Smells Like Nirvana

This past weekend, I set a new personal record for longest distance traveled to see a sporting event (1946 miles as the crow flies). The destination was Bremerton, Washington, home of the Wild West Showdown (WWS) roller derby tournament. Truthfully, the purpose of the trip was twofold. I was excited to visit my good friend from college, Brian, who lives in the Seattle area. He and I have discussed going to a Rat City bout up there if we could time it well, so why not just see Rat City and many others, all together at the tournament? Not a bad way for him to lose his derby virginity! Of course, I was also thrilled to have a chance to see so many teams from the West, as the only ones I had seen were those that made it to the WFTDA Championships in Chicago last autumn. The WWS promised 17 WFTDA leagues, playing in a total of 23 bouts, from Friday evening through Sunday afternoon.

In the end, I managed to see eight full bouts and portions of three others. I got to watch 12 of the 17 teams in attendance at least once. I will detail the weekend's events chronologically, with some final thoughts at the end. Since there's no way I could do full recaps for that many bouts, you'll find mini-recaps for each, marked with "***" within this post. Some of them, especially those for the bouts I only witnessed in part, may be just a few sentences. Others may be a long paragraph or two. At the very end, I will rank the five teams that impressed me most, as well as select my personal all-star skaters from the weekend. So, I suppose I should get on with it.

(DISCLAIMER: I am not a journalist, and I did not keep stats nor extremely detailed notes during the bouts. This is a post about my experiences and opinions. Please forgive me if I am off on a fact or three.)

FRIDAY, MARCH 4

I woke up around 4am to prepare for my 5am ride to the airport in Detroit. When I walked out to meet my friend, I nearly fell. There had been no real mention of it on the previous night's news, but a sheet of ice covered every surface, and I hoped that the expressways would be clear. We carefully made our way to the on ramp, and we instantly knew this was not going to be a fun commute. It was barely 5:15am, and cars were backed up, with two accidents in the immediate line of sight. I-75 North was completely stopped, and we turned the radio on just in time to hear that the interstate was closed. We managed to get to an exit and picked our way across icy city streets until we were finally able to catch I-75, no more than 1/2 mile north of the third major accident in a four-mile stretch. Traffic heading up through Michigan was crawling at 25 mph, and I was very glad that I always leave very early for flights. After about 15 miles, we finally drove over some salt, and as the road crews caught up, the pace improved some.

I arrived at the airport around 7am, thanked my friend for risking her life and limb to get me there, and hoped for a very short security line. I quickly checked my bag at the counter, and ended up in a line only six people deep at security. In all, I went from the curb to my flight's gate in roughly ten minutes. The first leg of my flight, a little over an hour to Chicago's Midway, was perfect. I had an empty seat next to me and got to read most of the Sporting News Baseball Preview (Hooray Baseball Season!) before touching down for a quick layover.

Unfortunately, my luck evened out as I boarded the plane for the final four-plus hours to Seattle. The flight attendant mentioned that the flight was completely full, but I managed to get on early enough to find a seat on the aisle. Those of you who know me know that I am not a small man (6'3", 240ish), and the aisle seat makes a big difference. In the window seat of my row was another tall guy, although not as large as I am. The stream of people kept coming onto the plane. I knew that someone would be sitting next to me, and I watched intently, hoping it would be a smaller person. I saw the perfect candidate a few people back, a guy who was maybe 5'6" and 130 pounds. Unfortunately, the man immediately before him stopped at my row. If you picture the comic book guy from The Simpsons, but with curly, greasy hair and a week's worth of body odor, you know exactly who wedged himself into the middle seat. Of course, his seat could not contain him, and I thought about asking him to cover a third of my airfare for the third of my seat he occupied. He slumped against me as he slept for most of the trip, and that may just have been the longest four hours of my life.

Finally, I had arrived in Seattle. I picked up my luggage and checked in at the rental car counter. With the keys to a Chevy Malibu (not bad) in hand, I turned on the GPS and hoped for the best. I usually do pretty well with city driving, thanks to learning to drive on the Eisenhower Expressway in Chicago. I managed to reach my friend, Brian, and he said he'd meet me for lunch near the airport before I drove to Bremerton, which is a 55-mile trip through Tacoma and up the Kitsap Peninsula. We caught up a bit and ate some good bar food (giant chili cheeseburger FTW), then parted ways for the day.

