front. That's when Cherry entered full-on Kinney mode, weaving and sliding effortlessly, seeming to anticipate her quarry's every move. Cherry must have held that one-on-one block for 10-15 seconds until other CRG blockers came to help, and Bombtrack made a nice scoring pass for the grand slam. CRG had closed the gap to 69-48 with 6 1/2 minutes to go.
The Lambs could not hold the momentum, however. Sista Shovechild was sent off on a jammer penalty, and the ensuing ARRG power jam both extended the lead (to 81-48) and bled precious time from the game clock. With roughly three minutes remaining, Cherry Choke wore the star for CRG. This time, Bombtrack returned the favor. Even though Cherry did not get lead, pivot Bombtrack led a sharp CRG pack, which shut down the ARRG jammer. Cherry proceeded to put up a 15-0 jam, leaving 20 seconds on the clock for one last push. Amazingly, the Lunachix jammer was sent off on a major, leaving Hot Slice all by herself and able to let the jam run the full two minutes. As the partisan crowd grew exponentially louder, Hot Slice started to add points. The ARRG pack, however, hung tough, knocking her around just enough to keep her from making up the entire deficit. When the final whistle blew, Slice's 15-0 jam left ARRG with a slim 84-78 victory. Over the last five minutes or so, it was obvious that ARRG were struggling and the Lambs were gaining the edge. Had this been a 60-minute game, I'm almost certain the outcome would have swung the other way.
Hot Slice and Sista Shovechild were the most-utilized jammers for CRG. They both had their moments, but I found it pretty difficult to judge the jammers in this bout. I couldn't tell whether the main jammers were having an off game or the packs' lack of offensive awareness was more of an external constraint. Nonetheless, I was impressed by the way Slice and Shovechild battled through some very tough packs. The lack of space to maneuver meant that the nice jukes and cuts I had seen from both of them the week before were few and far between. With the slow, dense packs, jammers were forced to be patient and employ more of the "wrecking-ball" approach to get through. I thought Shovechild made the transition to this style a bit more quickly. Unfortunately, this type of jamming also makes a skater more penalty-prone, and it led to a momentum-killing trip to the box for her in the second half.
Cherry Choke and Bombtrack also took multiple turns with the star for Cincinnati. Both of them were used as double-threats, also spending quite a few jams wearing the pivot stripe. From where I sat, they were the two most effective CRG players on the track. Other than that, however, my two co-MVP's for the bout had little in common in their performances. Cherry Choke is all about consistency. She's not as explosive as many of her teammates, but she rarely makes mistakes. Cherry moves very fluidly and efficiently, and she always seems to be thinking one step ahead of the opponent, no matter her role on the track. Playing the role of Maverick to Cherry's Iceman was Bombtrack. Bombtrack has exceptional speed and explosiveness, especially coming out of cuts. She's more willing to take a chance and occasionally pays for it by ending up out of position. As a blocker, Bombtrack is not as adept at one-on-one blocking as is Cherry, but she does a very nice job controlling pack speed and setting up her pack as a pivot. Imma Tattooher had a few mostly uneventful jams before leaving with an injury, and Polly Rocket and Pistolwhippin Wendy made cameo appearances at the jammer line.
Unfortunately, it was not a good night for many of CRG's blockers. The Violent Lambs packs were very good for the first few minutes and last few minutes of the bout. In between, however they were consistently outplayed. I was disappointed to see it, because the pack play regressed severely from the outstanding effort I saw in Grand Rapids last month. I had expected that another month for the skaters to come together would lead to great things. Certainly, ARRG presents a tougher challenge than Grand Raggidy did, but a number of CRG's skaters looked unprepared for the strategies used and a step slow in getting to blocks. In fact, I saw more blockers whiff on attempted hits in this bout than I can recall seeing in any previous tilt. As mentioned above, Cherry and Bombtrack were solid in the blocking game. Newcomer Sauci, while inconsistent, landed many of the biggest hits of the evening for the Lambs. Sista Shovechild, Pistolwhippin Wendy, and Roxx Solid had decent showings as blockers, but they could not fill enough of the holes to truly solidify the CRG packs.
On the Arch Rival side, I was impressed by the jamming tandem of Beaster Bunny and Rhino-Might. Beaster Bunny was the single best skater on the track for this bout. While she doesn't have blazing speed, she is very quick and nimble. Combined with solid power and good balance, these traits make her a very complete player. Rhino-Might is very big for a jammer, but she definitely has the speed and instincts to handle the role. Both of these jammers had tough going in a very defensive game, but they did enough in the middle portion to build a lead big enough to withstand CRG's late onslaught. On the blocking side, I saw Oregon Betrayal and Boom Boom Pow doing some good work.
SECOND BOUT: CRG Black Sheep (#8 in the NC Region) vs. ARRG All-Stars (#6 NC)
The A-Team bout promised to be a competitive one, as these two teams have played often over the past few years, with each squad tasting some success. Right from the first whistle, however, ARRG took control. For the first nine minutes of the bout, it was "Groundhog Day" for CRG and their fans. ARRG's pack lined up on a knee directly in front of the jammer line. A horrible, boring rugby scrum ensued. A wall of CRG blockers held the Arch Rival jammer at the front, while a wall of ARRG blockers held the CRG jammer at the back. As soon as no pack was called, the ARRG jammer got lead status by virtue of being farther ahead. ARRG sprinted forward immediately to re-establish the pack, leaving CRG's jammer stuck on her initial pass. Lather, rinse, repeat, and it was Arch Rival scoring the first 46 points of the bout over the opening nine minutes. By virtue of their bench being immediately next to the jammer line, ARRG were able to establish position immediately, before the Cincy pack could get there. Those nine minutes absolutely deflated the large opening-night crowd at the Gardens.
By the time Wheezy broke through, took lead status, and posted a 3-0 jam for CRG's first points, 14 minutes had passed. At that point, I'm not sure whether ARRG stopped going for the back line or CRG found a way to counter the strategy. The teams basically switched positions for most of the scrum starts midway through the half. The Black Sheep began chipping away at the lead, bringing the score to 51-17. Then, Candy KICKass did an excellent job frustrating the ARRG jammer into a major back block. Wheezy took advantage of the power jam to the tune of 10 more points. Arch Rival stabilized, then took advantage of a jammer penalty on K Lethal to grab a 13-0 power jam and re-take command. With the game in danger of slipping away, an outstanding CRG pack (Karma Krash, Buckhead Betty, Sk8r-Kinney, and Jungle Lacy) continually recycled the St. Louis jammer, allowing Wheezy to pick up a nice 12-2 jam. The halftime score was 85-52 Arch Rival, but CRG had weathered the rough start and kept the game within striking distance.
Early in the second half, the stalwart front of the CRG pack again forced an ARRG jammer into a trip to the box, this time on a track cut. K Lethal followed that 10-0 power jam with a great, lightning-fast 8-0 a few minutes later, and the deficit was cut to 20 (96-76), with 20 minutes remaining. This was the smallest margin since the early minutes of the game, but unfortunately, it would also prove to be the smallest margin for the rest of the bout. The teams traded blows over the next 10 minutes, with Arch Rival adding slightly to the lead. With the score at 117-88 and the bout once again in danger of becoming a rout, K Lethal was sent to the penalty box with the star again. The 15-0 ARRG power jam put the ladies from the Gateway to the West on the verge of securing the victory. Just minutes later, K took the jammer panty back to the sin bin on a track cut. Despite a phenomenal jammer takeout by Nuk'em, Arch Rival was able to push the score to 150-93. While CRG put together a few good jams in the waning minutes, the game was out of reach. Arch Rival polished off a 158-118 victory.
Looking at the CRG jammers, the best was clearly K Lethal. She showed off some dazzling speed, at times playing on a whole different level from the rest of the skaters. While I did not keep scoring stats, I'd imagine she was CRG's leading scorer. The worst CRG jammer was most certainly...K Lethal. Time after time, she broke her team's momentum by yielding power jams to ARRG. K is so immensely talented. I always wonder if her excessive jammer penalties (consistently more than any other CRG jammer) are a natural and unavoidable consequence of her aggressiveness and explosiveness. If there were some way she could play more under control without losing that fire, K Lethal could be a superstar in the truest sense of the word.
Wheezy rebounded from an uneven performance in Grand Rapids to have a quietly effective day. She seemed to have that higher gear back, but more importantly, she skated with purpose and decisiveness. Hannah Barbaric (nee Ouchocinco, nee Barbaric) had a tough time getting it going with the jammer star. Her opportunities seemed to decrease as the bout went on, but she did make good contributions as a blocker. Candy KICKass and Nuk'em took a few jams each, with decent results, but both made a far bigger impact as blockers.
I don't think I'm allowed to name every single front-of-the-pack CRG blocker my MVP, but I'd like to. Without some outstanding efforts, both one-on-one and as front walls, this bout would have been over by halftime. Sk8r-Kinney was amazing as always, and Karma Krash had her best performance in quite a while. Buckhead Betty continued her run of strong play and big hits. Candy KICKass did a nice job controlling the pack and managed to harass some ARRG jammers into penalties. The great individual efforts were not limited to the front of the pack. Nuk'em used to have my "talented but out of control" label, but she has done some excellent work over the last year or so. Now, she still delivers crushing hits, but you don't see her whiffing on a block and ending up out of the play. She has added smarts to her physical skill, and for that, I'm naming her the MVP of this bout. Jungle Lacy did a wonderful job, proving that she doesn't need a big body to have a big impact on the bout. While it's clear that the Black Sheep miss outstanding blockers Trauma and Sk8 Crime, the strong nucleus that remains bodes well for the future.
On the Arch Rival side, it's tough to miss the dynamic jamming duo of Mighty Mighty Boston and Downtown Dallis. While they both had to slog through some tough CRG packs, all it took was a small opening to make a big-time play. Mighty Mighty Boston is less flashy, but no less effective. I would watch her take the line and think CRG had the advantage, only to look up and see her making every right move. Downtown Dallis looks like a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, but she skates with great speed and otherworldly quickness in and out of her cuts. After watching her at 2011 Regionals, I was sold on her as a top-level talent, and nothing here convinced me otherwise. In terms of blockers, I didn't isolate many specific skaters, but the team did an excellent job executing their scrum strategy. Oregon Betrayal and Mayor Francis Slayer were two I noticed when it came to hard hitting.
OVERALL IMPRESSIONS - SATURDAY:
CRG had a large crowd (reported as 3,500), which always makes the experience at the Gardens quite a bit better. The floor seats were 80-90% full, as were the middle sections of the lower part of the stands. I even saw a few people moving up to the upper seats. The fans had their moments, especially near the end of each game, as CRG mounted comeback attempts. Overall, however, it was a pretty tame bunch. I miss the lusty booing when the opponents are introduced or a call goes against the home team. Also, for a crowd that size on a nice day, tailgating was very minimal. The largest and most excited group I saw in the parking lot was a cluster of fans from St. Louis. I hope the Cincy folks can do better than that as the season heats up.
The following entry is from Dictionary.com :
score·board
[skawr-bawrd, skohr-bohrd]
noun
a large, usually rectangular board in a ballpark, sports arena, or the like, that shows the score of a contest and often other relevant facts and figures, as the count of balls and strikes on a baseball batter.
The Cincinnati Gardens features a beautiful new scoreboard, situated high over the center of the track, with faces in four directions. Faithful readers know that I have complained about the scoreboard situation at CRG bouts before, so I was very excited about this development. Once again, I would be able to sit in my favorite seats and be able to see the score and game clock. Except that I wasn't. The scoreboard was used for ads and announcements, as well as an occasional "lead jammer" graphic. Looking at the above definition, does anyone else see something missing here? I have not seen any other sports team with access to a decent scoreboard that doesn't, you know, POST THE SCORE ON IT. This was maddening. Once again, the fans sitting in turns 3 and 4 had no good way to keep track of the state of the game. It's not like we could hear the PA clearly to fill in the gaps, either. Since it's generally frowned upon for fans to interact with skaters via touch, smell, or taste during the action, the whole thing was literally senseless. I'm not saying CRG shouldn't use the board for announcements and ads. Every team does that. During the action, however, the scoreboard has one overwhelming purpose: providing accurate information about the game.
Between bouts, CRG put on a scrimmage by its new Junior Derby team. I really enjoyed this and was impressed by the skill level of some of the girls. I hope that this becomes an ongoing feature of CRG home bouts. The main drawback was time. I'm not sure who sets up the timetable for the evening's events, but it wasn't horribly realistic. The schedule listed in the bout program showed ten minutes for the 15-minute Junior Derby scrimmage, for example. Barring some immense gravitational pull centered in Cincinnati, I was not betting on it. Of course, I will mention my standing complaint about the 40-minute Lambs bouts. As much as I like the Juniors, I'd rather see the hard-working B-Teamers get the time on the track, if only one can happen. I think it's a disgrace that CRG is the only league I've watched in years that doesn't believe its B-Team is worthy of 60 minutes.
The other thing I'd love to see to free up some time is a limit on the length of official's time-outs. Seriously, if a huddle of zebras can't resolve a question in a minute or two, something is definitely wrong. The interminable gabfests in the center of the track kill the excitement for the fans.
Dramatized Reenactment of Official's Time-Out at CRG Bout (NSFW)
In terms of bout production, my only other complaint was the "YMCA" dance by the guys in facepaint at halftime of the Sheep bout. I know that there has to be a halftime break, for the sake of the game itself, but there has to be a better option than this. I'd say that approximately 10% of the thinning crowd were even remotely into what was happening on the track at that point. How about something involving the fans? Even though I don't really care much for mascot hijinks, the fans last season really got into Wooly Bully's T-Shirt launches. Or even better, CRG could have something down on the track that actually involves a few fans. I'd suggest a race that's a staple of baseball and football games: the shuttle run while getting dressed in sport-appropriate gear. Run here, put on knee pads. Run there, put on elbow pads. Run there, put on helmet, and sprint to the finish. Winner gets a prize.
And finally, a gripe about WFTDA Rules / Derby gameplay. Rugby derby must stop. Not only is it horribly boring and confusing for fans, the set-up of the pack is completely unregulated. So whoever sprints to the track first gets a major advantage in positioning? That is bad enough, but add to it the fact that one team's bench is right next to the jammer line, while the other's is 30 feet away. My preference would be to force packs to start at the pivot line and skate forward. But even if this doesn't happen, there absolutely must be a rule governing how the teams get priority in lining up their packs. CRG's Black Sheep fell behind 46-0 as Arch Rival traversed the 4 feet from bench to jammer line to get the rear position for the scrum, nine jams in a row. Arch Rival had that geographical advantage throughout the bout and won by fewer than those 46 points. Worst case, allow each team the chance to set up first on alternating jams.
A fan's view of "rugby derby" starts and strategy
I truly believe that these things took something away from a night that featured a lot of great action. The 3,500 fans at the peak of the night dwindled to maybe 500 by early in the second half of the main event. I'm sure at least some of those people left because of the boredom that filled the spaces among the great action. Even if 100 out of the 3,000 people left for this reason, that's 100 missed opportunities to create new roller derby fanatics.
Even with these negatives, however, I had a great time. Once the packs got rolling, the skill and athleticism were top-notch. The teams were evenly matched, which makes a huge difference in my enjoyment of the game. The food and staff at the Gardens were, as always, excellent. CRG's postgame autograph / meet-and-greet sessions are the gold standard for any league I've encountered. So, there's a lot of good here.
SATURDAY NIGHT / SUNDAY MORNING:
After chatting with a few of the skaters, we made our way to Molly Malone's for the after-party. There was one open table upon our arrival, so we claimed it. After 15 minutes of sitting there and watching servers deliver food and drinks to the other nearby tables, we gave up and walked over near the bar. We finally flagged someone down and found out that the kitchen was then closed, although why none of the 3-4 servers who were in and out of our section could have stopped by to check on us is a mystery. We wandered over by the semi-private skaters' area and didn't see many people we hadn't already seen at the bout, so we decided to just get some dinner on our way back to the hotel. We stayed at a La Quinta Inn at exit 15 of I-75, a spot I'd definitely recommend due to a combination of nice rooms and very reasonable rates.
I awoke on Sunday very excited, even though I wasn't thrilled about the federally-mandated lost hour of sleep. For the first time ever, I had been invited to attend a bout that was closed to the public. We made our way to the lobby for breakfast and discovered that many of the ARRG skaters were staying at the same hotel. Unfortunately, I really have no idea which skaters we saw, aside from the one or two who wore apparel with their derby names emblazoned thereon. After breakfast, we got our things together and made the short drive back to the Gardens. It was a bit surreal, pulling up to a lot with only a couple dozen cars and walking into an empty corridor. We found seats in the first row at turn 1 and settled in as the C-Teams and men's skaters warmed up.
I had no idea what to expect, as far as the "bout production" and the skill level of the skaters. Even though we had been invited, it had the feel of sneaking into a section where I didn't belong and waiting for an usher to come and kick me out. I thought it was pretty cool that the "hangover bout" skaters still got PA announcers, the same scoreboard set-up as the main bouts, and other little touches to make it seem as much like a real game as possible. They even got a full 60 minutes of derby, unlike another CRG squad I could mention. Some of the CRG skaters from the night before acted as coaches and even NSO's, while others camped out in the seats near us. One even brought her cute little dog. We got to talk with some of the skaters we missed the night before, including Buckhead Betty, Pistolwhippin Wendy, Hot Slice, and Sista Shovechild.
When it came to the game action itself, the level of talent widely outstripped the level of play, as one might expect from teams primarily comprised of rookies. There were moments that could have been confused for a high-level B-Team game, interspersed with some that somewhat resembled roller derby. On the good side, many of the jams began with packs standing just behind the pivot line and skating counterclockwise at the first whistle. I facetiously asked Miss Print and Buckhead Betty if that tactic is legal, as I hadn't seen it in roller derby of late.
Of the rookies for CRG, I was impressed by the talents of Number Cruncher, who showed very good speed and some deft moves as a jammer. NailHer and Sissy Bug (apologies if I mess up any of the names, as they are not in any program) were the two strongest blockers. Each of them laid some very powerful blocks on the ARRG rookies. Aside from one or two good jams, the CRG packs had pretty limited offensive awareness, but I do see some talent there. I would think that at least a few of the players I saw on Sunday will make rosters in the near future. Isolating the stars for ARRG was a bit tougher, as they did not all wear standardized uniforms. I noticed Calamity Cat doing good work, and #81 (no name on jersey) was a talented blocker.
The men's game was next, but we had to leave to get back on the road toward home. As many of you may know, I am not a fan of men's roller derby. I don't have anything against it, and I'm glad the men have the opportunity to play, but I don't really enjoy watching it. Nonetheless, I am trying to keep an open mind, and I would have watched the bout had I not had other commitments and a 3-hour ride home. The trip back to Toledo was uneventful, and I had a bit of time to bask in the glow of a wonderful weekend before it was time to get ready for my return to the number factory.
I have a feeling that this season is going to be quite an adjustment for me as a CRG fan. I think the team has an uphill battle to regain its position of prominence within the region and the sport, but also the capability to do so. It may not be tomorrow, but I am confident that it will be. As in any sport, seasons change, players change, but being a fan is forever.
And yes, I accept any and all of your mockery for using an Expose song this time around.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Once in a Lifetime
As many of you know, I have been a roller derby fan since 2007, not long after the sport's revival. I feel blessed in that I've been able to see the sport develop and get to know some of the era's pioneers. I saw very little out there in terms of coverage, and even less devoted to covering roller derby like a real sport. So, a few years ago, I began writing the precursor of this blog. I would attend bouts and write about them from a sports fan's perspective. Along the way, readers could see the evolution of my understanding of the sport. Skaters could have their skills respected and appreciated. And hopefully, sports fans who hadn't given roller derby a chance would have a lens through which to view the sport.
Over the years, I have been more successful on some fronts than on others, but I have always felt that the time and effort taken to write my posts were very worthwhile. Some of you may have noticed the lack of production on this blog recently. Since the last time I wrote a substantive recap, I have attended a Cincinnati Rollergirls (CRG) home doubleheader, a CRG road doubleheader, the North Central Region Playoffs, and CRG's first road doubleheader of 2012. I have many, many pages of notes from each of these events, and no recaps here. And I may ask myself: Well, how did I get here?
I could call them goals, or reasons for writing, but here are the main few:
1. I want the skaters to feel appreciated as athletes and sportswomen, not as novelties.
2. I want to improve my own knowledge of the sport, to become an "expert."
3. I want to have an outlet for my writing, as I believe I do have some talent for it.
4. I want to pull new fans into roller derby, especially those who share my background as "mainstream" sports fanatics.
5. I want to feel like I have contributed some small thing to the leagues, since geography and other considerations prevent me from truly being an essential part of any of them.
I have found that I have been at my happiest and most productive when I've felt that I was achieving most of these aims. The travel time, money, and onerous writing time were definitely worth it. Skaters appreciated my work, especially since few of them had ever had someone write about them in that way. My derby acumen improved dramatically as I saw more bouts and talked to more skaters. Forcing myself to put my experiences into words led to a more analytical approach to the sport. While I was rarely reaching any roller derby neophytes, I was giving the leagues (OK, mostly CRG) something they did not get elsewhere.
So, what happened? Due to various factors, I have either plateaued or regressed on most of my objectives. First, what I have to offer isn't so new or unique anymore. Major derby leagues see their bouts covered on DNN and myriad other websites, and most have their own in-house recappers. Skaters don't need to read my description of the events, because they can easily watch the tape, and their superior knowledge of the sport will give them far greater insights than one fan scribbling notes in real time ever could. Not only am I failing to reach new potential fans, but I am also failing to reach even the rabid fans and participants. HSWT's Facebook page has a total of 41 followers, and the site's handy metrics show that roughly a quarter of them even see a typical post from me.
Secondly, My derby knowledge has definitely hit a plateau. Until the past six months or so, I have been keenly aware of my increasing derby smarts. I felt satisfaction upon noticing something that would have previously slipped me, or upon a kind word from a skater about my perceptiveness. I certainly still believe that I know more than most "Just A Fans" out there, but I'm not progressing. I know that there are steps I could take (memorizing the rulebook and such), but I just don't see the potential to be an expert. I think there's a limit to the level of understanding one can reach, never having played a sport, nor even been associated with it on a day-to-day, competitive level. For instance, I was a competitive baseball player. I can explain just about any intricate detail of anything in baseball to anyone. However, a person who goes to eight or ten ballgames a year and watches a few more on TV will never reach that point, even if he or she works diligently to learn the game. So, do I keep pushing to make very marginal improvements, or do I accept that I'm at or near my limit?
Finally, as my "teachers" move on, am I losing the drive to connect with new derby folks? Writing my recaps has always been most rewarding when I could envision certain people reading them and know that I'd talk to those people again soon enough to gauge their reactions. But people move on. Roller derby careers are often pretty short, for many reasons. Teams replenish themselves and retain continuity through recruitment, camaraderie and frequent contact. What analog can I find to recharge myself when things start to drag?
Truly, this is not meant as a "woe is me" post. It's an attempt to figure out what's going wrong, solicit help from all of you, and find a way to make my writing relevant and enjoyable for all of us. While I have listed the "philosophical" struggles, I believe there is a huge technical issue as well. When I watch a bout and take notes, I am trying to do more than I am capable of doing, thus making the task of compiling my notes into a worthwhile post an extremely difficult chore.
Early on, I focused my notes and writing on big moments or momentum swings. I paid detailed attention to the skills and attributes of individual skaters, and to the complex gyrations within the packs. I could tell you that K Lethal looked really good making lateral cuts, and that Trauma manipulated the speed of the pack impeccably. But my posts were short on facts. I couldn't tell you whether Hannah Barbaric won more jams than she lost or how often CRG gained lead jammer status in slow pack starts. I felt that some of the things that were lacking could make my recaps better, so I changed my note-taking.
Over the past year or so, I have worked hard to keep jam-by-jam information in my notes. I list the points for each team, who was lead, any jammer penalties, notes on the jam, and cumulative score and time remaining at the end of the jam. Suddenly, I had tons of great information to include in the recaps. However, the time and focus it took to get all of this information meant that I no longer got as good a feel for the ebb and flow of the game, nor for the skills on display from individual skaters. Whereas before, I could tell you my bout MVP ten minutes after the final whistle, I now pore over my stats and details for days with no answer. Eventually, either the business of my life or frustration at not being able to write the recap I want overcomes me. An opportunity is lost, and I question the sanity of trying to write recaps in the first place.
Simply put, I am trying to do too much for one person. I cannot, within the real-time, fast-paced, and often confusing action of a roller derby bout, record both extensive detail and perceptive analysis. It's why sports announcing virtually always has at least two people involved. The play-by-play announcer can focus on the details, while the analyst or color commentator puts the game into perspective and offers opinions. A professional cannot do both well at the same time, so I certainly can't expect it of myself.
So, here is what I ask of you: Please give me feedback on what you want from a recap. Is it more important to have play-by-play with minimal analysis? Would you rather have more about the performances of the skaters and teams without the level of detail about the action? Has the derby world progressed to the point at which efforts like mine are redundant? Should I just show up and enjoy myself and leave the notebook at home? Is there any way I can improve my knowledge substantially, given my current constraints? I'm not asking you to tell me what will make me happy. Refer to my first stated goal. The work I put in is for you. How can I give you something of value without subjecting myself to a paralyzing overload that leads to dead air?
I hope that attending and writing about roller derby will forever be a joy to me. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.
Over the years, I have been more successful on some fronts than on others, but I have always felt that the time and effort taken to write my posts were very worthwhile. Some of you may have noticed the lack of production on this blog recently. Since the last time I wrote a substantive recap, I have attended a Cincinnati Rollergirls (CRG) home doubleheader, a CRG road doubleheader, the North Central Region Playoffs, and CRG's first road doubleheader of 2012. I have many, many pages of notes from each of these events, and no recaps here. And I may ask myself: Well, how did I get here?
I could call them goals, or reasons for writing, but here are the main few:
1. I want the skaters to feel appreciated as athletes and sportswomen, not as novelties.
2. I want to improve my own knowledge of the sport, to become an "expert."
3. I want to have an outlet for my writing, as I believe I do have some talent for it.
4. I want to pull new fans into roller derby, especially those who share my background as "mainstream" sports fanatics.
5. I want to feel like I have contributed some small thing to the leagues, since geography and other considerations prevent me from truly being an essential part of any of them.
I have found that I have been at my happiest and most productive when I've felt that I was achieving most of these aims. The travel time, money, and onerous writing time were definitely worth it. Skaters appreciated my work, especially since few of them had ever had someone write about them in that way. My derby acumen improved dramatically as I saw more bouts and talked to more skaters. Forcing myself to put my experiences into words led to a more analytical approach to the sport. While I was rarely reaching any roller derby neophytes, I was giving the leagues (OK, mostly CRG) something they did not get elsewhere.
So, what happened? Due to various factors, I have either plateaued or regressed on most of my objectives. First, what I have to offer isn't so new or unique anymore. Major derby leagues see their bouts covered on DNN and myriad other websites, and most have their own in-house recappers. Skaters don't need to read my description of the events, because they can easily watch the tape, and their superior knowledge of the sport will give them far greater insights than one fan scribbling notes in real time ever could. Not only am I failing to reach new potential fans, but I am also failing to reach even the rabid fans and participants. HSWT's Facebook page has a total of 41 followers, and the site's handy metrics show that roughly a quarter of them even see a typical post from me.
Secondly, My derby knowledge has definitely hit a plateau. Until the past six months or so, I have been keenly aware of my increasing derby smarts. I felt satisfaction upon noticing something that would have previously slipped me, or upon a kind word from a skater about my perceptiveness. I certainly still believe that I know more than most "Just A Fans" out there, but I'm not progressing. I know that there are steps I could take (memorizing the rulebook and such), but I just don't see the potential to be an expert. I think there's a limit to the level of understanding one can reach, never having played a sport, nor even been associated with it on a day-to-day, competitive level. For instance, I was a competitive baseball player. I can explain just about any intricate detail of anything in baseball to anyone. However, a person who goes to eight or ten ballgames a year and watches a few more on TV will never reach that point, even if he or she works diligently to learn the game. So, do I keep pushing to make very marginal improvements, or do I accept that I'm at or near my limit?
Finally, as my "teachers" move on, am I losing the drive to connect with new derby folks? Writing my recaps has always been most rewarding when I could envision certain people reading them and know that I'd talk to those people again soon enough to gauge their reactions. But people move on. Roller derby careers are often pretty short, for many reasons. Teams replenish themselves and retain continuity through recruitment, camaraderie and frequent contact. What analog can I find to recharge myself when things start to drag?
Truly, this is not meant as a "woe is me" post. It's an attempt to figure out what's going wrong, solicit help from all of you, and find a way to make my writing relevant and enjoyable for all of us. While I have listed the "philosophical" struggles, I believe there is a huge technical issue as well. When I watch a bout and take notes, I am trying to do more than I am capable of doing, thus making the task of compiling my notes into a worthwhile post an extremely difficult chore.
Early on, I focused my notes and writing on big moments or momentum swings. I paid detailed attention to the skills and attributes of individual skaters, and to the complex gyrations within the packs. I could tell you that K Lethal looked really good making lateral cuts, and that Trauma manipulated the speed of the pack impeccably. But my posts were short on facts. I couldn't tell you whether Hannah Barbaric won more jams than she lost or how often CRG gained lead jammer status in slow pack starts. I felt that some of the things that were lacking could make my recaps better, so I changed my note-taking.
Over the past year or so, I have worked hard to keep jam-by-jam information in my notes. I list the points for each team, who was lead, any jammer penalties, notes on the jam, and cumulative score and time remaining at the end of the jam. Suddenly, I had tons of great information to include in the recaps. However, the time and focus it took to get all of this information meant that I no longer got as good a feel for the ebb and flow of the game, nor for the skills on display from individual skaters. Whereas before, I could tell you my bout MVP ten minutes after the final whistle, I now pore over my stats and details for days with no answer. Eventually, either the business of my life or frustration at not being able to write the recap I want overcomes me. An opportunity is lost, and I question the sanity of trying to write recaps in the first place.
Simply put, I am trying to do too much for one person. I cannot, within the real-time, fast-paced, and often confusing action of a roller derby bout, record both extensive detail and perceptive analysis. It's why sports announcing virtually always has at least two people involved. The play-by-play announcer can focus on the details, while the analyst or color commentator puts the game into perspective and offers opinions. A professional cannot do both well at the same time, so I certainly can't expect it of myself.
So, here is what I ask of you: Please give me feedback on what you want from a recap. Is it more important to have play-by-play with minimal analysis? Would you rather have more about the performances of the skaters and teams without the level of detail about the action? Has the derby world progressed to the point at which efforts like mine are redundant? Should I just show up and enjoy myself and leave the notebook at home? Is there any way I can improve my knowledge substantially, given my current constraints? I'm not asking you to tell me what will make me happy. Refer to my first stated goal. The work I put in is for you. How can I give you something of value without subjecting myself to a paralyzing overload that leads to dead air?
I hope that attending and writing about roller derby will forever be a joy to me. Same as it ever was. Same as it ever was.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
2011 Roller Derby Wrap-Up
The end of the year tends to be a time for reflection, and a time for writers everywhere to haul out the "Best of the Year" list as a handy crutch. While I normally avoid cliches like the plague, I can't pass up the opportunity to post my list here.
2011 was a year of firsts for me in terms of roller derby. I experienced many of the Western teams for the first time, thanks to my early-season trip to the Wild West Showdown. I became a season ticketholder for the Cincinnati Rollergirls (the first time in my life that I have purchased a full season ticket for any team on any sport). I made it to Indy for my first Circle City Derby Girls home bout, and again a few months later for my first trip to North Central Regionals. In addition to all of the "firsts," I made it to two Glass City Rollers home bouts, four CRG home bouts, and CRG's road bout against Steel City. In all, 2011 was easily my most prolific year for roller derby travel.
I decided that it would be very difficult to issue one "best of" list for the year. My experiences with CRG would naturally overshadow those with other leagues, by virtue of volume alone. So, I will go with two lists: "Best of CRG 2011" and "Best of (non-CRG) Roller Derby 2011." All of these awards are based solely on events I attended, so no skaters from Gotham, Oly, RMRG, etc.
BEST OF CRG 2011:
MVP Jammer, Black Sheep: Hannah Ouchocinco - Hannah was her usual, steady self in 2011. While she uncorked at least one amazing, Matrix-esque move in each regular-season bout I saw, her consistently heady play and overall skill set earned her the nod. She was easily the least-penalized CRG jammer, and her track awareness made tactical mistakes extremely rare. In sports, many see the term "grinder" as a pejorative, implying a lack of top-level skill. When I call Hannah a grinder, it is with admiration. She is certainly skillful and athletic, but she also gets the most out of her ability by combining it with toughness and smarts.
MVP Jammer, Silent Lambs: Hot Slice - Hop Devil was excellent in her bouts with the Lambs, and Nastee had one amazing game. Neither of them, however, provided the consistent contributions of Hot Slice to her team's jammer corps. Showing good speed and surprising power, Hot Slice was the go-to skater when her team needed a big jam. Her play will certainly continue to improve with more experience, and I see Hot Slice as a candidate to make the jump to the Sheep at some point in 2012.
Most Improved Jammer, CRG: Wheezy - Wheezy had an excellent season in 2011, going from a Lambs/Sheep Tweener to a full-time member of the Sheep jamming rotation. Her skill set improved in every major area, including straight-line speed, agility and balance, power, and track awareness. At times, she was the most effective jammer on her team, finding ways through tough Windy City packs when Hannah and K Lethal were struggling. At regionals, she fought through illness to give her team a lift. In addition to all of this, her personality has made her a true favorite among the crowds at the Gardens.
MVP Blocker, Black Sheep: Sk8r-Kinney - The blocking contingent has always been CRG's greatest strength. A typical pack in 2011 might include standouts such as Karma Krash, Trauma, Buckhead Betty, Nuk'em, and Sk8 Crime. As great as those skaters are, it was an easy choice to select Kinney here. She is the best one-on-one blocker on the team, and one of the two or three best anywhere whom I have had the pleasure to observe. She can hand out a big hit, but her game is more positional in nature. She always seems to be in exactly the right position, and her agility and lateral quickness are superb. If you're a Top Gun fan, consider her Iceman, a model of technical perfection who wears down the opponent until her prey gives up or makes a mistake. Had she not already made her claim to the award, her one-woman pack at regionals would have put her over the top.
MVP Blocker, Silent Lambs: Kitten Kicker - This was one of my toughest decisions. I strongly considered Barracuda, Bex Pistol, Cherry Choke, Killian Destroy, and Pistolwhippin' Wendy as well. Although Kitten Kicker (as well as others on my list) did spend some time with the Black Sheep, I considered her primarily a Lamb. Kitten Kicker used her lanky frame, smooth lateral movement, and pack awareness to contribute strong efforts throughout the season. The final tiebreak for me was consistency. While I never selected her as a bout MVP, I also never saw her have a subpar game, and that means a lot over the course of a season.
Most Improved Blocker, CRG: Maime - In previous seasons, Maime was often one stride too late to make an effective block. 2011, however, saw her improve in both the mental and physical aspects of the game to become a very effective blocker. First, her lateral quickness was vastly improved. She looked stronger and faster in all aspects of the game. Equally important, her track savvy took a giant leap forward. Her positioning was significantly better, which allowed her to cut the space she had to cover to make a block. Maime's hard work was rewarded with a promotion to the Black Sheep for the North Central Playoffs. While she didn't see much track time in Indy, it was clear that she could hold her own against the top-level talent on display.
Rookie of the Year, CRG: Hot Slice - See above.
Fans of the Year: The CRG Beeramid Crew - Their outstanding aluminum creations wowed skaters and spectators alike (and annoyed some of the grumpier opponents). One of the highlights of attending a bout at the Gardens is watching the beeramid grow.
Best Bout / Best Moment of the Year, CRG: Silent Lambs vs. Detroit B (Final home bout) - As regular readers know, I am an unabashed fan of B Team Derby. I love watching the hard working, underappreciated skaters get their moments in the sun. The Silent Lambs were in great form against Detroit. The blocking was a magnificent show of teamwork, as both teams' blockers worked in tandem to close holes and recycle jammers. The low-scoring, back-and-forth contest stood tied at 66 with less than a minute remaining in regulation. Hot Slice stepped to the jammer line, and the CRG pack did a great job, harassing the opposing jammer into taking the star to the penalty box. Hot Slice achieved lead jammer status, picked up two points, and put her hands to her hips as she skidded out of bounds near turn one, capping the CRG victory. While the action was great, I enjoyed the atmosphere in the game's closing minutes even more. It had been a tense and physical bout, and it was easy to see that there was some bad blood building on the track. The fans, as they all-too-rarely do during B Team bouts, took over the building. The noise and cheers were amazing. When the game ended, the fans erupted as the victorious Lambs mobbed each other. It's no secret that Miss Print has been one of my very favorite skaters since I saw my first bout in 2007. I described in an earlier post the sad details of my own "retirement" from competitive sports, and as I thought of Miss Print in her last bout, my eyes welled up a bit. She joined John Elway and Michael Jordan (his first two retirements, at least) in walking off the stage in glory and adulation. As much as I love the Black Sheep, the night would have been complete for me whether they later won by 100 or lost by 100.
BEST OF (non-CRG) ROLLER DERBY 2011:
Best Jammer: Heather Juska (Denver) - I saw Juska and her team at the Wild West Showdown early in the season, and I came away very impressed. Wearing the star, she is equal parts crafty and explosive, wearing out opposing blockers with her unrelenting attacks. Her slender frame belies her toughness, and I was not at all surprised to see her take a prominent role with Team USA in the World Cup. (Honorable Mentions: Soulfearic Acid of Rose City, Maiden America of Naptown, Downtown Dallis of Arch Rival)
Best Jammer, Non-Playoff Team: On'Da Sligh (Slaughter County) - On'Da Sligh was another revelation from my trip to the Pacific Northwest. She was by far the best skater on the track in each game her team played, showing off speed and some dazzling moves. Her 360-degree spins in pack traffic were some of the best jammer jukes I've ever witnessed. I would love to see her play against higher-level competition, as I certainly think she could handle the step up. (Honorable Mentions: Roll-R-Damage of Circle City, Cosmo Disco of Des Moines)
Best Blocker: Jackie Daniels (Windy City) - Since I didn't do a "double threat" category, Jackie Daniels is placed here (by virtue of blocking more often than jamming in the Windy City bouts I saw). Ever since her days in Grand Rapids, Jackie has shown toughness, quickness, and smarts. All of those traits and more were on display in her trip to Cincinnati and her action in the NC Playoffs. Much more on her later. (Honorable Mentions: Gabrielle Begeman of Denver, Bork Bork Bork of Windy City, Smack Ya Sideways of Rose City)
Best Blocker, Non-Playoff Team: Megger Bomb (Des Moines) - When I saw Megger Bomb play against Circle City in Indy, it took me back to my first ever derby bout, and a big, fast blocker named Juwana Hurt. Megger Bomb combines intimidating size (and the punishing hits that follow) with nimble footwork, good straight-line speed, and precision positioning. She is a spirit-killing blocker, laying hit after hit on a jammer until the jammer's legs are rubber and her speed is sapped. (Honorable Mentions: Faye Stunaway of Circle City, Astro Glide of Bellingham)
Best Bout / Best Moment of the Year: North Central Region Semifinals, Windy City vs. Naptown - Windy City was in danger of losing to a NC Region opponent for the first time ever, as Naptown was putting on a sharp and furious display in front of the hometown crowd. Since there is no way I can tell it any better, I will defer to Justice Feelgood Marshall's (Windy City Bench Coach and DNN Poobah) description of the events.