The drive wasn't bad, with some ugly stop-and-go down I-5 to Tacoma offset by the beautiful scenery on the way up to Bremerton. I arrived to check in at the Baymont Inn just a bit before 5pm, and I was very pleased with my accommodations. My room was large and comfortable (despite the fact that my shower head was placed roughly chest-high), the views from my room and from the lobby were excellent, and the free breakfast was quite good as well. I settled in for a bit, but decided to get moving pretty quickly, as I wanted to catch at least a couple of the Friday night bouts. The roads were a bit dicey from a steady rain, but I made my way to the venue with little problem.

The Kitsap Sun Pavilion hosted the tournament. The main building held two tracks, set side by side and separated by a curtain. Track One featured a long set of three-high bleachers the entire length of the backstretch (and then some), a set of roughly ten-high bleachers on the end (between turns one and two), and a balcony "beer garden." The beer garden had a lone row of chairs, some tables, and a tall section of all-in-one plastic fold-down chairs (similar to those at the Seagate Centre in Toledo). Track Two's seating consisted of a shorter set of three-high bleachers down the backstretch and a rickety set of metal bleachers between turns one and two. Concessions and merch tables were set up along the two outside walls, parallel to the track straightaways. It certainly didn't have the feel of an arena, and the bleachers were not easy on my butt and back, but I think that tournament host Slaughter County did an excellent job in using the available space. A third track was set up for challenge bouts, which were held in a separate building, a few hundred feet from the door nearest Track Two. I did not venture into Track Three's building, as I was only interested in the WFTDA bouts.

I arrived just in time for the beginning of the 6pm bout, which matched Slaughter County Roller Vixens (SCRV) and Sin City. I settled in to watch the bout for a few minutes, then wandered to the other side to find a single piece of merch. Screama Donna of Circle City Roller Girls won the "Pick Your Prize" giveaway on our Facebook page, and she chose the limited edition Hellarad/Flat Track Revolution hip bag. I found my way over to the booth and bought one of the last few remaining, feeling more than a bit odd making such a purchase. I noticed that the evening's first bout (Bellingham vs. Santa Cruz) was down to its last 15 minutes. At the completion of that contest, I moved back over to track one and saw the remainder of SCRV and Sin City.

*** Bellingham vs. Santa Cruz: I didn't see enough of the bout to really comment on the ebb and flow of the contest. I also didn't even have my notepad out, so I can't speak to many of the details. Still, Santa Cruz found itself ahead by eight with a single jam worth of time on the game clock. Bellingham clamped down, and through great pack play and a speedy jammer began to narrow the margin. As the jam clock would down, the jammer headed in for one last pass. When the jam was called, the scoreboard showed a Bellingham victory by a single point. Tension filled the room as everyone watched the officials confer, and when they certified the score, Bellingham's fans erupted and charged down to the trackside, welcoming ecstatic skaters during and after the victory lap. WWS was off to an excellent start.

*** Slaughter County vs. Sin City: I watched most of this bout, including a decent chunk of the first half and the entire second half. SCRV were completely dominant throughout, storming to136-26 halftime lead over the ladies from Vegas. On'Da Sligh was easily the best skater on the track, taking regular turns with the star and virtually always getting the lead jammer call. She was extremely quick, and she pulled off some moves I had never seen before, including a couple of 360-degree spins that would put a Madden Football running back to shame. Toucan Slam and Asonya Face rolled up points as well, and Aretha BreakLimbs was a standout in SCRV's outstanding pack play. Sin City had a tough time putting much together and fell by a final score of 258-81. DVS Dicer was the most effective jammer for Sin City, showing a lot of toughness and determination to break through some very tough blocking.

*** Denver vs. Rose City: After checking out the various seating areas, I settled into the backstretch bleachers of Track One for the evening's marquee matchup. Denver (#6) was a slight underdog to Rose (#5) in the Derby News Network power rankings, but it seemed like a very even matchup. The first thing I noticed about Denver was that its skaters use their real names on the track (for away bouts only, I later learned). I have mixed feelings about this. I certainly think using real names makes roller derby seem more professional and more like a mainstream sport. On the other side, however, I think the tradition of derby names is one of the things that makes the sport unique and fun. Perhaps one of the best things about derby is that the leagues and skaters get to make these decisions, so that each may have it its/her own way.