Jackie Daniels goes out to jam the next one and it's totally going our way; Yvette, Bork, Sarge and Hoosier are all over the Naptown jammer. Jackie gets lead and a full 5 points on her first lap. Scoreboard updates to Naptown 87, Windy City 81. Our blockers continue to work the Naptown jammer; she is still stuck in the pack and in danger of getting lapped again. Jackie is ripping up the track now, coming for a second scoring pass; she knows she can get the lead back if this jam keeps going well.
Except it stops going well, because as she enters the pack at pretty close to her top speed, she tries to go around a nearly stopped Sarge to the right, just as Sarge moves to the right. Sarge is what the military would classify as a hard target. Physics happen and Jackie goes from like 60 to 0 in an instant, hitting the floor on her back super hard. Everybody in the room goes "OOOOH" at the same time. As any derby player knows, the collisions you don't expect -- the ones you're not braced for -- are the ones that fuck you up.
So Jackie's on the ground. Doesn't move for a couple seconds but it feels like ten. Her jam ref is standing over her and looks like he's about to call the jam on injury. Sarge is also obviously concerned. I'm sure Jackie's got to be relatively seriously hurt, because otherwise she'd call it off, right?
But no. Jackie slowly rolls over, slowly gets up, and keeps fucking going. Amazingly. She is really interested in that scoring pass. She's slower than she was before and obviously in some pain, but she's also Jackie. She gets the 4 points and calls it off at 9-0.
When Jackie gets back to the bench, our lineup manager Angel Dustt and I immediately check to see if she's ok. She's gasping and holding her chest and can hardly talk; she sits down heavily in the back row of seats and unbuckles her chin strap.
Angel says something to her right then, something along the lines of "Nice jam" or "Are you trying to kill yourself?" I do remember exactly what Jackie says back to her in between ragged breaths: "I wanna win. I wanna win."
I'm trying to come up with the right adjective to describe to you exactly *how* she said it, because it is hard to accurately convey how affecting those words were to me, at that moment. She didn't say it very loudly or emphatically -- partially because she wasn't exactly breathing correctly -- but with this quiet intensity and passion that left no doubt of how badly she wanted it and how pain and fatigue were basically irrelevant considerations.
I have a great deal of respect for anybody willing to put themselves out there and play derby, but I don't think I've ever felt respect for pure competitive spirit in my life as strongly as I did at that moment. Quite a few times in the past couple of days I have gotten literally choked up thinking about it. I don't really do "choked up." This was a considerable exception.
'Course that's not really the end of the story; we were still behind 87-85, but Beth Amp got 2-0 to tie it next and it was a new game again. Later in the game Hoosier Mama saved the day as our only blocker out on the floor during a powerjam for Naptown, managing to keep their jammer dead slow, out of bounds or on the floor for most of it.
Jackie herself got the lead back late with a huge 19-0 in the last five minutes, and jammed the last two frames as well. That second half was full of serious heroics up and down our roster. But when I think of this tournament and that game, I know I am always going to remember that image of Jackie Daniels on the bench, barely able to breathe, eyes on the next jam, saying "I wanna win. I wanna win." and ready to go right back out there again.
Now, I was not privy to the conversation on Windy's bench, but Jackie's actions on the track were one of the best sports moments (not just derby moments) that I have ever experienced. First, the collision. I have been blindsided by 330-pound D-1 College prospects on crackback blocks. I once initiated a collision with a catcher that resulted in a separated shoulder (me), a broken jaw (him), a broken collarbone (him), and a three-game suspension (me). But I can assure you that I have never been a part of a collision like this. Had she merely left the track under her own power, it would have been amazing. Instead, she dragged herself through the pack for four more points in an extremely tight contest. She then proceeded to be the closer in her team's victory.
Folks, this was Michael Jordan fighting through the flu to put up 38 in the NBA Finals. This was Byron Leftwich completing passes despite needing his linemen to carry him down the field between plays. This was Duncan Keith returning from the locker room two shifts after losing seven teeth to get the Blackhawks to the Stanley Cup Finals. If you were there in Indy, you witnessed greatness.
Best Afterparty: Circle City Derby Girls - I am not usually a fan of karaoke, but the ladies from Indy made it work. It was a fun atmosphere, and the skaters (gasp!) actually took time to mingle with fans, instead of staying in little cliques. (Honorable Mention: Steel City, for the excellent DJ and great party music)
There you have it. 2011 was a great year for me as a nomadic derby fan, and I'll close with my 2012 Derby Resolutions:
1. Attend at least two high-level regular season and/or playoff tournaments.
2. Attend at least four CRG home bouts
3. Attend at least one CRG road bout
4. Attend at least one Circle City home bout
5. Attend at least two Glass City Rollers home bouts
6. Attend at least two home (interleague) bouts of other WFTDA leagues
7. Attend at least two home (interleague) bouts of other non-WFTDA leagues
8. Attend at least one banked-track bout
9. Purchase Dragon speech recognition software, and
10. Use it to actually complete recaps of at least 80% of the bouts I attend.
2011 was a year of firsts for me in terms of roller derby. I experienced many of the Western teams for the first time, thanks to my early-season trip to the Wild West Showdown. I became a season ticketholder for the Cincinnati Rollergirls (the first time in my life that I have purchased a full season ticket for any team on any sport). I made it to Indy for my first Circle City Derby Girls home bout, and again a few months later for my first trip to North Central Regionals. In addition to all of the "firsts," I made it to two Glass City Rollers home bouts, four CRG home bouts, and CRG's road bout against Steel City. In all, 2011 was easily my most prolific year for roller derby travel.
I decided that it would be very difficult to issue one "best of" list for the year. My experiences with CRG would naturally overshadow those with other leagues, by virtue of volume alone. So, I will go with two lists: "Best of CRG 2011" and "Best of (non-CRG) Roller Derby 2011." All of these awards are based solely on events I attended, so no skaters from Gotham, Oly, RMRG, etc.
BEST OF CRG 2011:
MVP Jammer, Black Sheep: Hannah Ouchocinco - Hannah was her usual, steady self in 2011. While she uncorked at least one amazing, Matrix-esque move in each regular-season bout I saw, her consistently heady play and overall skill set earned her the nod. She was easily the least-penalized CRG jammer, and her track awareness made tactical mistakes extremely rare. In sports, many see the term "grinder" as a pejorative, implying a lack of top-level skill. When I call Hannah a grinder, it is with admiration. She is certainly skillful and athletic, but she also gets the most out of her ability by combining it with toughness and smarts.
MVP Jammer, Silent Lambs: Hot Slice - Hop Devil was excellent in her bouts with the Lambs, and Nastee had one amazing game. Neither of them, however, provided the consistent contributions of Hot Slice to her team's jammer corps. Showing good speed and surprising power, Hot Slice was the go-to skater when her team needed a big jam. Her play will certainly continue to improve with more experience, and I see Hot Slice as a candidate to make the jump to the Sheep at some point in 2012.
Most Improved Jammer, CRG: Wheezy - Wheezy had an excellent season in 2011, going from a Lambs/Sheep Tweener to a full-time member of the Sheep jamming rotation. Her skill set improved in every major area, including straight-line speed, agility and balance, power, and track awareness. At times, she was the most effective jammer on her team, finding ways through tough Windy City packs when Hannah and K Lethal were struggling. At regionals, she fought through illness to give her team a lift. In addition to all of this, her personality has made her a true favorite among the crowds at the Gardens.
MVP Blocker, Black Sheep: Sk8r-Kinney - The blocking contingent has always been CRG's greatest strength. A typical pack in 2011 might include standouts such as Karma Krash, Trauma, Buckhead Betty, Nuk'em, and Sk8 Crime. As great as those skaters are, it was an easy choice to select Kinney here. She is the best one-on-one blocker on the team, and one of the two or three best anywhere whom I have had the pleasure to observe. She can hand out a big hit, but her game is more positional in nature. She always seems to be in exactly the right position, and her agility and lateral quickness are superb. If you're a Top Gun fan, consider her Iceman, a model of technical perfection who wears down the opponent until her prey gives up or makes a mistake. Had she not already made her claim to the award, her one-woman pack at regionals would have put her over the top.
MVP Blocker, Silent Lambs: Kitten Kicker - This was one of my toughest decisions. I strongly considered Barracuda, Bex Pistol, Cherry Choke, Killian Destroy, and Pistolwhippin' Wendy as well. Although Kitten Kicker (as well as others on my list) did spend some time with the Black Sheep, I considered her primarily a Lamb. Kitten Kicker used her lanky frame, smooth lateral movement, and pack awareness to contribute strong efforts throughout the season. The final tiebreak for me was consistency. While I never selected her as a bout MVP, I also never saw her have a subpar game, and that means a lot over the course of a season.
Most Improved Blocker, CRG: Maime - In previous seasons, Maime was often one stride too late to make an effective block. 2011, however, saw her improve in both the mental and physical aspects of the game to become a very effective blocker. First, her lateral quickness was vastly improved. She looked stronger and faster in all aspects of the game. Equally important, her track savvy took a giant leap forward. Her positioning was significantly better, which allowed her to cut the space she had to cover to make a block. Maime's hard work was rewarded with a promotion to the Black Sheep for the North Central Playoffs. While she didn't see much track time in Indy, it was clear that she could hold her own against the top-level talent on display.
Rookie of the Year, CRG: Hot Slice - See above.
Fans of the Year: The CRG Beeramid Crew - Their outstanding aluminum creations wowed skaters and spectators alike (and annoyed some of the grumpier opponents). One of the highlights of attending a bout at the Gardens is watching the beeramid grow.
Best Bout / Best Moment of the Year, CRG: Silent Lambs vs. Detroit B (Final home bout) - As regular readers know, I am an unabashed fan of B Team Derby. I love watching the hard working, underappreciated skaters get their moments in the sun. The Silent Lambs were in great form against Detroit. The blocking was a magnificent show of teamwork, as both teams' blockers worked in tandem to close holes and recycle jammers. The low-scoring, back-and-forth contest stood tied at 66 with less than a minute remaining in regulation. Hot Slice stepped to the jammer line, and the CRG pack did a great job, harassing the opposing jammer into taking the star to the penalty box. Hot Slice achieved lead jammer status, picked up two points, and put her hands to her hips as she skidded out of bounds near turn one, capping the CRG victory. While the action was great, I enjoyed the atmosphere in the game's closing minutes even more. It had been a tense and physical bout, and it was easy to see that there was some bad blood building on the track. The fans, as they all-too-rarely do during B Team bouts, took over the building. The noise and cheers were amazing. When the game ended, the fans erupted as the victorious Lambs mobbed each other. It's no secret that Miss Print has been one of my very favorite skaters since I saw my first bout in 2007. I described in an earlier post the sad details of my own "retirement" from competitive sports, and as I thought of Miss Print in her last bout, my eyes welled up a bit. She joined John Elway and Michael Jordan (his first two retirements, at least) in walking off the stage in glory and adulation. As much as I love the Black Sheep, the night would have been complete for me whether they later won by 100 or lost by 100.
BEST OF (non-CRG) ROLLER DERBY 2011:
Best Jammer: Heather Juska (Denver) - I saw Juska and her team at the Wild West Showdown early in the season, and I came away very impressed. Wearing the star, she is equal parts crafty and explosive, wearing out opposing blockers with her unrelenting attacks. Her slender frame belies her toughness, and I was not at all surprised to see her take a prominent role with Team USA in the World Cup. (Honorable Mentions: Soulfearic Acid of Rose City, Maiden America of Naptown, Downtown Dallis of Arch Rival)
Best Jammer, Non-Playoff Team: On'Da Sligh (Slaughter County) - On'Da Sligh was another revelation from my trip to the Pacific Northwest. She was by far the best skater on the track in each game her team played, showing off speed and some dazzling moves. Her 360-degree spins in pack traffic were some of the best jammer jukes I've ever witnessed. I would love to see her play against higher-level competition, as I certainly think she could handle the step up. (Honorable Mentions: Roll-R-Damage of Circle City, Cosmo Disco of Des Moines)
Best Blocker: Jackie Daniels (Windy City) - Since I didn't do a "double threat" category, Jackie Daniels is placed here (by virtue of blocking more often than jamming in the Windy City bouts I saw). Ever since her days in Grand Rapids, Jackie has shown toughness, quickness, and smarts. All of those traits and more were on display in her trip to Cincinnati and her action in the NC Playoffs. Much more on her later. (Honorable Mentions: Gabrielle Begeman of Denver, Bork Bork Bork of Windy City, Smack Ya Sideways of Rose City)
Best Blocker, Non-Playoff Team: Megger Bomb (Des Moines) - When I saw Megger Bomb play against Circle City in Indy, it took me back to my first ever derby bout, and a big, fast blocker named Juwana Hurt. Megger Bomb combines intimidating size (and the punishing hits that follow) with nimble footwork, good straight-line speed, and precision positioning. She is a spirit-killing blocker, laying hit after hit on a jammer until the jammer's legs are rubber and her speed is sapped. (Honorable Mentions: Faye Stunaway of Circle City, Astro Glide of Bellingham)
Best Bout / Best Moment of the Year: North Central Region Semifinals, Windy City vs. Naptown - Windy City was in danger of losing to a NC Region opponent for the first time ever, as Naptown was putting on a sharp and furious display in front of the hometown crowd. Since there is no way I can tell it any better, I will defer to Justice Feelgood Marshall's (Windy City Bench Coach and DNN Poobah) description of the events.
Jackie Daniels goes out to jam the next one and it's totally going our way; Yvette, Bork, Sarge and Hoosier are all over the Naptown jammer. Jackie gets lead and a full 5 points on her first lap. Scoreboard updates to Naptown 87, Windy City 81. Our blockers continue to work the Naptown jammer; she is still stuck in the pack and in danger of getting lapped again. Jackie is ripping up the track now, coming for a second scoring pass; she knows she can get the lead back if this jam keeps going well.
Except it stops going well, because as she enters the pack at pretty close to her top speed, she tries to go around a nearly stopped Sarge to the right, just as Sarge moves to the right. Sarge is what the military would classify as a hard target. Physics happen and Jackie goes from like 60 to 0 in an instant, hitting the floor on her back super hard. Everybody in the room goes "OOOOH" at the same time. As any derby player knows, the collisions you don't expect -- the ones you're not braced for -- are the ones that fuck you up.
So Jackie's on the ground. Doesn't move for a couple seconds but it feels like ten. Her jam ref is standing over her and looks like he's about to call the jam on injury. Sarge is also obviously concerned. I'm sure Jackie's got to be relatively seriously hurt, because otherwise she'd call it off, right?
But no. Jackie slowly rolls over, slowly gets up, and keeps fucking going. Amazingly. She is really interested in that scoring pass. She's slower than she was before and obviously in some pain, but she's also Jackie. She gets the 4 points and calls it off at 9-0.
When Jackie gets back to the bench, our lineup manager Angel Dustt and I immediately check to see if she's ok. She's gasping and holding her chest and can hardly talk; she sits down heavily in the back row of seats and unbuckles her chin strap.
Angel says something to her right then, something along the lines of "Nice jam" or "Are you trying to kill yourself?" I do remember exactly what Jackie says back to her in between ragged breaths: "I wanna win. I wanna win."
I'm trying to come up with the right adjective to describe to you exactly *how* she said it, because it is hard to accurately convey how affecting those words were to me, at that moment. She didn't say it very loudly or emphatically -- partially because she wasn't exactly breathing correctly -- but with this quiet intensity and passion that left no doubt of how badly she wanted it and how pain and fatigue were basically irrelevant considerations.
I have a great deal of respect for anybody willing to put themselves out there and play derby, but I don't think I've ever felt respect for pure competitive spirit in my life as strongly as I did at that moment. Quite a few times in the past couple of days I have gotten literally choked up thinking about it. I don't really do "choked up." This was a considerable exception.
'Course that's not really the end of the story; we were still behind 87-85, but Beth Amp got 2-0 to tie it next and it was a new game again. Later in the game Hoosier Mama saved the day as our only blocker out on the floor during a powerjam for Naptown, managing to keep their jammer dead slow, out of bounds or on the floor for most of it.
Jackie herself got the lead back late with a huge 19-0 in the last five minutes, and jammed the last two frames as well. That second half was full of serious heroics up and down our roster. But when I think of this tournament and that game, I know I am always going to remember that image of Jackie Daniels on the bench, barely able to breathe, eyes on the next jam, saying "I wanna win. I wanna win." and ready to go right back out there again.
Now, I was not privy to the conversation on Windy's bench, but Jackie's actions on the track were one of the best sports moments (not just derby moments) that I have ever experienced. First, the collision. I have been blindsided by 330-pound D-1 College prospects on crackback blocks. I once initiated a collision with a catcher that resulted in a separated shoulder (me), a broken jaw (him), a broken collarbone (him), and a three-game suspension (me). But I can assure you that I have never been a part of a collision like this. Had she merely left the track under her own power, it would have been amazing. Instead, she dragged herself through the pack for four more points in an extremely tight contest. She then proceeded to be the closer in her team's victory.
Folks, this was Michael Jordan fighting through the flu to put up 38 in the NBA Finals. This was Byron Leftwich completing passes despite needing his linemen to carry him down the field between plays. This was Duncan Keith returning from the locker room two shifts after losing seven teeth to get the Blackhawks to the Stanley Cup Finals. If you were there in Indy, you witnessed greatness.
Best Afterparty: Circle City Derby Girls - I am not usually a fan of karaoke, but the ladies from Indy made it work. It was a fun atmosphere, and the skaters (gasp!) actually took time to mingle with fans, instead of staying in little cliques. (Honorable Mention: Steel City, for the excellent DJ and great party music)
There you have it. 2011 was a great year for me as a nomadic derby fan, and I'll close with my 2012 Derby Resolutions:
1. Attend at least two high-level regular season and/or playoff tournaments.
2. Attend at least four CRG home bouts
3. Attend at least one CRG road bout
4. Attend at least one Circle City home bout
5. Attend at least two Glass City Rollers home bouts
6. Attend at least two home (interleague) bouts of other WFTDA leagues
7. Attend at least two home (interleague) bouts of other non-WFTDA leagues
8. Attend at least one banked-track bout
9. Purchase Dragon speech recognition software, and
10. Use it to actually complete recaps of at least 80% of the bouts I attend.
Friday, December 2, 2011
I Didn't Mean to Turn You On
Well, since I have lately been an abysmal failure at posting recaps, I thought I'd try something different today. Instead of frustrating myself by being unable to push through an eight-hour or more writing project, I'm just going to give some quick thoughts on a couple of current issues in roller derby. I have a feeling that some of the things I have to say here will upset some people, but it's not like I've never been widely reviled before. (I was in school to become a lawyer, after all.)
(Best John McLaughlin voice) Issue One: What to make of the "20 Derby Girls to turn you on" and "20 Roller Derby Girls who will turn you on to the Sport" articles?
First, let me be very clear that the original (now deleted) post was an absolute piece of crap. It was merely a bunch of photos (unattributed ones at that) pulled from random places and accompanied by banal and pathetic captions. I'm not sure how widespread the site's viewership is, but I hope it is minimal. I doubt that I've said anything controversial thus far.
Now, here's where I may get some disagreement. I am not opposed to the purported aim of that post, but merely to the execution. It's time for me to come out of the closet and proudly be who I truly am. I have been a devoted fan of roller derby since I first saw a bout, and I am truly drawn to the athleticism and strategy involved. But you already knew that. You can't understand the full measure of my love for the sport, however, without one additional revelation: I like women. I mean, really, really like women. I like attractive women more than I do baseball, football, roller derby, and Murray Head's "One Night in Bangkok." I am pretty sure that I like them slightly more than I do water and air. I'm fairly certain that I was born this way.