*** Denver/Rose (cont.) The action was back-and-forth, with each team going on small runs throughout the first half, which ended with a 53-45 Denver lead. Jammer Andrea Hill played a key role in Denver's performance, coming through time and again with excellent performances every time Rose seemed to have the advantage. The first big momentum swing of the second half came via an 18-point power jam for Rose, allowing the Wheels of Justice to take a 77-71 lead with 18 minutes remaining. Heather Juska and Denver fired back just five minutes later with a big jam to tie the score at 84, and the teams kept it close for the next ten minutes. With just 2:30 remaining in the game, Denver clung to a two point lead. Denver pulled away a bit in the final two jams to win by a score of 112-98 and bring Friday's action to a close. This was one of the closest and most entertaining bouts I have seen. Juska and Hill turned in outstanding jammer performances for the Mile High Club, while Gabrielle Begeman and Shannon Dorato were forces in the pack. On the Rose side, Soulfearic Acid was sharp with the star. and White Flight and Scratcher in the Eye added some effective jams. I noticed Napalm Beth and Heidi Go Seek providing the muscle and tactical blocking for Rose.

*** Denver/Rose (cont.): A final point on this bout pertains to the announcing. I am fully aware that the announcers volunteer their services, so I try not to be critical. I'm not expecting Al Michaels, Vin Scully, or Ernie Harwell out there, but please don't detract from my enjoyment of the game. One of the announcers for this bout was constantly trying to be cute, using different voices, from a high-pitched squeak to a "Dr. Claw" growl, or screeching "White Flight!" as though he were trapped in a disco song. It really got annoying after a while, and I felt sorry for his partner, who was doing a very good job.

Having enjoyed a great start to the WWS, I made my way back to the hotel in steady rain. I stopped by my room to get my laptop and went to the lobby to take advantage of the WiFi. Many skaters were still arriving at the hotel at the point, and I killed a bit of time with email and Facebook until I got into a conversation with Jet City announcer Bulldog about the DNN power rankings. I wondered why my eyes felt so heavy at 11pm, then realized that I had been awake for 22 hours at that point and excused myself to get some sleep.

SATURDAY, MARCH 5

My body was still on Eastern time, and I found myself wide awake at 6am. After lying around for a bit, I decided to head down to the lobby and take advantage of the hotel's free breakfast. I eventually outsmarted the waffle maker and complemented my main course with bacon and hash browns. The food was excellent, and I noticed many of the skaters from various teams beginning to funnel in to eat. Just across the aisle from my table were two women in Denver Roller Dolls attire. Even though I am not good at walking up and talking to strangers, I interrupted them for a moment and offered praise for their team's performance the previous night. One of them, Andrea "Kendra Blood" Hill, introduced herself. I realized that just before leaving my room, I had posted a comment on DNN's Facebook post about the Denver-Rose bout, lauding Hill''s performance. We chatted for a moment about the funny coincidence, my trip to watch the WWS, and her team hosting the WFTDA Championships later this year, before I went back to my room to get ready for the day.

Brian decided to take the ferry from Seattle to Bremerton, arriving a bit after 11am. So, rather than go back and forth among the hotel, Pavilion, and ferry station, I opted to miss the first two bouts of the day and hope to arrive in time for the high noon duel between Rat City and Denver. I had given him the quick explanation of derby gameplay the previous day, so we just chatted and caught each other up a bit on our lives while we made a very scenic drive to the venue. We arrived with a bit of time to spare and wandered around a bit so that he could decide where he wanted to sit for the first bout, then picked up a snack from the concession stand and settled in.