It should not be surprising, then, to observe that most of my favorite skaters are not only very talented, but also very easy on the eyes. I admit that I have a mental ranking of the hottest skaters on some of my favorite teams (Cincy, Circle City, Windy, Denver, etc.). I don't believe in the slightest that highlighting the physical attractiveness of the athletes detracts from the public taking the sport seriously. In fact, I believe that it is a legitimate avenue to bring a more widespread fan base to the sport. After all, thousands of women drooling over Tom Brady have not managed to tarnish the NFL. Women who come to the ballpark to see David Wright or sit at the Jake in the "Grady's Ladies" section have grown to be true and more knowledgeable baseball fans.
It seems that roller derby has a split personality when it comes to this issue. The same folks who cheer the inclusion of a naked Suzy Hotrod in ESPN's magazine get offended when others "marginalize" the sport by paying attention to the "sex(y) sells" angle. There is a reason that old-school roller derby types referred to nice breasts as "tickets." As long as the fans who come to ogle are treated to a great athletic competition, the sport comes out ahead. I will never claim to be an expert on "empowerment" or women's issues in general, but I do not understand why anyone is offended to be thought attractive. Maybe it's just that I'm not much to look at, but I would be more than happy to be eyed amorously once in a while. So, I think that a well done "20 Sexiest Derby Girls" article in a mainstream publication or website would be a plus.
Enter the "Derby Deeds" website, which quickly moved to right the situation by providing a list of 20 skaters who would turn someone on to the sport of roller derby. Again, I found the intention better than the execution. First and foremost, is there a single person reading that website who is not already into roller derby? Beyond that, however, I do have some issues with the list. First, allow me to give due credit. The writers highlighted some excellent and underrated skaters (Begeman, Mouse, Four Closer, etc.). Also, many of the skaters shown were of the "clean-cut" variety. Here's where I get into trouble again, but I am not a fan of extensive tattoos, especially on women. I am fine with every person's right to self-expression and body decoration, but it just does nothing for me to see large, garish tattoos covering every surface. Disregarding for a moment my earlier point that non-derby fans (or future derby fans, as I like to think of them) don't read Derby Deeds, these are the images of the sport that will appeal to a wider, more mainstream audience. I have no problems rooting for the less traditional-looking athlete, in any sport, nor in appreciating their talents. Except for the NBA's collection of thugs, though, every major sport's most popular and marketable athletes are the clean-cut types. You don't see Aaron Rodgers, Derek Jeter, or Sidney Crosby sporting the tattoo sleeves and multiple visible piercings.
Since my praise for Derby Deeds devolved into a rant, there are a few more problems with the list. First, it's extremely LA-centric. Seriously, three different LA Derby Dolls, and another from Angel City? Add in the other California teams, and they're nearing half of the entire list. Also, some of the skaters were profiled by those who have rarely seen them skate. Would it be too much to solicit testimonials from more knowledgeable sources? The guy who wrote K Lethal's blurb has seen her once? While I certainly agree that she is immensely talented and aggressive, I had to laugh when he claimed that one of her great strengths was avoiding fouls. K Lethal does many things extremely well, but avoiding the box while wearing the star is not one of them. The inclusion of skaters in face paint also detracts from the list. What serious, mainstream sport features top athletes in full-face white paint? Finally, I know that any finite list will omit many great skaters, but no list of the top 20 anything in roller derby is complete without Jackie Daniels. If anyone saw her performance at NC Regionals this year and didn't come away a derby fan, I have no hope for that person's soul.
Issue Two: Pros and cons of the World Cup.
Many of my points are in response to those made by "Commissioner" Jerry Seltzer and commenters on his blog, so you might want to look at that here first. I have not had the chance to watch any of the action thus far, but there have been complaints that the venue is not "World Cup" caliber. I have not personally seen it. I agree that if at all possible, tournaments of this magnitude should be held in excellent arenas. The current realities of the sport, however, mean that such opportunities will not always exist. Simply look at the sites for some of the 2012 WFTDA Playoffs. The North Central Region will bout in Chicago? Indy? Cincinnati? Milwaukee? Cleveland? St. Louis? No, try the sporting mecca of Niagara Falls, more than 250 miles from the nearest team that made the 2011 NC field. Of course, I'd love to see the World Cup played in Chicago, Seattle, or another city with a top roller derby venue. But, I'd rather the skaters have this opportunity in a subpar arena than nowhere at all.
One major problem is the competitiveness of the matchups. When Team USA's Heather Juska posted about the World Cup groupings, I stated that I would take the USA minus 300 points against either of its two competitors. The team's first bout resulted in a 377-8 drubbing of New Zealand. The closest bout of day one was an 83-point victory by Australia over Germany. My patriotic fervor aside, it's very difficult to get excited about a tournament in which every single contest is a blowout. I admit that I don't have the answer to this problem. The Commish proposed a system in which the top six seeds compete for three of the four semifinal positions and the bottom seven seeds compete for the final berth. While that would provide at least some decent early-round matchups, I'd be very upset to be on the fourth-best team and miss making the semis in favor of a team that may be nowhere near the same quality. Aside from the gap between the USA and the rest of the field, I think the differences will narrow over the next few years. I'd be in favor of another World Cup in four years. In the meantime, I'd love to see an annual four-team All-Star round robin in December among the top skaters in each WFTDA region.
Now, for a few "quick hits." A commenter doesn't think the organizers of the tournament should be allowed to call it the "World Cup," instead reserving that title for the soccer and rugby versions. Another thinks the event is diminished because Japan was excluded over compliance issues. First, I have a major problem with an organization as riddled with corruption as FIFA getting to declare the world champion of anything. Second, I believe that any tournament whose champion can legitimately make a claim to the title of best team in the world in its sport can rightfully be called the World Championhip. People take baseball, football, and other US-based sports to task for bestowing the title of "world champions." Can anyone legitimately argue that the best football (in the American sense of the word) team in any other country could beat the worst team in the NFL? Could even the national teams of Japan or Cuba beat the Yankees, Rangers, or Cardinals in a best-of-seven? No and no. Since no non-participating nation has a team that could rival the eventual champion USA, I have no problem with this being a "World Cup." As for the Japan argument, international competitions have rules and standards. If a country fails to comply, be it this event, the Olympics, or anything in between, that team should not be allowed to participate.
Well, that was a bit longer than expected, but it was nice to break through the writer's block. I hope that I haven't offended too many. I also hope that you all love me for my mind and my writing, but I wouldn't quibble if the ladies wanted to see me as a sex object as well.
(Best John McLaughlin voice) Issue One: What to make of the "20 Derby Girls to turn you on" and "20 Roller Derby Girls who will turn you on to the Sport" articles?
First, let me be very clear that the original (now deleted) post was an absolute piece of crap. It was merely a bunch of photos (unattributed ones at that) pulled from random places and accompanied by banal and pathetic captions. I'm not sure how widespread the site's viewership is, but I hope it is minimal. I doubt that I've said anything controversial thus far.
Now, here's where I may get some disagreement. I am not opposed to the purported aim of that post, but merely to the execution. It's time for me to come out of the closet and proudly be who I truly am. I have been a devoted fan of roller derby since I first saw a bout, and I am truly drawn to the athleticism and strategy involved. But you already knew that. You can't understand the full measure of my love for the sport, however, without one additional revelation: I like women. I mean, really, really like women. I like attractive women more than I do baseball, football, roller derby, and Murray Head's "One Night in Bangkok." I am pretty sure that I like them slightly more than I do water and air. I'm fairly certain that I was born this way.
It should not be surprising, then, to observe that most of my favorite skaters are not only very talented, but also very easy on the eyes. I admit that I have a mental ranking of the hottest skaters on some of my favorite teams (Cincy, Circle City, Windy, Denver, etc.). I don't believe in the slightest that highlighting the physical attractiveness of the athletes detracts from the public taking the sport seriously. In fact, I believe that it is a legitimate avenue to bring a more widespread fan base to the sport. After all, thousands of women drooling over Tom Brady have not managed to tarnish the NFL. Women who come to the ballpark to see David Wright or sit at the Jake in the "Grady's Ladies" section have grown to be true and more knowledgeable baseball fans.
It seems that roller derby has a split personality when it comes to this issue. The same folks who cheer the inclusion of a naked Suzy Hotrod in ESPN's magazine get offended when others "marginalize" the sport by paying attention to the "sex(y) sells" angle. There is a reason that old-school roller derby types referred to nice breasts as "tickets." As long as the fans who come to ogle are treated to a great athletic competition, the sport comes out ahead. I will never claim to be an expert on "empowerment" or women's issues in general, but I do not understand why anyone is offended to be thought attractive. Maybe it's just that I'm not much to look at, but I would be more than happy to be eyed amorously once in a while. So, I think that a well done "20 Sexiest Derby Girls" article in a mainstream publication or website would be a plus.
Enter the "Derby Deeds" website, which quickly moved to right the situation by providing a list of 20 skaters who would turn someone on to the sport of roller derby. Again, I found the intention better than the execution. First and foremost, is there a single person reading that website who is not already into roller derby? Beyond that, however, I do have some issues with the list. First, allow me to give due credit. The writers highlighted some excellent and underrated skaters (Begeman, Mouse, Four Closer, etc.). Also, many of the skaters shown were of the "clean-cut" variety. Here's where I get into trouble again, but I am not a fan of extensive tattoos, especially on women. I am fine with every person's right to self-expression and body decoration, but it just does nothing for me to see large, garish tattoos covering every surface. Disregarding for a moment my earlier point that non-derby fans (or future derby fans, as I like to think of them) don't read Derby Deeds, these are the images of the sport that will appeal to a wider, more mainstream audience. I have no problems rooting for the less traditional-looking athlete, in any sport, nor in appreciating their talents. Except for the NBA's collection of thugs, though, every major sport's most popular and marketable athletes are the clean-cut types. You don't see Aaron Rodgers, Derek Jeter, or Sidney Crosby sporting the tattoo sleeves and multiple visible piercings.
Since my praise for Derby Deeds devolved into a rant, there are a few more problems with the list. First, it's extremely LA-centric. Seriously, three different LA Derby Dolls, and another from Angel City? Add in the other California teams, and they're nearing half of the entire list. Also, some of the skaters were profiled by those who have rarely seen them skate. Would it be too much to solicit testimonials from more knowledgeable sources? The guy who wrote K Lethal's blurb has seen her once? While I certainly agree that she is immensely talented and aggressive, I had to laugh when he claimed that one of her great strengths was avoiding fouls. K Lethal does many things extremely well, but avoiding the box while wearing the star is not one of them. The inclusion of skaters in face paint also detracts from the list. What serious, mainstream sport features top athletes in full-face white paint? Finally, I know that any finite list will omit many great skaters, but no list of the top 20 anything in roller derby is complete without Jackie Daniels. If anyone saw her performance at NC Regionals this year and didn't come away a derby fan, I have no hope for that person's soul.
Issue Two: Pros and cons of the World Cup.
Many of my points are in response to those made by "Commissioner" Jerry Seltzer and commenters on his blog, so you might want to look at that here first. I have not had the chance to watch any of the action thus far, but there have been complaints that the venue is not "World Cup" caliber. I have not personally seen it. I agree that if at all possible, tournaments of this magnitude should be held in excellent arenas. The current realities of the sport, however, mean that such opportunities will not always exist. Simply look at the sites for some of the 2012 WFTDA Playoffs. The North Central Region will bout in Chicago? Indy? Cincinnati? Milwaukee? Cleveland? St. Louis? No, try the sporting mecca of Niagara Falls, more than 250 miles from the nearest team that made the 2011 NC field. Of course, I'd love to see the World Cup played in Chicago, Seattle, or another city with a top roller derby venue. But, I'd rather the skaters have this opportunity in a subpar arena than nowhere at all.
One major problem is the competitiveness of the matchups. When Team USA's Heather Juska posted about the World Cup groupings, I stated that I would take the USA minus 300 points against either of its two competitors. The team's first bout resulted in a 377-8 drubbing of New Zealand. The closest bout of day one was an 83-point victory by Australia over Germany. My patriotic fervor aside, it's very difficult to get excited about a tournament in which every single contest is a blowout. I admit that I don't have the answer to this problem. The Commish proposed a system in which the top six seeds compete for three of the four semifinal positions and the bottom seven seeds compete for the final berth. While that would provide at least some decent early-round matchups, I'd be very upset to be on the fourth-best team and miss making the semis in favor of a team that may be nowhere near the same quality. Aside from the gap between the USA and the rest of the field, I think the differences will narrow over the next few years. I'd be in favor of another World Cup in four years. In the meantime, I'd love to see an annual four-team All-Star round robin in December among the top skaters in each WFTDA region.
Now, for a few "quick hits." A commenter doesn't think the organizers of the tournament should be allowed to call it the "World Cup," instead reserving that title for the soccer and rugby versions. Another thinks the event is diminished because Japan was excluded over compliance issues. First, I have a major problem with an organization as riddled with corruption as FIFA getting to declare the world champion of anything. Second, I believe that any tournament whose champion can legitimately make a claim to the title of best team in the world in its sport can rightfully be called the World Championhip. People take baseball, football, and other US-based sports to task for bestowing the title of "world champions." Can anyone legitimately argue that the best football (in the American sense of the word) team in any other country could beat the worst team in the NFL? Could even the national teams of Japan or Cuba beat the Yankees, Rangers, or Cardinals in a best-of-seven? No and no. Since no non-participating nation has a team that could rival the eventual champion USA, I have no problem with this being a "World Cup." As for the Japan argument, international competitions have rules and standards. If a country fails to comply, be it this event, the Olympics, or anything in between, that team should not be allowed to participate.
Well, that was a bit longer than expected, but it was nice to break through the writer's block. I hope that I haven't offended too many. I also hope that you all love me for my mind and my writing, but I wouldn't quibble if the ladies wanted to see me as a sex object as well.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes
The trip this past weekend was a new one. I paid my first visit to Indianapolis, to see the Circle City Derby Girls (CCDG) play a home doubleheader. I had seen Circle City play three times before: they played at the Cincinnati Rollergirls' Silent Lambs, then their rookies played an exhibition bout here in Toledo, then earlier this season, they played here against Glass City for a full bout. I have really enjoyed watching them skate in the past, and I searched in vain for an opportunity to visit them in Indy last season. Saturday's bout happened to fit into my travel schedule (between two weekends in Cincy), and I was excited for the opportunity to visit the Forum at Fishers.
I dropped off my dog for her overnight play date and got on the road Saturday morning. I made my way across to Indiana and down I-69 to Fort Wayne to pick up my fraternity brother, Mark, who was joining me for the festivities. He was not a derby virgin, having seen a few bouts in Fort Wayne, so it wasn't necessary for me to explain the rules and such. We caught up a bit as we made a smooth drive the rest of the way to our hotel. Upon our arrival, we were told that the hotel had experienced a power outage, and that only some of the power was back online. Namely, the elevator and TV/Internet were completely down, and each guest room had power to either the main living area or the bathroom, but not both. Mark volunteered to go upstairs and see which one our proposed room had, and he reported power in the main room, so we opted to finish checking in. We were cautiously optimistic that by the time we returned, eight hours or so later, things would be fixed.
We had decided to have dinner at Cheeseburger in Paradise before the bout. I am a big Jimmy Buffett fan, having seen him in concert more than a dozen times and in four different cities. I did visit his other restaurant chain, Margaritaville Cafe, on a drive down to Key West when I was a law student in Miami. I always wanted to eat at Cheeseburger in Paradise while on one of my many visits to Chicago, but it's pretty far out in the suburbs, and just not worth the drive. The decor was pretty much what one would expect from a Buffett eatery, with beach chairs in the waiting area and a tiki bar in the middle. I was a bit surprised by the music, however. I expected either an all-Jimmy playlist or the Radio Margaritaville satellite radio station. Instead, we got a Buffett song every fifth or sixth tune, and some off-mood choices (Nickelback, Run-DMC) thrown in among various country songs. At least the restaurant lived up to its name when it came to my entree. I opted for the "Chesapeake Bay Burger," which is topped with a medley of cheeses, lump crab meat, and crab-and-spinach dip. It and the fries were excellent, and we polished everything off in record time.
We made one more quick stop on the way to the Forum at Fishers, knowing that we could make the 6pm "doors open" with a few minutes to spare. Upon pulling into the parking lot, it seemed like there were quite a few cars there over an hour before the first bout. When I opened the car door, I could hear the garbled sounds of a PA system bleeding through the wall. What kind of place runs PA announcements before the doors even open? At that moment, I got a sinking feeling. Had I actually checked the time on the tickets, or did I just assume the CRG schedule of doors at 6pm, bout at 7pm? A quick look at the tickets confirmed that I had been incorrect, and we were glad that we at least arrived before the action started.
We made our way into the Forum, which is primarily an ice hockey arena. The wall behind the team benches was covered with hockey banners, while a set of bleachers five or six rows high sat behind the boards, running the entire length of the backstretch. Ample space for suicide seating surrounded the track, especially in the "end zones," where another four or five rows of folding chairs were available behind it. As we walked in and made our way around the outside of the track, the first and most obvious thing I noticed was the air conditioning. After the previous week's sauna at the Cincinnati Gardens, it felt great. We made our way to my favorite derby-watching position, turn three, but had to settle for seats in the second row of chairs. I have done suicide seating at a number of venues before, but not recently, and my legs and back begged to be spared three hours sitting on the floor. I readied my scorebook to take notes, while Mark wandered off to get programs and a frozen custard cone.
Before I move on with the bout recaps, it's disclaimer time! I am merely a fan, not a journalist. While I do watch the action carefully, I'm very likely to mess up a detail here and there. A few factors made my job difficult this time, mainly difficulty reading numbers on jerseys (especially the Dire Skates), and some scoreboard issues (points suddenly appearing from previous jams, the fact that it was more or less behind me). And now, on with the recaps.
*** The evening's first bout featured the homestanding Circle City Derby Girls (CCDG) Party Crashers (B-Team) versus the Dire Skates of Richmond, Indiana. Cassie Khaos took the line for CCDG, while Foxy Hellrider opposed her in the first jam. Circle City's Megan Enemies provided an excellent assist to allow Cassie a clear lane on the inside, and the resulting grand slam gave CCDG a 5-0 lead. Nova Blaze followed with a clean 4-0 for Circle City, and after a scoreless jam, Dire jammer Maniac Jack was sent to the penalty box. The Party Crashers' pack did an excellent job slowing things down, enabling Cassie to collect two grand slams before she went to the sin bin herself. The Dire Skates managed three points after the jammer switch, and the score stood at 19-3 in favor of CCDG.
*** Foxy Hellrider started the next jam all by herself, but she apparently didn't realize that her pack had given her a "no pack" kneeling start. She stood by as the pack inched ahead, and her advantage slowly ticked away. A good opportunity for the ladies from Richmond turned into a scoreless jam. With 23 minutes remaining in the half, Nova Blaze again took the star for CCDG, going against Dire's RollHer Zombie. CCDG's Cherry Slapstick and Jackie Bauer provided a solid wall at the back, and Nova Blaze chewed up the open track en route to a 20-1 jam. Circle City's excellent pack play continued on the following jam, as it put on the brakes to force a 20-foot call and give jammer Wrecker Becker lead status on the way to a 14-0 result. CCDG's Strawberry Smackquiri threw a punishing block to keep Dire off the board, and Circle City's lead was 53-4.
*** The Dire Skates caught a break on the next jam, as Cassie Khaos was sent off on a major back block. With the help of a sharp assist by pivot Stubborn Itch, Dire picked up two grand slams. Unfortunately, any chance for Dire to keep the momentum was lost to yet another jammer penalty. Nova Blaze and Wrecker Becker started the next two jams unopposed, and CCDG picked up a combined 24-0. On the very next jam, Dire's Emily KickNsum took the star to the box, and Cassie Khaos called the jam quickly to give CCDG's next jammer a solo start. Circle City's pack took a knee, and a wall of four Dire skaters couldn't so much as slow Nova Blaze, who collected a pair of grand slams. With nine minutes to go in the half, the game was getting out of hand, and CCDG led, 90-14.
*** After a pair of scoreless jams, Jackie Bauer completely shut down the Dire jammer at the front of the pack, giving Nova Blaze a clean 6-0 jam. The next time out, Wrecker Becker took the jammer penalty for CCDG, but her pack (Nova Blaze, Bunnie Low-Browski, Dread Pirate Roberta, and Barb Dwyer) did an excellent job killing it off, allowing Dire a mere 2-0 victory. A pair of uneventful jams left the score 96-20 in favor of CCDG at the half.
*** The second half began with CCDG scoring 30 unanswered points over the first five jams. Foxy Hellrider then scored a 2-0 jam, significant because it was the only jam in which Nova Blaze lost the point differential (9 wins, 1 loss, 1 tie). The next three jams were a blur of penalties, and the score stood at CCDG 132, Dire 31, with 13 minutes remaining. Four mostly uneventful jams pushed the Circle City advantage to 108 before Dire's Necessary Roughness showed some nice speed and balance to win a 9-0 jam over CCDG's Megan Enemies. The Party Crashers took the next four jams by a total of 22-0, a stretch highlighted by Jackie Bauer picking up a grand slam in her first jam of the evening and Nova Blaze showing off some nifty jukes to add a 4-0 of her own. Jackie Bauer and RollHer Zombie tallied four points each as time expired, leaving CCDG with a 175-54 victory.
*** The Party Crashers used a three-jammer rotation for most of the bout. The most effective of them, and the bout co-MVP, was Nova Blaze. As previously mentioned, she won the point differential on nine of eleven jams, for a cumulative score of 68-5 in her favor. Nova showed nice speed and seemed equally comfortable racing by on the outside or picking her way through a congested pack. She had excellent balance and seemed to shrug off most of the hits from the Dire Skates' blockers. Perhaps most importantly, I don't believe she took the jammer's star to the penalty box even once. Nova even chipped in with some effective blocking when she wasn't wearing the star.
*** Wrecker Becker looked like the fastest skater on the track for this bout, and she also wasn't afraid to pound her way through an opposing wall a few times. She did take a few jammer penalties, but her teammates mostly bailed her out with some great penalty killing. Cassie Khaos had a few big jams, but also succumbed to the whistle a few times. Toward the end of the bout, both Jackie Bauer and Megan Enemies got into the action from the jammer line, taking the star twice each. While Megan was shut out in her attempts, Jackie acquitted herself well, winning one jam and tying the other.
*** Primarily for her blocking work, Jackie Bauer is my other co-MVP for the Party Crashers. She had a great combination of nimble feet for positional blocking and powerful shoulders to lay a big hit. Strawberry Smackquiri also received some consideration, based on her strong work at the back of the pack. Bunnie Low-Browski showed off some punishing hits, while Bona Contention seemed to be everywhere, doing a great job on both offensive and defensive pack play.
*** For the Dire Skates, Foxy Hellrider was tireless from the jammer line. She took the star on 13 occasions, and although she won only three of those, she showed good toughness and some nice moves. Aside from Foxy, Dire employed a very eclectic jammer corps, including RollHer Zombie, Emily KickNsum, Malice B. Stopless, Maniac Jack, Necessary Roughness, and Six Inch Killettos. The strange rotation left none of them truly able to establish a rhythm against tough CCDG packs. Dire's packs often seemed disorganized, and they had significant trouble keeping walls together. Unfortunately, the difficult-to-read numbers on Dire's jerseys made it very difficult for me to single out praiseworthy skaters within the packs.
*** After a short intermission, which featured a kids hockey contest and me voraciously downing a cake batter flavored custard cone, it was time for the second bout. The visiting Des Moines Derby Dames brought only eight skaters (maximum roster is 14) to clash with the CCDG Socialites (A-Team). While the Dames were outnumbered, they were by no means overmatched. CCDG's Roll-R-Damage took the first jam of the bout by a slim 1-0 margin over Des Moines' Cosmo Disco. For the next 16 minutes, it was all Des Moines. The aptly named Stella Italiana ("stella" means "star" in Italian) was buonissima in taking advantage of Circle City jammer Vivi Section's penalty. The Dames' pack moved like a precision timepiece, always in the right spot, and Stella flew around the track, at one point getting a hellacious shirt-whip from Show Stopper. The jam ended 24 points later.
*** From there, things fell into a pattern. The Des Moines pack would beat on the Circle City jammer until she took a penalty. Then, Des Moines would quickly call the jam and bring in Stella (who also skates for derby powerhouse Oly Rollers) to jam unopposed for the big power jam. On the third jam, the imposing Des Moines blocker Megger Bomb unleashed hit after punishing hit on petite CCDG jammer Liberty Spykes. Liberty eventually incurred a penalty for a track cut, and the Dames' Autopsy Turvey immediately called the jam. Then, Stella came in and scored an unopposed 23 points, bringing the CCDG deficit to 51-1 after just nine minutes of play.
*** CCDG's Robin Sock'em was the next jammer to head to the sin bin, but this time, her pack killed the penalty nicely. Faye Stunaway and Salacious T formed a sweet double bridge to prevent their front blockers from going past the 20-foot mark, and Kimmie S'more finished the action with an emphatic jammer take-out. Unfortunately, Roll-R-Damage went to the box on the very next jam, and the pattern repeated, with Stella scoring 9-0 on the ensuing power jam. Cosmo Disco then picked up nine points on two far-too-easy passes to the outside. I'm not certain that she was even touched on either scoring pass. Autopsy Turvey added another 11, as Stella did some nice blocking, forming a tough twosome at the back of the pack with MOAB to bottle up Liberty Spykes. Des Moines had scored 82 unanswered points to take a commanding lead midway through the first half.
*** Robin Sock'em came out for the next jam, and she finally put an end to the carnage, using her speed and nimble footwork to rack up nine points. Salacious T put a big hit on The Dames' Smallsbury Steak to keep her from getting through the pack, and Smallsbury eventually was sent to the box near the end of the jam. Roll-R-Damage started the next jam solo, but she was slowed by an excellent front wall. CCDG's Shock Hop sacrificed herself, drawing an obvious penalty in order to break up the wall and allow her teammate to score. Roll-R-Damage picked up eight points before being sent off herself, and Smallsbury Steak picked up nine after the jammer switch, putting the score at Des Moines 91, Circle City 18.
*** The next three jams were relatively uneventful, and Des Moines added to their lead with a cumulative 12-2 margin. On the ensuing jam, Roll-R-Damage was held back by a great front three-wall of Autopsy Turvey, MOAB, and Neuro Sis. Des Moines' jammer Cosmo Disco eventually took a trip to the sin bin, and Roll-R-Damage took a quick four points before calling it off. Vivi Section then had a chance to jam unopposed, but a great jammer take-out by MOAB left the jam scoreless. Cosmo Disco again came out to jam, racking up a grand slam against Liberty Spykes before a thunderous hit by Ionic Bondage sent her hard to the floor on the outside. Cosmo was shaken up, and the jam was called for her to receive some medical attention. She would not return to jam for the remainder of the night, but I'm not sure if she returned as a blocker. A quick 3-2 jam for Des Moines closed the half at 111-26.
*** The second half was dramatically different from the first. Big point totals for individual jams were rare, and the teams seemed very evenly matched. After Autopsy Turvey started things off with a quick 4-0, Robin Sock'em took the line for CCDG against Show Stopper. Both packs did some nice work, but Faye Stunaway cleared out blocker Stella Italiana to give Robin lead jammer status, which she converted into a grand slam.
*** A pair of low-scoring jams passed, and then Roll-R-Damage lined up against Stella. The CCDG pack had made a major adjustment at halftime. Throughout the first half, Circle City had tried to set up two-walls, but mostly ended up as four individual blockers. Stella, with her explosive speed and quick cuts, danced through time and time again. In the second half, CCDG went primarily to three-walls and kept them together, leaving Stella fewer gaps and knocking her down or out of bounds more consistently. The strategy change worked well in this instance, as Stella took the star to the penalty box. Circle City's pack displayed a textbook example of trapping a blocker and slowing the pack, giving Roll-R-Damage a chance to put ten points on the board. That 10-2 result was the highest point total for any jam in the second half, and it shrunk the deficit to 120-42.
*** After Stella took a quick, sharp 4-0 jam, Vivi Section put together her best jam of the bout. Vivi was extremely quick and decisive in and out of her cuts, generally going against three blockers with no assists from her pack. On her first scoring pass, she squeezed past the final Des Moines blocker on the outside, tip-toeing by to stay just to the inside of the boundary. Thanks to her great moves and balance, she won the jam 8-0. A series of forgettable jams then left the score at 130-58 in favor of Des Moines, with 15 minutes remaining.
*** From there, neither team managed to score more than five points on a single jam. The most exciting moment of this final portion of the game came when jammer Robin Sock'em took a strong whip in turn two, only to be thrown into the business end of a punishing hit. Over the last 15 minutes, CCDG outscored their opponent by a slim 30-24. The final score was Des Moines 154, Circle City 88.
*** Circle City employed a four-jammer rotation throughout the bout. While it's a close call, I decided on Robin Sock'em as my co-MVP for the Socialites. Robin won the point differential on six of her ten jams, including five of six in the second half. She wasn't the fastest jammer on the track, but she was extremely tough, and she seemed to have an edge in the mental game. Robin made smart decisions and yielded only a single, low-scoring power jam via jammer penalty. This quiet consistency earned her the nod as the top jammer for her squad.
*** Roll-R-Damage was the same fast, strong, and aggressive skater I remembered from the bout against Glass City. While she did get out of control once in a while, her passion for the sport made it easy to see why she's a crowd favorite. In terms of pure, all-around talent, she may well be the best in her league. Vivi Section had an up-and-down game, but once her team got it together in the second half, she proved easily the equal of her talented opponents. Like most of the Socialites jammers, her stature makes her dependent on great pack work at times, but she also showed the skill to take control of a jam on her own when necessary. Liberty Spykes had difficulty getting on track, as she was consistently battered by the excellent Des Moines blockers. She has excellent speed, and she was able to keep pace with Stella Italiana on the open track, but Liberty often found herself stranded at the back of the pack.
*** Quite a few blockers turned in noteworthy performances for CCDG. Chief among them was my other co-MVP, Faye Stunaway. Faye has good size and speed, and she's certainly able to send an opponent into the suicide seats. Her greatest attribute by far, however, is her derby acumen. She is one of the smartest skaters I have seen, and she always seems to see things develop just before others do. So many times in this bout, she used her good lateral quickness to slide into an opening, shutting down an opponent's lane or providing an assist just when her jammer needed it.
*** Other effective Circle City blockers included Salacious T, who provided the muscle with some powerful hits. Trouble Helix helped in dishing out the pain. Kimmie S'more joined in the hit parade, while Lady Miss Bier and Ionic Bondage quietly turned in good performances, especially in the second half.
*** For Des Moines, Stella Italiana was clearly the, er... star. She was lightning fast and had the shifty moves of a star running back. Autopsy Turvey and Cosmo Disco were also impressive with the star. On the blocking side, I was extremely impressed by Megger Bomb, who has excellent quickness to go with her size and power. MOAB also did some excellent work in the pack, joining Show Stopper in shutting down the Circle City attack in the first half.
After the bouts, we made the short trek over to Claude and Annie's for the after-party. It was a bit slow at first, and we grabbed a booth and ordered some appetizers. I had told Mark on the way down that I would not likely sing anything at karaoke, but held out the possibility of doing Biz Markie's "Just a Friend." He took a song list and jotted a few down as I scanned the door for skaters with whom I wanted to chat. He took his slips up to the DJ, and within a few minutes, he was earning his title as the white man with the least rhythm in the world. He stole the only song I would have considered, and I decided to spare the crowd my attempts at singing.
I spotted Roll-R-Damage and sent a drink her way. She was very gracious and friendly when she made her way over to say hello. She remembered the good things I had to say about her in an earlier post, and I really enjoyed talking to her. I used the same tactic to meet both Vivi Section and Robin Sock'em, both of whom were very sweet and willing to share their insights. As I waded into the crowd near the Karaoke stage, I managed to catch up with both of the Circle City Skaters I had previously met, Faye Stunaway and Liberty Spykes. Both of them were as bright and charming as I remembered. Just before we paid our tab, I managed to catch up with Nova Blaze. We had a short, but fun, conversation. I definitely look forward to seeing all of them again, and hopefully meeting more, when I return to Indy for North Central Regionals this fall.
We left the bar and made the short drive back to our hotel, where power had been fully restored. A bit of channel surfing closed out the evening, and we decided to sleep in before heading out of town. We weren't ready to leave the hotel until after 11am, so we discussed lunch options. I was secretly thinking I'd be more than happy to go back to Cheeseburger in Paradise, when Mark unexpectedly suggested just that. After a good lunch, I took him back to Fort Wayne and continued my easy drive home to Toledo.
So, I'll finish with my overall impressions of the trip.
THE GOOD:
*** The roller derby action. Granted, the teams weren't on the level of many others I've seen this year (Rose, Denver, Cincy, Windy, and such), but there were excellent skills on display. The caliber of play was strong, much better than I'd expect of WFTDA Apprentice leagues. Circle City has grown so much in terms of their play since I first saw them, and I truly believe this is a team on the rise.
*** The "cool" parts of the venue. Namely, the air conditioning and the outstanding frozen custard.
*** The (minimal) between-bout activities. The only non-derby activity was the kids having a hockey shooting contest. The absence of filler allowed for two full 60-minute bouts.
*** The charity. Paws and Think connects at-risk people with at-risk pets, and it was nice to see them with a table and a presence at the bout. I was very disappointed at the prior week's CRG bout when I brought a number of games and items for the Yellow Ribbon Project, only to find nothing but a small, unmanned box on the floor of one concourse.
*** The after-party. This was very different from my two most recent after-parties, the overpriced dance club at Wild West Showdown and the semi-private room and general cliquishness (I'm not sure that's a word) of Cincinnati. The bar had good munchies, and the skaters were much more willing to engage with fans than at any other I've attended. Although I'm not generally a fan of karaoke, it seemed to set a good tone for getting people to mingle and enjoy the evening. Of course, the best part was getting to talk with some great skaters and fun people!
*** The food at Cheeseburger in Paradise. Mmmmm, Chesapeake Bay Burger.
THE BAD:
*** The venue in general. I've been spoiled by the bigger crowds and more derby-centric set-ups of places like the Cincinnati Gardens, the UIC Pavilion, and even Toledo's Seagate Centre. By my count, there couldn't have been more than 200-300 fans in attendance, and they weren't too vocal for the most part. Also, the hockey scoreboard was tough to see from my end of the room, and it couldn't manage the triple-digit scores common to roller derby.
*** The lack of a meet-and-greet / autograph session at the venue after the bout. Circle City should take a cue from CRG on this, as this type of thing would really help to build the fan base (especially families).
*** The fact that smoking is allowed inside Claude and Annie's. I've come to appreciate states such as Ohio and Michigan, where I can go to a bar and not inhale smoke all night.
*** The music at Cheeseburger in Paradise.
THE UGLY:
*** Mark's rendition of "Just a Friend" at karaoke.
THE FINAL VERDICT: In the end, this roller derby trip was unlike any other I'd experienced, in ways good, bad, and just different. I continued to be more impressed by Circle City as a league, and I'm certainly willing to plan one or more trips to see them skate next season. I know that Indy has multiple derby leagues, but I hope local fans come out in greater numbers to support CCDG in future bouts. Thanks to the Circle City Derby Girls for inviting me down!
(Edited by Ruby)
I dropped off my dog for her overnight play date and got on the road Saturday morning. I made my way across to Indiana and down I-69 to Fort Wayne to pick up my fraternity brother, Mark, who was joining me for the festivities. He was not a derby virgin, having seen a few bouts in Fort Wayne, so it wasn't necessary for me to explain the rules and such. We caught up a bit as we made a smooth drive the rest of the way to our hotel. Upon our arrival, we were told that the hotel had experienced a power outage, and that only some of the power was back online. Namely, the elevator and TV/Internet were completely down, and each guest room had power to either the main living area or the bathroom, but not both. Mark volunteered to go upstairs and see which one our proposed room had, and he reported power in the main room, so we opted to finish checking in. We were cautiously optimistic that by the time we returned, eight hours or so later, things would be fixed.
We had decided to have dinner at Cheeseburger in Paradise before the bout. I am a big Jimmy Buffett fan, having seen him in concert more than a dozen times and in four different cities. I did visit his other restaurant chain, Margaritaville Cafe, on a drive down to Key West when I was a law student in Miami. I always wanted to eat at Cheeseburger in Paradise while on one of my many visits to Chicago, but it's pretty far out in the suburbs, and just not worth the drive. The decor was pretty much what one would expect from a Buffett eatery, with beach chairs in the waiting area and a tiki bar in the middle. I was a bit surprised by the music, however. I expected either an all-Jimmy playlist or the Radio Margaritaville satellite radio station. Instead, we got a Buffett song every fifth or sixth tune, and some off-mood choices (Nickelback, Run-DMC) thrown in among various country songs. At least the restaurant lived up to its name when it came to my entree. I opted for the "Chesapeake Bay Burger," which is topped with a medley of cheeses, lump crab meat, and crab-and-spinach dip. It and the fries were excellent, and we polished everything off in record time.
We made one more quick stop on the way to the Forum at Fishers, knowing that we could make the 6pm "doors open" with a few minutes to spare. Upon pulling into the parking lot, it seemed like there were quite a few cars there over an hour before the first bout. When I opened the car door, I could hear the garbled sounds of a PA system bleeding through the wall. What kind of place runs PA announcements before the doors even open? At that moment, I got a sinking feeling. Had I actually checked the time on the tickets, or did I just assume the CRG schedule of doors at 6pm, bout at 7pm? A quick look at the tickets confirmed that I had been incorrect, and we were glad that we at least arrived before the action started.
We made our way into the Forum, which is primarily an ice hockey arena. The wall behind the team benches was covered with hockey banners, while a set of bleachers five or six rows high sat behind the boards, running the entire length of the backstretch. Ample space for suicide seating surrounded the track, especially in the "end zones," where another four or five rows of folding chairs were available behind it. As we walked in and made our way around the outside of the track, the first and most obvious thing I noticed was the air conditioning. After the previous week's sauna at the Cincinnati Gardens, it felt great. We made our way to my favorite derby-watching position, turn three, but had to settle for seats in the second row of chairs. I have done suicide seating at a number of venues before, but not recently, and my legs and back begged to be spared three hours sitting on the floor. I readied my scorebook to take notes, while Mark wandered off to get programs and a frozen custard cone.
Before I move on with the bout recaps, it's disclaimer time! I am merely a fan, not a journalist. While I do watch the action carefully, I'm very likely to mess up a detail here and there. A few factors made my job difficult this time, mainly difficulty reading numbers on jerseys (especially the Dire Skates), and some scoreboard issues (points suddenly appearing from previous jams, the fact that it was more or less behind me). And now, on with the recaps.
*** The evening's first bout featured the homestanding Circle City Derby Girls (CCDG) Party Crashers (B-Team) versus the Dire Skates of Richmond, Indiana. Cassie Khaos took the line for CCDG, while Foxy Hellrider opposed her in the first jam. Circle City's Megan Enemies provided an excellent assist to allow Cassie a clear lane on the inside, and the resulting grand slam gave CCDG a 5-0 lead. Nova Blaze followed with a clean 4-0 for Circle City, and after a scoreless jam, Dire jammer Maniac Jack was sent to the penalty box. The Party Crashers' pack did an excellent job slowing things down, enabling Cassie to collect two grand slams before she went to the sin bin herself. The Dire Skates managed three points after the jammer switch, and the score stood at 19-3 in favor of CCDG.