*** Rat City vs. Denver: Heather Juska once again led the way, aided by an absolutely dominant Denver pack. Rat City's ReAnimateHer did everything she could to stem the tide, excelling as both a jammer and a blocker, but the Denver attack came in waves. By halftime, it seemed a blowout was imminent, as the Mile High Club led by a score of 86-39. The ladies from nearby Seattle stabilized at the half and gave the local fans a reason to cheer over the first ten minutes after the break. When talented Rat City jammer Carmen Getsome posted a 22-point jam with 20 minutes remaining, it narrowed the gap to 90-69. Rat could not maintain the momentum, however, and Denver steadily increased its lead over the next ten minutes of the half. Even though the outcome was not in doubt, credit Rat with playing hard to the final whistle, coming back over the last few minutes to leave the score a more respectable 140-118 as the clock expired. The Denver jamming troika of Juska, Amanda Sharpless, and Hill continued to impress, and Begeman once again was the anchor of a staunch pack. I also noticed Tracy Akers playing a strong two-way game in Denver's pack. For Rat City, Corrie Caminos joined ReAnimateHer and Carmen Getsome in battling through those tough Denver walls. Sirius Mischief and X-Khan let the blockers, and Goodie Two Skates delivered a monster hit in the final minutes of the bout.

*** Slaughter County vs. Lava City: SCRV picked up right where it left off in the previous night's lopsided win. On'Da Sligh continued to impress with her speed and wide array of jukes and moves. The bout was getting out of hand by the half, so we moved over to catch the first half of Sacred vs. Bellingham. Slaughter ended up posting a 246-96 victory.

*** Sacred City vs. Bellingham: Daddy's Girl and Spiller paced the attack as Sacred controlled the first half, opening up a big lead. Astro Glide, Gladeye Ater, and Dixy DethDlr displayed some strong skating for Bellingham in trying to keep it close. We had planned to watch only the first half of this one, in order to catch the entire Rose-Philly bout. Thinking this one would be a blowout, we migrated to the beer garden above Track One at the half, missing an apparent comeback by Bellingham, which fell short by a respectable 119-76 margin.

*** Philly vs. Rose City: We knew that this would be Brian's last bout of the day, since we were going to dinner near the ferry station afterwards. So, I was hoping for a great bout. I was excited to watch the Liberty Belles, the only team out of the 17 present I had previously seen (at Uproar by the Lakeshore, as well as a few years ago in a bout at Cincy). Of course, after their tangle with Denver, I knew that the extremely talented Wheels of Justice and its large cheering section would be hungry for a win. Rose was ferocious coming out of the gate, and Smack Ya Sideways and Mobi-wan Kanobi led a punishing pack, which shut Philly out completely for the first 13 minutes. By the time the Liberty Belles broke the seal. Rose had amassed the first 42 points of the bout and looked absolutely unbeatable. Philly struggled to stay in the game, but when Rose's Scratcher in the Eye posted a 19-point jam with four minutes to go in the half to run the score to 70-25, I wondered how much longer Philly could keep it interesting.

*** Philly/Rose (cont.): Over those final four minutes before the break, Philly chipped away to bring the score to 74-39 in favor of Rose. For the first ten minutes of the second half, Philly dominated. The Belles never pulled off a huge jam, but won the score differential in virtually every one. With 20 minutes remaining, the Rose City lead was a mere 76-62, and I thought we might see an amazing comeback. The ladies from Portland, however, seized control with a 20-point jam. The best that Philly could do was to close the gap to 22 points with four minutes to play. Rose quickly crushed any dreams of a miracle comeback behind a 25-point jam by Soulfearic Acid (not to mention phenomenal speed control by her pack) and went on to win by a final score of 145-94. The top skaters for Rose included White Flight, along with previously mentioned Soulfearic Acid, Smack Ya Sideways, and Mobi-wan Kanobi. Philly standouts were Teflon Donna and Shenita Stretcher, both of whom played well with and without the star, as well as blocker Copper Top.

As I mentioned, we were off to dinner after this bout. We went to Anthony's, a very nice seafood place just steps from the ferry platform. I enjoyed a great cup of clam chowder and some outstanding crab cakes, two of my favorites. We stayed there and chatted until 7:30 or so, when he made his way back across the water to Seattle and I drove back to the Kitsap Sun PAvilion for one more bout.

*** Rose City vs. Rat City: No bout all weekend drew as much fan interest as this one. By the time I returned to watch, both sets of bleachers were full, as well as a substantial portion of the rows of seats in the balcony. Rose seemed to be the stronger team coming in, but the Wheels of Justice were playing their third bout in 24 hours, and I wondered if fatigue would be a factor. If the Rose City skaters were tired, I sure couldn't tell. They stormed out to a 43-0 lead after a mere seven minutes! Rose lost one of its best blockers early in the game, as Smack Ya Sideways (after a lengthy discussion by the officials) was ejected for a blow to the head. The loss barely slowed the Portland crew down, as it dominated throughout the half, going into the break with a 108-29 lead. Rat City did stabilize in the second half, showing signs of life behind Corrie Caminos and Juliet Bravo. Ultimately, Rat City was unable to mount a sustained push, and the game ended 165-78 in favor of Rose. Rose City got strong outings from the usual suspects (Soulfearic Acid, Scratcher in the Eye, White Flight, Mel Mangles) but also showed off a deep bench, as every skater but the banished Smack Ya Sideways made major contributions.

There is not much to tell about Saturday night after the bouts. I simply drove back to the hotel, caught up on a bit of SportsCenter, and got ready for bed. I was exhausted, but looking forward to some of Sunday's bouts, beginning with the 11am matchup of Philly and Jet City.

SUNDAY, MARCH 6

I lingered a bit longer on Sunday morning before making my way to the lobby for breakfast. I brought my camera with me, hoping to get a few shots of the beautiful scenery through the windows of the dining area. As I sat down with my food, people were streaming in, including most of the Philly Roller Girls. Perhaps ten minutes into my meal, someone walked in and put a very large inflatable zebra at one of the tables., so I got a picture of the zebra and some of the scenery in the background. I finished eating and wanted to talk with some of the Liberty Belles, but I chose not to interrupt any of their conversations. I made it back to my room to get ready, planning on making it to the venue for the first bout at 10am. I'm embarassed to say it, but I actually got caught up in watching Police Academy and completely lost track of time. I finally got on the road a bit after 10:30, making it to the Pavilion with a couple of minutes to spare before Philly vs. Jet.

(Breakfast with the Liberty Belles and the zebra)

*** Philly vs. Jet City: Aside from the big four (Rose, Denver, Philly, and Rat), Jet City was the only DNN top 25 team in attendance at the WWS, and I was looking forward to seeing them skate. Through the first 15 minutes of the game, it looked like a toss-up. Both teams played conservatively, and neither could open up an advantage much beyond five points. Shenita Stretcher sparked Philly with at least a triple grand slam (it may have been quadruple, but I lost track) to put her team ahead, 50-32. Philly seemed to find another gear, and it was never really close after that, as Jet fell behind 100-41 at the half and 151-49 with 15 minutes to play. The end of the bout was anticlimactic, as the Liberty Belles won, 185-68. Precious N. Metal and Snack Size were the most impressive jammers for Jet City, while Unshine did some good work at the front of the pack. For Philly, I could probably list the entire roster. Some of the skaters who cought my attention were Teflon Donna, Ginger Vitis, Shenita Stretcher, Persephone, Goldy, and Deevoida Mercy. I had met Deevoida Mercy at the airport in Seattle ad mentioned that I was excited to see her team play. When I shouted my congratulations to a group of Philly skaters walking by a while after the bout, she turned and yelled "Hi, Airplane Guy!" That brought a smile to my face.

*** Philly/Jet City (cont.): This is the second and final time that I will express my displeasure with an announcer. The house announcers for this bout were a male and female duo, and I thought that the woman did a fine job. The guy, however, just would not get away from the Liberty Belles' "spirit animals." As a fan, I don't want to know that a squirrel or a Jack Russell Terrier did something. I'd really like to know the skaters' names, so that I can keep track during the bout. Also, the animal puns and references just got repetitive and painful after a while. The other non-skating thing that got annoying during the bout was a small but loud group of Jet City fans. A couple of them had megaphones, and they just complained about virtually every call and non-call the refs made. I do give them credit for the fervent support of their team, but the refs in that bout did just as well as those in any other one I saw.