*** Foxy Hellrider started the next jam all by herself, but she apparently didn't realize that her pack had given her a "no pack" kneeling start. She stood by as the pack inched ahead, and her advantage slowly ticked away. A good opportunity for the ladies from Richmond turned into a scoreless jam. With 23 minutes remaining in the half, Nova Blaze again took the star for CCDG, going against Dire's RollHer Zombie. CCDG's Cherry Slapstick and Jackie Bauer provided a solid wall at the back, and Nova Blaze chewed up the open track en route to a 20-1 jam. Circle City's excellent pack play continued on the following jam, as it put on the brakes to force a 20-foot call and give jammer Wrecker Becker lead status on the way to a 14-0 result. CCDG's Strawberry Smackquiri threw a punishing block to keep Dire off the board, and Circle City's lead was 53-4.
*** The Dire Skates caught a break on the next jam, as Cassie Khaos was sent off on a major back block. With the help of a sharp assist by pivot Stubborn Itch, Dire picked up two grand slams. Unfortunately, any chance for Dire to keep the momentum was lost to yet another jammer penalty. Nova Blaze and Wrecker Becker started the next two jams unopposed, and CCDG picked up a combined 24-0. On the very next jam, Dire's Emily KickNsum took the star to the box, and Cassie Khaos called the jam quickly to give CCDG's next jammer a solo start. Circle City's pack took a knee, and a wall of four Dire skaters couldn't so much as slow Nova Blaze, who collected a pair of grand slams. With nine minutes to go in the half, the game was getting out of hand, and CCDG led, 90-14.
*** After a pair of scoreless jams, Jackie Bauer completely shut down the Dire jammer at the front of the pack, giving Nova Blaze a clean 6-0 jam. The next time out, Wrecker Becker took the jammer penalty for CCDG, but her pack (Nova Blaze, Bunnie Low-Browski, Dread Pirate Roberta, and Barb Dwyer) did an excellent job killing it off, allowing Dire a mere 2-0 victory. A pair of uneventful jams left the score 96-20 in favor of CCDG at the half.
*** The second half began with CCDG scoring 30 unanswered points over the first five jams. Foxy Hellrider then scored a 2-0 jam, significant because it was the only jam in which Nova Blaze lost the point differential (9 wins, 1 loss, 1 tie). The next three jams were a blur of penalties, and the score stood at CCDG 132, Dire 31, with 13 minutes remaining. Four mostly uneventful jams pushed the Circle City advantage to 108 before Dire's Necessary Roughness showed some nice speed and balance to win a 9-0 jam over CCDG's Megan Enemies. The Party Crashers took the next four jams by a total of 22-0, a stretch highlighted by Jackie Bauer picking up a grand slam in her first jam of the evening and Nova Blaze showing off some nifty jukes to add a 4-0 of her own. Jackie Bauer and RollHer Zombie tallied four points each as time expired, leaving CCDG with a 175-54 victory.
*** The Party Crashers used a three-jammer rotation for most of the bout. The most effective of them, and the bout co-MVP, was Nova Blaze. As previously mentioned, she won the point differential on nine of eleven jams, for a cumulative score of 68-5 in her favor. Nova showed nice speed and seemed equally comfortable racing by on the outside or picking her way through a congested pack. She had excellent balance and seemed to shrug off most of the hits from the Dire Skates' blockers. Perhaps most importantly, I don't believe she took the jammer's star to the penalty box even once. Nova even chipped in with some effective blocking when she wasn't wearing the star.
*** Wrecker Becker looked like the fastest skater on the track for this bout, and she also wasn't afraid to pound her way through an opposing wall a few times. She did take a few jammer penalties, but her teammates mostly bailed her out with some great penalty killing. Cassie Khaos had a few big jams, but also succumbed to the whistle a few times. Toward the end of the bout, both Jackie Bauer and Megan Enemies got into the action from the jammer line, taking the star twice each. While Megan was shut out in her attempts, Jackie acquitted herself well, winning one jam and tying the other.
*** Primarily for her blocking work, Jackie Bauer is my other co-MVP for the Party Crashers. She had a great combination of nimble feet for positional blocking and powerful shoulders to lay a big hit. Strawberry Smackquiri also received some consideration, based on her strong work at the back of the pack. Bunnie Low-Browski showed off some punishing hits, while Bona Contention seemed to be everywhere, doing a great job on both offensive and defensive pack play.
*** For the Dire Skates, Foxy Hellrider was tireless from the jammer line. She took the star on 13 occasions, and although she won only three of those, she showed good toughness and some nice moves. Aside from Foxy, Dire employed a very eclectic jammer corps, including RollHer Zombie, Emily KickNsum, Malice B. Stopless, Maniac Jack, Necessary Roughness, and Six Inch Killettos. The strange rotation left none of them truly able to establish a rhythm against tough CCDG packs. Dire's packs often seemed disorganized, and they had significant trouble keeping walls together. Unfortunately, the difficult-to-read numbers on Dire's jerseys made it very difficult for me to single out praiseworthy skaters within the packs.
*** After a short intermission, which featured a kids hockey contest and me voraciously downing a cake batter flavored custard cone, it was time for the second bout. The visiting Des Moines Derby Dames brought only eight skaters (maximum roster is 14) to clash with the CCDG Socialites (A-Team). While the Dames were outnumbered, they were by no means overmatched. CCDG's Roll-R-Damage took the first jam of the bout by a slim 1-0 margin over Des Moines' Cosmo Disco. For the next 16 minutes, it was all Des Moines. The aptly named Stella Italiana ("stella" means "star" in Italian) was buonissima in taking advantage of Circle City jammer Vivi Section's penalty. The Dames' pack moved like a precision timepiece, always in the right spot, and Stella flew around the track, at one point getting a hellacious shirt-whip from Show Stopper. The jam ended 24 points later.
*** From there, things fell into a pattern. The Des Moines pack would beat on the Circle City jammer until she took a penalty. Then, Des Moines would quickly call the jam and bring in Stella (who also skates for derby powerhouse Oly Rollers) to jam unopposed for the big power jam. On the third jam, the imposing Des Moines blocker Megger Bomb unleashed hit after punishing hit on petite CCDG jammer Liberty Spykes. Liberty eventually incurred a penalty for a track cut, and the Dames' Autopsy Turvey immediately called the jam. Then, Stella came in and scored an unopposed 23 points, bringing the CCDG deficit to 51-1 after just nine minutes of play.
*** CCDG's Robin Sock'em was the next jammer to head to the sin bin, but this time, her pack killed the penalty nicely. Faye Stunaway and Salacious T formed a sweet double bridge to prevent their front blockers from going past the 20-foot mark, and Kimmie S'more finished the action with an emphatic jammer take-out. Unfortunately, Roll-R-Damage went to the box on the very next jam, and the pattern repeated, with Stella scoring 9-0 on the ensuing power jam. Cosmo Disco then picked up nine points on two far-too-easy passes to the outside. I'm not certain that she was even touched on either scoring pass. Autopsy Turvey added another 11, as Stella did some nice blocking, forming a tough twosome at the back of the pack with MOAB to bottle up Liberty Spykes. Des Moines had scored 82 unanswered points to take a commanding lead midway through the first half.
*** Robin Sock'em came out for the next jam, and she finally put an end to the carnage, using her speed and nimble footwork to rack up nine points. Salacious T put a big hit on The Dames' Smallsbury Steak to keep her from getting through the pack, and Smallsbury eventually was sent to the box near the end of the jam. Roll-R-Damage started the next jam solo, but she was slowed by an excellent front wall. CCDG's Shock Hop sacrificed herself, drawing an obvious penalty in order to break up the wall and allow her teammate to score. Roll-R-Damage picked up eight points before being sent off herself, and Smallsbury Steak picked up nine after the jammer switch, putting the score at Des Moines 91, Circle City 18.
*** The next three jams were relatively uneventful, and Des Moines added to their lead with a cumulative 12-2 margin. On the ensuing jam, Roll-R-Damage was held back by a great front three-wall of Autopsy Turvey, MOAB, and Neuro Sis. Des Moines' jammer Cosmo Disco eventually took a trip to the sin bin, and Roll-R-Damage took a quick four points before calling it off. Vivi Section then had a chance to jam unopposed, but a great jammer take-out by MOAB left the jam scoreless. Cosmo Disco again came out to jam, racking up a grand slam against Liberty Spykes before a thunderous hit by Ionic Bondage sent her hard to the floor on the outside. Cosmo was shaken up, and the jam was called for her to receive some medical attention. She would not return to jam for the remainder of the night, but I'm not sure if she returned as a blocker. A quick 3-2 jam for Des Moines closed the half at 111-26.
*** The second half was dramatically different from the first. Big point totals for individual jams were rare, and the teams seemed very evenly matched. After Autopsy Turvey started things off with a quick 4-0, Robin Sock'em took the line for CCDG against Show Stopper. Both packs did some nice work, but Faye Stunaway cleared out blocker Stella Italiana to give Robin lead jammer status, which she converted into a grand slam.
*** A pair of low-scoring jams passed, and then Roll-R-Damage lined up against Stella. The CCDG pack had made a major adjustment at halftime. Throughout the first half, Circle City had tried to set up two-walls, but mostly ended up as four individual blockers. Stella, with her explosive speed and quick cuts, danced through time and time again. In the second half, CCDG went primarily to three-walls and kept them together, leaving Stella fewer gaps and knocking her down or out of bounds more consistently. The strategy change worked well in this instance, as Stella took the star to the penalty box. Circle City's pack displayed a textbook example of trapping a blocker and slowing the pack, giving Roll-R-Damage a chance to put ten points on the board. That 10-2 result was the highest point total for any jam in the second half, and it shrunk the deficit to 120-42.
*** After Stella took a quick, sharp 4-0 jam, Vivi Section put together her best jam of the bout. Vivi was extremely quick and decisive in and out of her cuts, generally going against three blockers with no assists from her pack. On her first scoring pass, she squeezed past the final Des Moines blocker on the outside, tip-toeing by to stay just to the inside of the boundary. Thanks to her great moves and balance, she won the jam 8-0. A series of forgettable jams then left the score at 130-58 in favor of Des Moines, with 15 minutes remaining.
*** From there, neither team managed to score more than five points on a single jam. The most exciting moment of this final portion of the game came when jammer Robin Sock'em took a strong whip in turn two, only to be thrown into the business end of a punishing hit. Over the last 15 minutes, CCDG outscored their opponent by a slim 30-24. The final score was Des Moines 154, Circle City 88.
*** Circle City employed a four-jammer rotation throughout the bout. While it's a close call, I decided on Robin Sock'em as my co-MVP for the Socialites. Robin won the point differential on six of her ten jams, including five of six in the second half. She wasn't the fastest jammer on the track, but she was extremely tough, and she seemed to have an edge in the mental game. Robin made smart decisions and yielded only a single, low-scoring power jam via jammer penalty. This quiet consistency earned her the nod as the top jammer for her squad.
*** Roll-R-Damage was the same fast, strong, and aggressive skater I remembered from the bout against Glass City. While she did get out of control once in a while, her passion for the sport made it easy to see why she's a crowd favorite. In terms of pure, all-around talent, she may well be the best in her league. Vivi Section had an up-and-down game, but once her team got it together in the second half, she proved easily the equal of her talented opponents. Like most of the Socialites jammers, her stature makes her dependent on great pack work at times, but she also showed the skill to take control of a jam on her own when necessary. Liberty Spykes had difficulty getting on track, as she was consistently battered by the excellent Des Moines blockers. She has excellent speed, and she was able to keep pace with Stella Italiana on the open track, but Liberty often found herself stranded at the back of the pack.
*** Quite a few blockers turned in noteworthy performances for CCDG. Chief among them was my other co-MVP, Faye Stunaway. Faye has good size and speed, and she's certainly able to send an opponent into the suicide seats. Her greatest attribute by far, however, is her derby acumen. She is one of the smartest skaters I have seen, and she always seems to see things develop just before others do. So many times in this bout, she used her good lateral quickness to slide into an opening, shutting down an opponent's lane or providing an assist just when her jammer needed it.
*** Other effective Circle City blockers included Salacious T, who provided the muscle with some powerful hits. Trouble Helix helped in dishing out the pain. Kimmie S'more joined in the hit parade, while Lady Miss Bier and Ionic Bondage quietly turned in good performances, especially in the second half.
*** For Des Moines, Stella Italiana was clearly the, er... star. She was lightning fast and had the shifty moves of a star running back. Autopsy Turvey and Cosmo Disco were also impressive with the star. On the blocking side, I was extremely impressed by Megger Bomb, who has excellent quickness to go with her size and power. MOAB also did some excellent work in the pack, joining Show Stopper in shutting down the Circle City attack in the first half.
After the bouts, we made the short trek over to Claude and Annie's for the after-party. It was a bit slow at first, and we grabbed a booth and ordered some appetizers. I had told Mark on the way down that I would not likely sing anything at karaoke, but held out the possibility of doing Biz Markie's "Just a Friend." He took a song list and jotted a few down as I scanned the door for skaters with whom I wanted to chat. He took his slips up to the DJ, and within a few minutes, he was earning his title as the white man with the least rhythm in the world. He stole the only song I would have considered, and I decided to spare the crowd my attempts at singing.
I spotted Roll-R-Damage and sent a drink her way. She was very gracious and friendly when she made her way over to say hello. She remembered the good things I had to say about her in an earlier post, and I really enjoyed talking to her. I used the same tactic to meet both Vivi Section and Robin Sock'em, both of whom were very sweet and willing to share their insights. As I waded into the crowd near the Karaoke stage, I managed to catch up with both of the Circle City Skaters I had previously met, Faye Stunaway and Liberty Spykes. Both of them were as bright and charming as I remembered. Just before we paid our tab, I managed to catch up with Nova Blaze. We had a short, but fun, conversation. I definitely look forward to seeing all of them again, and hopefully meeting more, when I return to Indy for North Central Regionals this fall.
We left the bar and made the short drive back to our hotel, where power had been fully restored. A bit of channel surfing closed out the evening, and we decided to sleep in before heading out of town. We weren't ready to leave the hotel until after 11am, so we discussed lunch options. I was secretly thinking I'd be more than happy to go back to Cheeseburger in Paradise, when Mark unexpectedly suggested just that. After a good lunch, I took him back to Fort Wayne and continued my easy drive home to Toledo.
So, I'll finish with my overall impressions of the trip.
THE GOOD:
*** The roller derby action. Granted, the teams weren't on the level of many others I've seen this year (Rose, Denver, Cincy, Windy, and such), but there were excellent skills on display. The caliber of play was strong, much better than I'd expect of WFTDA Apprentice leagues. Circle City has grown so much in terms of their play since I first saw them, and I truly believe this is a team on the rise.
*** The "cool" parts of the venue. Namely, the air conditioning and the outstanding frozen custard.
*** The (minimal) between-bout activities. The only non-derby activity was the kids having a hockey shooting contest. The absence of filler allowed for two full 60-minute bouts.
*** The charity. Paws and Think connects at-risk people with at-risk pets, and it was nice to see them with a table and a presence at the bout. I was very disappointed at the prior week's CRG bout when I brought a number of games and items for the Yellow Ribbon Project, only to find nothing but a small, unmanned box on the floor of one concourse.
*** The after-party. This was very different from my two most recent after-parties, the overpriced dance club at Wild West Showdown and the semi-private room and general cliquishness (I'm not sure that's a word) of Cincinnati. The bar had good munchies, and the skaters were much more willing to engage with fans than at any other I've attended. Although I'm not generally a fan of karaoke, it seemed to set a good tone for getting people to mingle and enjoy the evening. Of course, the best part was getting to talk with some great skaters and fun people!
*** The food at Cheeseburger in Paradise. Mmmmm, Chesapeake Bay Burger.
THE BAD:
*** The venue in general. I've been spoiled by the bigger crowds and more derby-centric set-ups of places like the Cincinnati Gardens, the UIC Pavilion, and even Toledo's Seagate Centre. By my count, there couldn't have been more than 200-300 fans in attendance, and they weren't too vocal for the most part. Also, the hockey scoreboard was tough to see from my end of the room, and it couldn't manage the triple-digit scores common to roller derby.
*** The lack of a meet-and-greet / autograph session at the venue after the bout. Circle City should take a cue from CRG on this, as this type of thing would really help to build the fan base (especially families).
*** The fact that smoking is allowed inside Claude and Annie's. I've come to appreciate states such as Ohio and Michigan, where I can go to a bar and not inhale smoke all night.
*** The music at Cheeseburger in Paradise.
THE UGLY:
*** Mark's rendition of "Just a Friend" at karaoke.
THE FINAL VERDICT: In the end, this roller derby trip was unlike any other I'd experienced, in ways good, bad, and just different. I continued to be more impressed by Circle City as a league, and I'm certainly willing to plan one or more trips to see them skate next season. I know that Indy has multiple derby leagues, but I hope local fans come out in greater numbers to support CCDG in future bouts. Thanks to the Circle City Derby Girls for inviting me down!
(Edited by Ruby)
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Gonna Make You Sweat
This past Saturday's trip was a quick down-and-back to Cincinnati to see the Cincinnati Rollergirls (CRG) host the Windy City Rollers (WCR) of Chicago. I admit that things got very steamy, and I didn't at all mind getting sweaty with dozens of attractive women. Unfortunately, it was just the high-90's temperatures and the lack of air conditioning at the Cincinnati Gardens. The drive down was uneventful, and I arrived around 6:15 for the 7pm bout. After stopping to chat with Trauma out on the concourse, I bought some tickets for the June 18th bout for friends, then used my season ticket to enter and head down to the floor seats. Despite the scoreboard issues I mentioned in previous posts (more on that later), I once again chose to sit in the first row at turn three, facing down the backstretch. I arrived too late to catch any of the other skaters before warm-ups, so I stopped by the textcast table to chat with Rabid Derby Fan Earl and retreated to my seat to set up my scorebook for the evening's notes. The introductions for the first bout were followed by a shaky rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner, and it was time for the action.
As always, let's start with the disclaimers: I am not a professional, just a fan. Although I watch the action closely, it is highly likely that I will credit the wrong person for something or be off on a detail or three. The uniforms of Windy City's Second Wind (impossible for fans to read the red numbers on light blue shirts) made things difficult, as did the lack of period and jam time on the scoreboard I could see. And now, on to the recap.
*** The evening's first bout was a battle of the B-Teams, with Cincy's Silent Lambs taking on Windy City's Second Wind. I was present for these teams' matchup last season at the UIC Pavilion in Chicago, in which WCR overpowered the Lambs. Based on those memories and the fact that the Lambs have lost a lot of talent and experience in the blocking ranks, I was just hoping the Lambs could avoid a blowout. The first four jams did not do much for my confidence, as Windy City scored in surgically precise single passes of fours and fives. The lone early highlight for the Lambs was an explosive jammer take out by Kitten Kicker as the third jam came to a close. Each of the four jammers in the Silent Lambs' rotation (Hop Devil, Hot Slice, Miss Print, and Cherry Choke) was shut out on her first turn with the star, and the Second Wind took a 17-0 lead.
*** WCR's Unicoroner looked primed to continue her team's dominance, putting a hellacious juke on CRG's Pistolwhippin Wendy. However, she was sent to the box soon thereafter, giving Cincy's Hop Devil a power jam opportunity. Hop Devil managed a grand slam, but the real story was Windy City's penalty killing. Tamikaze led the way with some outstanding work to keep Hop Devil slowed, and CRG lost a golden opportunity, merely matching WCR's five points on the jam. This was actually the first of four consecutive power jams overall (two for CRG, one for WCR, one for CRG).