*** Dockyard vs. Santa Cruz: This was the only full bout I saw for either team, and it started off as a pretty tight contest. Dockyard held a small lead throughout most of the first half, and it wasn't until 12 minutes of the second half had passed that Santa Cruz snuck back into the lead, 72-71. From there, Dockyard imploded and Santa Cruz took over completely, outscoring the ladies from Tacoma by a margin of 66-7 over the next ten minutes. In all, Santa Cruz scored 89 points over the final 18 minutes to win, 161-86. Unfortunately, the small numbers and lack of names on Dockyard's uniforms made it very difficult to single out specific skaters for praise. I did notice Ida Spyze-Her doing some good work from the jammer line. For Santa Cruz, Lulu Lockjaw and Candie Hooligan were impressive with the star, and Queen Litigious won points both for her blocking and for her awesome name.

*** Denver vs. Sacred City: This was to be my final bout of the tournament, as I had plans late Sunday afternoon. I really don't have too much to say about this contest, as it was extremely one-sided. After Denver racked up 23 points on a jam by (who else?) Heather Juska, the score stood at 55-0 after just nine minutes of play. Sacred City did eventually put together a few good jams, but the halftime score was 145-21 in favor of Denver. For the next 15 minutes, the ladies from Sacramento fought Denver to a near standstill. From there, however, Denver's overpowering talent prevailed, and the final score was 237-50. For the Mile High Club, Julie Adams showed off her jamming skills, including a sweet spin-o-rama. Of course, Juska, Hill, and Sharpless were excellent as usual from the jammer line. Begeman once again dished out some punishing shots, especially at the back of the pack. She was just one of many outstanding Denver blockers, including standouts Deirdre Sage and Danica Dolezal. While all of Sacred's jammers were held in check, Slapjack caught my eye with some strong blocking against some wickedly talented Denver jammers. I was also very happy to meet announcer Val Capone from Windy City, whose work I have greatly enjoyed over the past couple of years.

*** Tournament Superlatives: These choices are solely based upon the action I saw and do not include anything I heard or read about other bouts. First, here are my five most impressive teams:

#5 - Jet City: Put up a fight against Philly and dominated two smaller leagues. Slaughter County got some consderation here, but ultimately lost points for not playing against any high-level competition.

#4 - Rat City: Rat City was game against two outstanding opponents (Denver and Rose).

#3 - Philly: The tournament's lone Eastern team hung tough against an excellent Rose squad and looked very sharp against Jet City.

#2 - Rose City: A loss to a great Denver squad was the only blemish, as Rose had solid wins over top squads from Philly and Rat City.

#1 - Denver: Swept all three games, and the win against Rose put them over the top.

*** Tournament All-Star Teams: My subjective choices, made only on the basis of bouts I saw. Within each team (first, second, third), skaters are listed alphabetically by derby name or last name. Each team is not necessarily made up of one jammer, one pivot, and three blockers, but simply of five outstanding skaters.

THIRD TEAM: Mel Mangles (Rose), ReAnimate Her (Rat), Jessica Rivas (Denver), Amanda Sharpless (Denver), X-Khan (Rat)

SECOND TEAM: Andrea Hill (Denver), On'Da Sligh (Slaughter), Scratcher in the Eye (Rose), Shenita Stretcher (Philly), White Flight (Rose)

FIRST TEAM: Gabrielle Begeman (Denver), Heather Juska (Denver), Smack Ya Sideways (Rose), Soulfearic Acid (Rose), Teflon Donna (Philly)

TOURNAMENT MVP: Heather Juska (Denver)

(NOTE: If any of the All-Star skaters would like certificates from Have Sports, Will Travel to commemorate their awards, please leave a note on our Facebook page, and I will contact you for a mailing address.)

(With Denver's Andrea Hill)

Sunday night, I wandered down to the hotel ballroom to check out the afterparty. That was probably a bad decision, as I mainly sat around, not knowing anyone. Skaters and those affiliated with the teams seemed to be having a good time, especially once the music situation was fixed. To me, there are three rules for fans pertaining to afterparties, and I broke the second and third ones. Rule #1 is "Understand the nature of the party." The afterparty is a celebration and a reward for the hard work the skaters and officials put in. It does not exist to thank you for spending your $10 or $15 or $55 and coming out to cheer. Even though there are a lot of women, it is also not a singles bar. Rule #2 is "If you don't know people, don't go." Aside from briefly talking to a few skaters throughout the weekend, I knew no one. Refer to Rule #1, people are there to celebrate, not to hang out with people they don't know. My general guideline is to attend only if you know at least 2-3 non-affiliated folks (your friends) or 5-6 derby girls. You don't do any favors by attaching yourself to the hip of that one skater you know all evening. Rule #3 is "Every league or tournament does it differently." I expected the WWS afterparty to be similar to a Cincinnati Rollergirls event, at which the skaters (although often in cliques) are mostly there to socialize. The WWS party turned out to be more of a nightclub-esque dance party, with expensive drinks and music too loud to effectively have a conversation. When in doubt about an afterparty, try to talk to those in the know ahead of time and get an idea of what things will be like.

I won't let the leagues or organizers completely off the hook. They should follow a simple rule as well: Don't invite fans if you have no intention of interacting with them. I'd rather miss out on a closed party than attend one where I'm not really wanted. Would you invite someone to a party at your house and then ignore him or her? Of course not. It's rude in that situation, and poor manners extend to the world of roller derby.

MONDAY, MARCH 7

I got to breakfast at the hotel early, then packed and checked out of the Baymont Inn. I began thr drive to the rental car drop-off near the airport, where Brian was to pick me up at 10am for a few hours in downtown Seattle before my flight.He and one of his young daughters met me there, and we made it over to Pike Street Market. I barely recognized it due to the construction going on to renovate some of the shops. I was still able to track down the delicious mini-donuts, while Brian bought some prawns from the famous fish-throwing shop. We then made our way over to Serious Pie, a gourmet pizza shop owned by local celerbity chef Tom Douglas. There were many very odd combinations of stoppings on the menu, but knowing I had a long day of travel ahead, I played it safe. My fennel sausage, roasted pepper, and provolone pizza was excellent. From there, it was off to the airport, where I said goodbye to Brian and quickly sailed through the ticket counter and security line.

The flights (to Denver and then to Detroit) were long and uneventful. Over the last few minutes heading into Denver, I managed to convince a very nice young couple from Nashville to take their son to a roller derby bout in their hometown. Other than that, it was nothing but compiling my notes for this post and eating honey roasted peanuts. I arrived in Detroit just after midnight, and friends drove me back to Toledo, where I got to bed around 2am. The alarm for work went off at 6am, but I awoke in a good mood. I had just spent the weekend in a state of Derby Nirvana. Unlike the music of the Seattle band that killed good music and ushered in grunge in the early 90's, the announcers were generally pleasant and easy to understand.

I'll wrap up my post by relating something that happened to me on my way to work on Tuesday morning. I was driving down my side street behind a small school bus. The bus pulled over nd stopped, but it did not activate the lights or stop sign. Isat a waited for a bit, but nothing happened. I finally went to pass the bus, and the driver suddenly blasted the horm and activated the lights and stop sign. I was startled, and I immediately pulled into a parking lot on the left before I could completely pass the bus. I looped around and pulled back onto the street behind the bus. I think that I subconsciously felt I could avoid a penalty by re-entering play at the "back of the pack." And that, my friends, is how I know I watched entirely too much derby this past weekend.

Heart of Glass (City)

I left my place at roughly 5pm on this afternoon for the trek down I-75. (Sounds like my usual post, right?) Five miles later, I took the downtown Toledo exit and headed for Tony Packo's with friends to get some dinner before the bout between the Glass City Rollers (GCR) and the Circle City Derby Girls (CCDG) here in Toledo. So, it turns out this post is more like "Have Sports, Will Commute." Parking downtown was pretty scarce, and the restaurant filled quickly. Before just about every Toledo Mud Hens home game, "Packo's at the Park" is overflowing with diners, but I had never seen such on a winter evening. I eventually learned that the Toledo Walleye minor league hockey team had a game directly next door to the derby venue. Still, we made it in and out, pleasantly stuffed with chili, hot dogs, and dumplings, in time to stroll over to the Seagate Centre by 6:30. I sent the my dinner companions into the bout to find seats, while I waited outside the gate for two other friends.