*** In the very next jam, Miss Print took the jammer line with the Second Wind's Ska Face. Ska face got the early advantage, but CRG's Maime not only leveled her with a huge hit, but also drew a penalty on the Chicago jammer. Miss Print got to work immediately on the power jam, her pack keeping things nice and slow as she tallied two grand slams with some nice bursts of speed on the outside. The WCR lead stood at 26-15. Hot Slice took the star next for CRG, looking to keep the momentum going. Unfortunately, she took a major track cut, and WCR's Wreck N Shrew got to show what she could do on the power jam. A depleted CRG pack was no match for a smart and physical Second Wind contingent, which featured some outstanding assists by Tori Adore and Sunshine N Painbows. WCR posted a 19-0 jam and took a 30-point lead.
*** The momentum shifted yet again on the next jam, as Windy City's jammer went to the box, and Hop Devil posted an 11-0 power jam, cutting the deficit to 19 points with five minutes remaining in the half. That was truly the last time the outcome of the bout was in question, as Windy City reeled off three consecutive big jams to end the half, closing on a 28-0 run to lead by a score of 83-26.
*** As the skaters took to the track after their break, it was as though halftime never occurred. Ska Face and Wreck N Shrew picked up when they left off, starting the half with 9-0 and 10-0 jams, respectively. They were once again aided by some sharp offensive pack play, but poor number visibility prevents me from giving credit to any individual WCR blockers for it. As the Second Wind eased across the 100-point barrier, the Silent Lambs looked powerless to stop the onslaught. Nearly every time CRG attempted to build a wall, a Windy City blocker would appear and take just the right angle to break it wide open. CRG ended up trying to play a lot of one-on-one defense, and that's not a style of play that suits them well. Kitten Kicker had another nice hit on the Windy City jammer, but CRG were down 102-26 with 16 minutes remaining.
*** The Sient Lambs had one more push left in them, and some strong pack work kept Chicago's jammer in the pack as Hop Devil got lead jammer and a 4-2 jam win. Next, both teams featured players taking the star for the first time on the evening. WCR's Sunshine N Painbows took the jam 4-0 over CRG's Polly Rocket, as Kitten Kicker took (at least) her third trip to the sin bin, leaving a pack disadvantage for Cincy. Cherry Choke took lead jammer for the Lambs on the next jam, but despite some fine blocking by Iona Pare and Poppy Chulo, only managed a 4-4 tie. The teams reassembled, and WCR's Karmageddon took lead jammer. CRG's pack did a wonderful job recycling her, eventually forcing her to call it off scoreless. The Second Wind led, 112-34 with 11 minutes to play.
*** From there, it was all Windy City. Wreck N Shrew put up a 15-0 jam, as WCR pivot Mo Vengeance slammed Miss Print to the floor. On the next jam, Poppy Chulo, Bex Pistol, and Polly Rocket managed to keep a strong three-wall together at the back of the pack, springing Hop Devil as the lead jammer. Hop Devil could have called the jam with a small point advantage, but passed, leaving the Second Wind a slight 4-3 edge and a margin nearing 100 points. After a quick 4-0 for WCR, Mo Vengeance struck the death blow, making effortless laps with the star as her pack shut down Hot Slice for a 25-0 differential.
*** With only four minutes remaining and a 123-point gap, both teams continued to play hard. Tamikaze put up a 5-0 jam over Cherry Choke, thanks to great blocking by WCR's Red Zeppelin. On the evening's last jam, Hot Slice got the lead for CRG and managed to make a great move, going limbo-champion low to escape a Chicago blocker. Unfortunately, she was sent off soon after that, and the bout drew to a close. The final score was Windy City 170, Cincy 44.
*** For CRG, none of the four primary jammers found any consistent success against the fearsome Windy City packs. No Silent Lambs jammer scored more than seven points in non-power jams for the evening, and none won the score differential more often than she lost it. In fact, the entire CRG squad only won the point differential in four of 23 jams, only one of which was a non-power jam.
*** Even though Cincinnati's blockers lost many of the battles with WCR's packs, a few noteworthy performances stood out. I'll start with the bout MVP for the Silent Lambs, Poppy Chulo. Poppy showed the power and toughness to fight off some quick and powerful opponents, while often using her position as pivot to keep an overmatched CRG pack together. Bex Pistol played a strong all-around game, mixing it up inside some tight packs as well as using her quickness to establish and re-establish her position as WCR's strong offensive pack play splintered the Lambs' defense. Kitten Kicker provided some explosive hits that belie her slender frame. Unfortunately, these big one-on-one shots also lefther out of position on some occasions and led to numerous sojourns to the penalty box. I also noticed Maime and Iona Pare providing some good positional blocking.
*** For Windy City, there are plenty of kudos to go around. All three primary jammers (Ska Face, Wreck N Shrew, and Unicoroner) were very effective. By my count, a total of seven skaters jammed at least once for the Second Wind, and not a single one looked out of place. By far, however, I was most impressed by WCR's packs. I have never seen a B-Team play offense like that (and not many A-Teams). On only rare occasions could CRG keep a wall intact for more than a couple of seconds. WCR's blockers were seemingly never out of position, and they were also very skilled physically. The cream of the crop was Sunshine N Painbows, who has good size and exceptional speed. She could play for the A-Team of just about every other league I've seen. I was also very impressed by Ada Hatelace, Mel Content, and Mo Vengeance, to name just a few. Simply put, this is an outstanding team from top to bottom. If it were eligible for WFTDA ranking, I'd put the Second Wind no worse than 8th in the North Central Region.
*** After some between-bout stuff (marching band, mascot, cup pyramid contest) ended, it was time for the main event. Windy City's All-Stars (#1 in the WFTDA North Central Region, #9 in he DNN Power Rankings) were introduced, followed by CRG's Black Sheep (#5 WFTDA NC, #17 DNN). The Windy City All-Stars have never been defeated in NC Regional play, but the Black Sheep gave them one of their biggest scares to date in last year's regional tournament. While Windy City has continued to roll through 2011, CRG has looked lost at times. Obviously, I would have loved to see an upset here, but my realistic goal was for CRG to keep the margin within 50.
*** This bout started much like the first, with WCR playing for quick hitting jams. Jackie Daniels (in what would turn out to be her only jam of the night) took lead and called it at 4-0, thanks to nice work by WCR's Varla Vendetta, who recycled CRG jammer K Lethal. Athena Decrime put up a quick grand slam, as Deb Autry and Georgia on Yer Behind bottled up CRG's Hannah Ouchocinco at the back. On the next jam, Black Sheep blocker Ruff'n the Passer had a nice jammer take out to limit Varla Vendetta to a 1-0 advantage. K Lethal then broke through for lead jammer, but she ended up on the short end of a 4-3 jam.
*** Trauma came out to jam for CRG, and the her pack showed a tactic I had not seen from Cincy, taking a slow start and trying to create a wall at the back of the pack, just across the pivot line. Windy City jammer Zoe Trocious foiled the plan with a quick jab step and a hop right through the middle of a tiny gap in CRG's blockers. As she racked up three grand slams, Trauma was held in check by a strong WCR pack. The following jam was a battle of tall and slender (CRG's Wheezy) versus taller and slender (WCR's Ruth Enasia) at the jammer line. Wheezy had the early advantage, but she ended up taking the star to the penalty box. Black Sheep blocker Sk8r-Kinney did some outstanding one-on-one positional blocking to limit the damage, and CRG yielded a mere 5-4 edge to Windy City.
*** At the close of a quick 1-0 jam by K Lethal, WCR jammer Athena Decrime skated off to the box, leaving Hannah Ouchocinco on the line alone. The Black Sheep were pure poetry on the power jam. Hannah offered her patented, once-a-bout mega-juke to clear her first scoring pass, and Athena left the box only to return to it within seconds of hitting the track. The CRG pack did an excellent job trapping a blocker, and Hannah jumped the apex after turn one to complete another grand slam. The jam ended 15-0, and Windy City led 34-23 with 15 minutes to go in the half.
*** Wheezy started the next jam solo, but she was slowed when a blatant trip by WCR's Hoosier Mama just after turn two went uncalled. This allowed Athena Decrime to come out of the box and claim lead jammer status en route to a 4-0 WCR jam win. The next jam saw Zoe Trocious rack up 12 points and a fluid, strong CRG pack put the clamps on K Lethal, eventually frustrating her into taking a trip to the sin bin. Varla Vendetta started the next jam unopposed for Windy City, and Trauma put forth an heroic individual effort to limit the damage. Trauma forced not one, but two track cuts on Varla, the latter of which sent her to the box and prompted a jammer switch. On K Lethal's scoring pass, she received a phenomenal whip from Trauma that allowed her to zip through on a sweet inside pass.
*** With the score at WCR 58, CRG 32, the Black Sheep received a golden opportunity to turn the tide. Hannah started the jam unopposed, and WCR's Varla Vendetta was sent off again on a track cut only seconds after she re-entered the action. Hannah got a quick four points, then called it to give Wheezy a solo start on the following jam. The Windy City pack was up to the task, with Deb Autry doing some excellent individual work on the penalty kill. Trauma and Karma Krash eventually freed the CRG jammer with some nice assists, but CRG only picked up five points. A couple of uneventful jams brought the score to 58-42 in favor of WCR. Wheezy then showed remarkable speed and moves on her initial pass, while Sk8 Crime and Sk8r-Kinney set up a great wall at the back to strand Ruth Enasia. CRG had reduced the margin to a mere 11.
*** The next jam was truly the turning point in the bout. With just enough time remaining for one jam, K Lethal was sent to the penalty box, leaving Athena Decrime with a power jam. Windy City's Sargentina absolutely pulverized Cincy's Candy Kickass with a huge shoulder hit, and an already small CRG pack got downright lonely. WCR's pack trapped a blocker and brought things to a near-standstill, as Athena skated laps. By the time the jam ended, WCR had posted a 25-0 score, and the Chicagoans took an 83-47 lead into halftime.
*** The second half began with Windy City scoring 12 unanswered points over four jams. On one of them, the WCR jammer was knocked to the infield near turn three, stood there for a moment, then stepped back into play past turn four, well ahead of the CRG blockers. She realized her mistake and froze, waiting to be called on the major track cut, but no call was forthcoming. The official looked at her, and dismissively waved her back onto the track. Had it been a no-call, it would have been amazing enough, but the zebra seemed to say "It's fine. We just won't call the most obvious track cut ever." This is the same official, mind you, who missed the obvious trip mentioned earlier, even though it was directly in front of her. CRG lost a golden opportunity to close the gap with a power jam.
*** The Black Sheep finally broke into the scoring column on the fifth jam of the half. Sk8r-Kinney did some great work against Windy City jammer Zoe Trocious, first with one-on-one blocking at the front, and then in a nice two-skater waterfall with Nuk'em. Hannah took lead jammer and scored a grand slam to bring the deficit to 43 points with 24 minutes remaining. CRG quickly squandered that momentum, however, as Wheezy was called on a phantom track cut (guess which ref?) and sent on a one-minute sabbatical while wearing the star. Windy City won the jam, 11-0. The next six jams were rather uneventful, resulting in a cumulative score of 7-0 for WCR. One thing that did happen is that a very blatant multiple-player block by WCR against Hannah (right in front of me in turn three) was not called by... wait for it... the very same official.
*** Windy City racked up a 32-1 advantage over the next four jams, highlighted by Beth Amphetamine's 20-pointer. Hannah bounced back to win her next jam, 12-8. CRG then got back-to-back power jams, courtesy of Beth Amphetamine's shuttle run to the penalty box, and Wheezy and K Lethal picked up 17 points to WCR's one over that span. This brought the WCR's lead to 154-82, but with only three minutes on the clock, this one was not in doubt.
*** On the penultimate jam of the night, Zoe Trocious picked up a 10-0, as her teammate Deb Autry made a very smart play. She saw CRG's Jungle Lacy skating clockwise to return to the pack and blasted directly into her, getting the big hit and sending Lacy off to the box for the clockwise block. Hannah drew a penalty close to the end of that jam, and Athena Decrime lined up solo with a minute on the clock and an 82-point lead. For some reason, Windy City decided to run up the score in that situation, rather than just getting lead jammer and skating in circles until the clock was all zeroes. Jungle Lacy came out of nowhere to absolutely blast Athena, and a 14-1 jam put the final at Windy City 178, Cincinnati 83.
*** While I was proud of the way the Black Sheep played, a couple of things about that bout left a sour taste. While the officiating in general was solid, I have never seen one official as bad (and one-sidedly bad) as the one I saw in this bout. She was not a CRG ref as far as I know, and I have no idea of her name or from whence she came, but it would be a shame if she were allowed on the track for any significant bout in the near future. I don't think that her actions affected the final outcome, but had the game been a bit closer, they certainly could have. Secondly, with as much respect as I have for the talent and "professionalism" of Windy City, I was saddened to see them trying to run up the score at the end. Stay classy, Chicago.
*** Of the three main Black Sheep jammers, Hannah Ouchocinco was the best, and she is my co-MVP for her squad. She did have some troubles against an excellent foe, but she scored the most points and was the only CRG jammer to win as many jams as she lost on point differential. Hannah had (by my count) the fewest jammer penalties for CRG, and certainly hers had the least impact on the outcome of the game. She's not my MVP for any of those reasons, however. In this game, Hannah was the stopper. When her team went into a slide, it was nearly always Hannah who won the next jam to get some momentum back. She had some dazzling moves, but she was also steady and mentally tough in sweltering conditions and in the face of an outstanding opponent.
*** Wheezy had some great moments, showing excellent speed and agility. She got the crowd back into the game on quite a few occasions with some nifty moves. Unfortunately, she also had a couple of very damaging penalties (one that was not her fault, as mentioned earlier), and she didn't quite have the consistency in her play that she'll need to reach the next level as a jammer. K Lethal had a very tough game, showing a bit of the flashy speed we've seen from her in the past, but not nearly enough of the power and aggressiveness she typically shows. K Lethal won a mere two of her 14 jams, while losing ten.
*** The other co-MVP for the Sheep is Sk8r-Kinney. She was easily the best blocker in black for this bout. Kinney did the job, whether as part of a wall, or as one of the best solo positional blockers I've seen in roller derby. She's smart and strong, and it takes quite an effort for even the stellar offensive WCR packs to dislodge her from her position. Unfortunately, CRG too often went to the slow pack start and back wall strategy. This approach blunts their greatest strength, their excellent front two-walls and three-walls. By my informal count, CRG used the strategy either nine or ten times, only once keeping Windy City from lead jammer status.
*** Other blocking notables for CRG included the multitalented Trauma and the excellent work by Karma Krash at the front of the pack. Jungle Lacy and Buckhead Betty did some strong work in the middle, and Ruff'n the Passer took on Sk8 Crime's normal role as the enforcer at the back of the pack.
*** Windy City employed five jammers with some consistency. The three most active were Athena Decrime, Varla Vendetta, and Zoe Trocious, and all of them had excellent performances. Athena and Varla are well known, and they certainly earn their reputations as smart, tough, and quick all-around performers. Zoe Trocious may not have quite the same notoriety, but she is definitely an outstanding jammer. Ruth Enasia and Beth Amphetamine also got pretty regular turns, their long strides chewing up the open track.
*** As you may have guessed from my description of the bout, WCR's most impressive blocker was Deb Autry. She was everywhere, playing stout defense and offering some top-notch assists to get her jammers going. I'm actually amazed that I got this far without much mention of Jackie Daniels. She is one of my favorite players to watch, and a true triple-threat. In this bout, she only jammed once, and she had a rather quiet game in the pack. That said, you'll rarely catcher her hurting her team by going to the box or being caught out of position. Perhaps I should just type in Windy City's entire list of blockers, rather than trying to parse out the ones I thought were best. Well, nah, I'll just mention a few of them: Bork Bork Bork, Norma Lee Wright, and Georgia on Yer Behind stood out to me.
The post-bout meet-and-greet is always fun. I got to talk at length with Bex Pistol, Karma Krash, The Librarian, and Miss Print. I missed out on Wheezy until my short visit to the after-party, where I enjoyed our chat as always. I did get a chance to meet Jackie Daniels, which I've wanted to do since I first saw her skate in Grand Rapids. Unfortunately, I also missed out on a lot of the skaters with whom I wanted to talk. Trauma was pulled away by the coaches as I was waiting a few feet away, and Hop Devil was busy every time I tried. I'm not sure that I even saw Poppy Chulo, Maime, or Buckhead Betty. I would have liked to meet more of the Windy City skaters, and I also never caught Justice Feelgood Marshall, with whom I'd planned to chat.
So, moving on to my overall impressions of the evening, I'll start with a topic that's received a lot of attention lately: "bout production." I can't speak for anyone else, and maybe CRG has some research that says I'm in the minority, but I'm more and more disappointed every bout. I am a sports fan. I drive 3+ hours each way a number of times per season to the bouts, and I also tend to catch an away game or two. I do this because I love the sport of roller derby in general, and the Cincinnati Rollergirls teams specifically. I don't go to baseball games for the Sausage Race or the Kiss-Cam, and I don't go to football games for the halftime show. I certainly don't go to derby bouts for mascots nor cup pyramid building, and I'd be more than happy to never see people in face paint attempt a choreographed routine. I realize that the teams need halftime breaks and such, so a little of the above is probably necessary. Beyond that, however, I'd much rather have any of the following: a full-length B game, more time for meet-and-greets afterward, or a 20-minute head start on driving home and/or attending the after-party.
Secondly, the scoreboard situation is troubling. I think that the best seats at a derby bout are in turn three, looking down the backstretch. CRG must at least somewhat agree with me, as the first row of seats on that end were reserved specifically for season ticket holders. So why would a team put its most valued fans in a position where they can't even see the game nor jam clocks? I could not believe that the time was not shown on the electronic scoreboard beyond turn one. This made it very difficult to keep up with the in-game strategy and situations, and often left me feeling lost. I realize that the big, overhead scoreboard is unavailable, but can't we at least make it so that every fan can see the score and clock(s)? Floor seats for the first bout of the season sold out. I wondered how early I'd need to get my extras on days I'd attend with others. Every bout I've attended this year, there are plenty of empty seats, even down in that prime area. That might be a sign that the way CRG is doing things isn't working for the fans.
Even with my complaints, and the fact that I arrived home in Toledo at 3:10am, I enjoyed the evening. It upsets me that more "traditional" sports fans don't give roller derby a chance. I hope that CRG and other derby leagues will do their part by reaching out to others like me. Derby at its highest level is an awesome sport that requires great athleticism, endurance, and strategy. So why is it that fans of traditional sports who are not friends nor family of skaters (such as myself) are so rare? I've seen no less than the "Commissioner," Jerry Seltzer, publicly salivate over labor trouble in football and basketball as an opportunity to grow the sport of roller derby. When will people understand that baseball, football, basketball, and hockey are not the enemy? If roller derby wants to grow, it's time to go out and make friends with its sporting brethren. Once we open the door, I think there are countless others like me, who'll be glad to see CRG one night, a Reds game the next day, and the Stanley Cup Finals on TV the next night. Clivilles and Cole would have wanted it that way.
As always, let's start with the disclaimers: I am not a professional, just a fan. Although I watch the action closely, it is highly likely that I will credit the wrong person for something or be off on a detail or three. The uniforms of Windy City's Second Wind (impossible for fans to read the red numbers on light blue shirts) made things difficult, as did the lack of period and jam time on the scoreboard I could see. And now, on to the recap.
*** The evening's first bout was a battle of the B-Teams, with Cincy's Silent Lambs taking on Windy City's Second Wind. I was present for these teams' matchup last season at the UIC Pavilion in Chicago, in which WCR overpowered the Lambs. Based on those memories and the fact that the Lambs have lost a lot of talent and experience in the blocking ranks, I was just hoping the Lambs could avoid a blowout. The first four jams did not do much for my confidence, as Windy City scored in surgically precise single passes of fours and fives. The lone early highlight for the Lambs was an explosive jammer take out by Kitten Kicker as the third jam came to a close. Each of the four jammers in the Silent Lambs' rotation (Hop Devil, Hot Slice, Miss Print, and Cherry Choke) was shut out on her first turn with the star, and the Second Wind took a 17-0 lead.
*** WCR's Unicoroner looked primed to continue her team's dominance, putting a hellacious juke on CRG's Pistolwhippin Wendy. However, she was sent to the box soon thereafter, giving Cincy's Hop Devil a power jam opportunity. Hop Devil managed a grand slam, but the real story was Windy City's penalty killing. Tamikaze led the way with some outstanding work to keep Hop Devil slowed, and CRG lost a golden opportunity, merely matching WCR's five points on the jam. This was actually the first of four consecutive power jams overall (two for CRG, one for WCR, one for CRG).
*** In the very next jam, Miss Print took the jammer line with the Second Wind's Ska Face. Ska face got the early advantage, but CRG's Maime not only leveled her with a huge hit, but also drew a penalty on the Chicago jammer. Miss Print got to work immediately on the power jam, her pack keeping things nice and slow as she tallied two grand slams with some nice bursts of speed on the outside. The WCR lead stood at 26-15. Hot Slice took the star next for CRG, looking to keep the momentum going. Unfortunately, she took a major track cut, and WCR's Wreck N Shrew got to show what she could do on the power jam. A depleted CRG pack was no match for a smart and physical Second Wind contingent, which featured some outstanding assists by Tori Adore and Sunshine N Painbows. WCR posted a 19-0 jam and took a 30-point lead.
*** The momentum shifted yet again on the next jam, as Windy City's jammer went to the box, and Hop Devil posted an 11-0 power jam, cutting the deficit to 19 points with five minutes remaining in the half. That was truly the last time the outcome of the bout was in question, as Windy City reeled off three consecutive big jams to end the half, closing on a 28-0 run to lead by a score of 83-26.
*** As the skaters took to the track after their break, it was as though halftime never occurred. Ska Face and Wreck N Shrew picked up when they left off, starting the half with 9-0 and 10-0 jams, respectively. They were once again aided by some sharp offensive pack play, but poor number visibility prevents me from giving credit to any individual WCR blockers for it. As the Second Wind eased across the 100-point barrier, the Silent Lambs looked powerless to stop the onslaught. Nearly every time CRG attempted to build a wall, a Windy City blocker would appear and take just the right angle to break it wide open. CRG ended up trying to play a lot of one-on-one defense, and that's not a style of play that suits them well. Kitten Kicker had another nice hit on the Windy City jammer, but CRG were down 102-26 with 16 minutes remaining.
*** The Sient Lambs had one more push left in them, and some strong pack work kept Chicago's jammer in the pack as Hop Devil got lead jammer and a 4-2 jam win. Next, both teams featured players taking the star for the first time on the evening. WCR's Sunshine N Painbows took the jam 4-0 over CRG's Polly Rocket, as Kitten Kicker took (at least) her third trip to the sin bin, leaving a pack disadvantage for Cincy. Cherry Choke took lead jammer for the Lambs on the next jam, but despite some fine blocking by Iona Pare and Poppy Chulo, only managed a 4-4 tie. The teams reassembled, and WCR's Karmageddon took lead jammer. CRG's pack did a wonderful job recycling her, eventually forcing her to call it off scoreless. The Second Wind led, 112-34 with 11 minutes to play.
*** From there, it was all Windy City. Wreck N Shrew put up a 15-0 jam, as WCR pivot Mo Vengeance slammed Miss Print to the floor. On the next jam, Poppy Chulo, Bex Pistol, and Polly Rocket managed to keep a strong three-wall together at the back of the pack, springing Hop Devil as the lead jammer. Hop Devil could have called the jam with a small point advantage, but passed, leaving the Second Wind a slight 4-3 edge and a margin nearing 100 points. After a quick 4-0 for WCR, Mo Vengeance struck the death blow, making effortless laps with the star as her pack shut down Hot Slice for a 25-0 differential.
*** With only four minutes remaining and a 123-point gap, both teams continued to play hard. Tamikaze put up a 5-0 jam over Cherry Choke, thanks to great blocking by WCR's Red Zeppelin. On the evening's last jam, Hot Slice got the lead for CRG and managed to make a great move, going limbo-champion low to escape a Chicago blocker. Unfortunately, she was sent off soon after that, and the bout drew to a close. The final score was Windy City 170, Cincy 44.
*** For CRG, none of the four primary jammers found any consistent success against the fearsome Windy City packs. No Silent Lambs jammer scored more than seven points in non-power jams for the evening, and none won the score differential more often than she lost it. In fact, the entire CRG squad only won the point differential in four of 23 jams, only one of which was a non-power jam.
*** Even though Cincinnati's blockers lost many of the battles with WCR's packs, a few noteworthy performances stood out. I'll start with the bout MVP for the Silent Lambs, Poppy Chulo. Poppy showed the power and toughness to fight off some quick and powerful opponents, while often using her position as pivot to keep an overmatched CRG pack together. Bex Pistol played a strong all-around game, mixing it up inside some tight packs as well as using her quickness to establish and re-establish her position as WCR's strong offensive pack play splintered the Lambs' defense. Kitten Kicker provided some explosive hits that belie her slender frame. Unfortunately, these big one-on-one shots also lefther out of position on some occasions and led to numerous sojourns to the penalty box. I also noticed Maime and Iona Pare providing some good positional blocking.
*** For Windy City, there are plenty of kudos to go around. All three primary jammers (Ska Face, Wreck N Shrew, and Unicoroner) were very effective. By my count, a total of seven skaters jammed at least once for the Second Wind, and not a single one looked out of place. By far, however, I was most impressed by WCR's packs. I have never seen a B-Team play offense like that (and not many A-Teams). On only rare occasions could CRG keep a wall intact for more than a couple of seconds. WCR's blockers were seemingly never out of position, and they were also very skilled physically. The cream of the crop was Sunshine N Painbows, who has good size and exceptional speed. She could play for the A-Team of just about every other league I've seen. I was also very impressed by Ada Hatelace, Mel Content, and Mo Vengeance, to name just a few. Simply put, this is an outstanding team from top to bottom. If it were eligible for WFTDA ranking, I'd put the Second Wind no worse than 8th in the North Central Region.
*** After some between-bout stuff (marching band, mascot, cup pyramid contest) ended, it was time for the main event. Windy City's All-Stars (#1 in the WFTDA North Central Region, #9 in he DNN Power Rankings) were introduced, followed by CRG's Black Sheep (#5 WFTDA NC, #17 DNN). The Windy City All-Stars have never been defeated in NC Regional play, but the Black Sheep gave them one of their biggest scares to date in last year's regional tournament. While Windy City has continued to roll through 2011, CRG has looked lost at times. Obviously, I would have loved to see an upset here, but my realistic goal was for CRG to keep the margin within 50.
*** This bout started much like the first, with WCR playing for quick hitting jams. Jackie Daniels (in what would turn out to be her only jam of the night) took lead and called it at 4-0, thanks to nice work by WCR's Varla Vendetta, who recycled CRG jammer K Lethal. Athena Decrime put up a quick grand slam, as Deb Autry and Georgia on Yer Behind bottled up CRG's Hannah Ouchocinco at the back. On the next jam, Black Sheep blocker Ruff'n the Passer had a nice jammer take out to limit Varla Vendetta to a 1-0 advantage. K Lethal then broke through for lead jammer, but she ended up on the short end of a 4-3 jam.
*** Trauma came out to jam for CRG, and the her pack showed a tactic I had not seen from Cincy, taking a slow start and trying to create a wall at the back of the pack, just across the pivot line. Windy City jammer Zoe Trocious foiled the plan with a quick jab step and a hop right through the middle of a tiny gap in CRG's blockers. As she racked up three grand slams, Trauma was held in check by a strong WCR pack. The following jam was a battle of tall and slender (CRG's Wheezy) versus taller and slender (WCR's Ruth Enasia) at the jammer line. Wheezy had the early advantage, but she ended up taking the star to the penalty box. Black Sheep blocker Sk8r-Kinney did some outstanding one-on-one positional blocking to limit the damage, and CRG yielded a mere 5-4 edge to Windy City.
*** At the close of a quick 1-0 jam by K Lethal, WCR jammer Athena Decrime skated off to the box, leaving Hannah Ouchocinco on the line alone. The Black Sheep were pure poetry on the power jam. Hannah offered her patented, once-a-bout mega-juke to clear her first scoring pass, and Athena left the box only to return to it within seconds of hitting the track. The CRG pack did an excellent job trapping a blocker, and Hannah jumped the apex after turn one to complete another grand slam. The jam ended 15-0, and Windy City led 34-23 with 15 minutes to go in the half.
*** Wheezy started the next jam solo, but she was slowed when a blatant trip by WCR's Hoosier Mama just after turn two went uncalled. This allowed Athena Decrime to come out of the box and claim lead jammer status en route to a 4-0 WCR jam win. The next jam saw Zoe Trocious rack up 12 points and a fluid, strong CRG pack put the clamps on K Lethal, eventually frustrating her into taking a trip to the sin bin. Varla Vendetta started the next jam unopposed for Windy City, and Trauma put forth an heroic individual effort to limit the damage. Trauma forced not one, but two track cuts on Varla, the latter of which sent her to the box and prompted a jammer switch. On K Lethal's scoring pass, she received a phenomenal whip from Trauma that allowed her to zip through on a sweet inside pass.
*** With the score at WCR 58, CRG 32, the Black Sheep received a golden opportunity to turn the tide. Hannah started the jam unopposed, and WCR's Varla Vendetta was sent off again on a track cut only seconds after she re-entered the action. Hannah got a quick four points, then called it to give Wheezy a solo start on the following jam. The Windy City pack was up to the task, with Deb Autry doing some excellent individual work on the penalty kill. Trauma and Karma Krash eventually freed the CRG jammer with some nice assists, but CRG only picked up five points. A couple of uneventful jams brought the score to 58-42 in favor of WCR. Wheezy then showed remarkable speed and moves on her initial pass, while Sk8 Crime and Sk8r-Kinney set up a great wall at the back to strand Ruth Enasia. CRG had reduced the margin to a mere 11.
*** The next jam was truly the turning point in the bout. With just enough time remaining for one jam, K Lethal was sent to the penalty box, leaving Athena Decrime with a power jam. Windy City's Sargentina absolutely pulverized Cincy's Candy Kickass with a huge shoulder hit, and an already small CRG pack got downright lonely. WCR's pack trapped a blocker and brought things to a near-standstill, as Athena skated laps. By the time the jam ended, WCR had posted a 25-0 score, and the Chicagoans took an 83-47 lead into halftime.
*** The second half began with Windy City scoring 12 unanswered points over four jams. On one of them, the WCR jammer was knocked to the infield near turn three, stood there for a moment, then stepped back into play past turn four, well ahead of the CRG blockers. She realized her mistake and froze, waiting to be called on the major track cut, but no call was forthcoming. The official looked at her, and dismissively waved her back onto the track. Had it been a no-call, it would have been amazing enough, but the zebra seemed to say "It's fine. We just won't call the most obvious track cut ever." This is the same official, mind you, who missed the obvious trip mentioned earlier, even though it was directly in front of her. CRG lost a golden opportunity to close the gap with a power jam.
*** The Black Sheep finally broke into the scoring column on the fifth jam of the half. Sk8r-Kinney did some great work against Windy City jammer Zoe Trocious, first with one-on-one blocking at the front, and then in a nice two-skater waterfall with Nuk'em. Hannah took lead jammer and scored a grand slam to bring the deficit to 43 points with 24 minutes remaining. CRG quickly squandered that momentum, however, as Wheezy was called on a phantom track cut (guess which ref?) and sent on a one-minute sabbatical while wearing the star. Windy City won the jam, 11-0. The next six jams were rather uneventful, resulting in a cumulative score of 7-0 for WCR. One thing that did happen is that a very blatant multiple-player block by WCR against Hannah (right in front of me in turn three) was not called by... wait for it... the very same official.
*** Windy City racked up a 32-1 advantage over the next four jams, highlighted by Beth Amphetamine's 20-pointer. Hannah bounced back to win her next jam, 12-8. CRG then got back-to-back power jams, courtesy of Beth Amphetamine's shuttle run to the penalty box, and Wheezy and K Lethal picked up 17 points to WCR's one over that span. This brought the WCR's lead to 154-82, but with only three minutes on the clock, this one was not in doubt.
*** On the penultimate jam of the night, Zoe Trocious picked up a 10-0, as her teammate Deb Autry made a very smart play. She saw CRG's Jungle Lacy skating clockwise to return to the pack and blasted directly into her, getting the big hit and sending Lacy off to the box for the clockwise block. Hannah drew a penalty close to the end of that jam, and Athena Decrime lined up solo with a minute on the clock and an 82-point lead. For some reason, Windy City decided to run up the score in that situation, rather than just getting lead jammer and skating in circles until the clock was all zeroes. Jungle Lacy came out of nowhere to absolutely blast Athena, and a 14-1 jam put the final at Windy City 178, Cincinnati 83.
*** While I was proud of the way the Black Sheep played, a couple of things about that bout left a sour taste. While the officiating in general was solid, I have never seen one official as bad (and one-sidedly bad) as the one I saw in this bout. She was not a CRG ref as far as I know, and I have no idea of her name or from whence she came, but it would be a shame if she were allowed on the track for any significant bout in the near future. I don't think that her actions affected the final outcome, but had the game been a bit closer, they certainly could have. Secondly, with as much respect as I have for the talent and "professionalism" of Windy City, I was saddened to see them trying to run up the score at the end. Stay classy, Chicago.
*** Of the three main Black Sheep jammers, Hannah Ouchocinco was the best, and she is my co-MVP for her squad. She did have some troubles against an excellent foe, but she scored the most points and was the only CRG jammer to win as many jams as she lost on point differential. Hannah had (by my count) the fewest jammer penalties for CRG, and certainly hers had the least impact on the outcome of the game. She's not my MVP for any of those reasons, however. In this game, Hannah was the stopper. When her team went into a slide, it was nearly always Hannah who won the next jam to get some momentum back. She had some dazzling moves, but she was also steady and mentally tough in sweltering conditions and in the face of an outstanding opponent.
*** Wheezy had some great moments, showing excellent speed and agility. She got the crowd back into the game on quite a few occasions with some nifty moves. Unfortunately, she also had a couple of very damaging penalties (one that was not her fault, as mentioned earlier), and she didn't quite have the consistency in her play that she'll need to reach the next level as a jammer. K Lethal had a very tough game, showing a bit of the flashy speed we've seen from her in the past, but not nearly enough of the power and aggressiveness she typically shows. K Lethal won a mere two of her 14 jams, while losing ten.
*** The other co-MVP for the Sheep is Sk8r-Kinney. She was easily the best blocker in black for this bout. Kinney did the job, whether as part of a wall, or as one of the best solo positional blockers I've seen in roller derby. She's smart and strong, and it takes quite an effort for even the stellar offensive WCR packs to dislodge her from her position. Unfortunately, CRG too often went to the slow pack start and back wall strategy. This approach blunts their greatest strength, their excellent front two-walls and three-walls. By my informal count, CRG used the strategy either nine or ten times, only once keeping Windy City from lead jammer status.
*** Other blocking notables for CRG included the multitalented Trauma and the excellent work by Karma Krash at the front of the pack. Jungle Lacy and Buckhead Betty did some strong work in the middle, and Ruff'n the Passer took on Sk8 Crime's normal role as the enforcer at the back of the pack.
*** Windy City employed five jammers with some consistency. The three most active were Athena Decrime, Varla Vendetta, and Zoe Trocious, and all of them had excellent performances. Athena and Varla are well known, and they certainly earn their reputations as smart, tough, and quick all-around performers. Zoe Trocious may not have quite the same notoriety, but she is definitely an outstanding jammer. Ruth Enasia and Beth Amphetamine also got pretty regular turns, their long strides chewing up the open track.
*** As you may have guessed from my description of the bout, WCR's most impressive blocker was Deb Autry. She was everywhere, playing stout defense and offering some top-notch assists to get her jammers going. I'm actually amazed that I got this far without much mention of Jackie Daniels. She is one of my favorite players to watch, and a true triple-threat. In this bout, she only jammed once, and she had a rather quiet game in the pack. That said, you'll rarely catcher her hurting her team by going to the box or being caught out of position. Perhaps I should just type in Windy City's entire list of blockers, rather than trying to parse out the ones I thought were best. Well, nah, I'll just mention a few of them: Bork Bork Bork, Norma Lee Wright, and Georgia on Yer Behind stood out to me.
The post-bout meet-and-greet is always fun. I got to talk at length with Bex Pistol, Karma Krash, The Librarian, and Miss Print. I missed out on Wheezy until my short visit to the after-party, where I enjoyed our chat as always. I did get a chance to meet Jackie Daniels, which I've wanted to do since I first saw her skate in Grand Rapids. Unfortunately, I also missed out on a lot of the skaters with whom I wanted to talk. Trauma was pulled away by the coaches as I was waiting a few feet away, and Hop Devil was busy every time I tried. I'm not sure that I even saw Poppy Chulo, Maime, or Buckhead Betty. I would have liked to meet more of the Windy City skaters, and I also never caught Justice Feelgood Marshall, with whom I'd planned to chat.
So, moving on to my overall impressions of the evening, I'll start with a topic that's received a lot of attention lately: "bout production." I can't speak for anyone else, and maybe CRG has some research that says I'm in the minority, but I'm more and more disappointed every bout. I am a sports fan. I drive 3+ hours each way a number of times per season to the bouts, and I also tend to catch an away game or two. I do this because I love the sport of roller derby in general, and the Cincinnati Rollergirls teams specifically. I don't go to baseball games for the Sausage Race or the Kiss-Cam, and I don't go to football games for the halftime show. I certainly don't go to derby bouts for mascots nor cup pyramid building, and I'd be more than happy to never see people in face paint attempt a choreographed routine. I realize that the teams need halftime breaks and such, so a little of the above is probably necessary. Beyond that, however, I'd much rather have any of the following: a full-length B game, more time for meet-and-greets afterward, or a 20-minute head start on driving home and/or attending the after-party.
Secondly, the scoreboard situation is troubling. I think that the best seats at a derby bout are in turn three, looking down the backstretch. CRG must at least somewhat agree with me, as the first row of seats on that end were reserved specifically for season ticket holders. So why would a team put its most valued fans in a position where they can't even see the game nor jam clocks? I could not believe that the time was not shown on the electronic scoreboard beyond turn one. This made it very difficult to keep up with the in-game strategy and situations, and often left me feeling lost. I realize that the big, overhead scoreboard is unavailable, but can't we at least make it so that every fan can see the score and clock(s)? Floor seats for the first bout of the season sold out. I wondered how early I'd need to get my extras on days I'd attend with others. Every bout I've attended this year, there are plenty of empty seats, even down in that prime area. That might be a sign that the way CRG is doing things isn't working for the fans.
Even with my complaints, and the fact that I arrived home in Toledo at 3:10am, I enjoyed the evening. It upsets me that more "traditional" sports fans don't give roller derby a chance. I hope that CRG and other derby leagues will do their part by reaching out to others like me. Derby at its highest level is an awesome sport that requires great athleticism, endurance, and strategy. So why is it that fans of traditional sports who are not friends nor family of skaters (such as myself) are so rare? I've seen no less than the "Commissioner," Jerry Seltzer, publicly salivate over labor trouble in football and basketball as an opportunity to grow the sport of roller derby. When will people understand that baseball, football, basketball, and hockey are not the enemy? If roller derby wants to grow, it's time to go out and make friends with its sporting brethren. Once we open the door, I think there are countless others like me, who'll be glad to see CRG one night, a Reds game the next day, and the Stanley Cup Finals on TV the next night. Clivilles and Cole would have wanted it that way.
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