Everyone eventually arrived, and I made my way to our seats (a third of the way up, roughly at the center of the back straightaway) with a few minutes to spare. Toledo's venue is no match for those of some of the larger leagues, but I think GCR does an excellent job with the space it has. Sightlines are generally very good, and bouts seem to sell out or come close all the time. I spent a lot of the first half explaining rules and strategy to a derby virgin, so if I am off on a detail or two, please forgive me. I'll give a few more observations on the Glass City bout experience a the end, but let's get to the recap.


*** GCR mostly employed a four-jammer rotation, and all of its jammers had periodic success against an excellent Circle City pack. Punk Monkey got the most turns with the star, as well as the nod for being the most effective of the group. On the open track, she showed excellent speed. Punk Monkey also threw in a few moves that had the crowd gasping and cheering. Unfortunately, many of those moves ended up with a quick stop at the rear end of one of Circle City's excellent positional blockers at the middle and front of the pack.


*** Other GCR jammers Slue Foot Suzie, Fairy Dangerous, and Pamazon had similar difficulties, but each of them pulled off at least a couple of excellent jams. Suzie got the crowd back into the game with a grand slam coming out of halftime. Fairy Dangerous, meanwhile, was all business. Either she lacked the lateral quickness of some of the other jammers or she just chose not to use it, but her style was that of a straight line bull rush. Pamazon has outstanding speed to go with her size, but once she was slowed or stopped within the pack, she had a tough time accelerating and squeezing through gaps. I generally found it tough to evaluate the Glass City jammers because they weren't getting much help from their pack.



*** The GCR pack struggled to match up with its Circle City counterpart for much of the evening. In the first half, it was porous, often managing neither defense nor offense as CCDG built a large lead. On many occasions, the Glass City blockers were completely boxed to the inside of the track, allowing fast and easy scoring passes on the outside. To their credit, the ladies from T-Town made some very good adjustments at halftime, and their packs then played much more stalwart defense. The walls of Toledo skaters at the back of the pack generally held up well, but some penalty troubles often left GCR struggling to avoid being blown out on 2-on-4 pack situations. Even after the adjustments, Glass City didn't get much offensive support from the pack, and that left its jammers to face some staunch walls with no support. Glass City has some good talent, but it must improve the two-way game within the pack in order to make great strides as a team.



*** While Toledo's pack struggled, a few of the GCR blockers had notable performances individually. Betty Floored did a nice job, both with positional blocking and with some punishing hits. I recall a particularly powerful jammer take out against Vivi Section. Slash & Burn played a smart game, and many of Glass City's lead jammer calls were a direct result of her shutting down a Circle City jammer at the middle or back of the pack. One memorable collision left Circle City's Liberty Spykes on the ground and out of bounds. Pamazon did some strong blocking work as well, and based on her work as a double-threat, I'd give her a slight nod over Punk Monkey as Glass City's MVP.



*** On the Circle City side, three jammers took the majority of the work with the star. Co-MVP for CCDG goes to Roll-R-Damage, who combined excellent speed and good lateral movement with a lot of help from her pack to simply dominate the first half. Her first triple grand slam took the CCDG lead to 28-2 after eight minutes, and she followed that with another 15-point jam at the midway point of the first half to extend the lead to 47-8. Roll-R-Damage was rarely contained throughout the game, and she continued to pile up the grand slams. While I don't have the stats, I would be shocked if she were not the bout's leading scorer.



*** Roll-R-Damage was not alone in effective jamming for CCDG. Liberty Spykes showed off some nifty moves to go with her outstanding speed. From where I was sitting, Liberty Spykes was the fastest skater on the track all evening. While she did absorb quite a few solid hits, she showed toughness in bouncing right back up to her skates and excellent acceleration to allow her to skate right past some of the Glass City walls after being knocked to the ground. I saw Liberty Spykes (and some of tonight's other Circle City skaters) in her first ever bout, a "fresh meat" exhibition bout here in Toledo. After watching her in that bout, I mentioned to one of her veteran teammates that she was the one to watch. She has thus far developed into an excellent jammer, and I see even better days to come. Thanks to her, I felt like a very good talent scout from my perch in the stands.



*** The third main jammer for Circle City was Vivi Section. While she certainly has her pack to thank for some low-stress scoring passes, she did some great work herself. Of all the CCDG jammers, I thought she did the best job with navigating tight packs to score. She's a very heady skater, and it seemed like she saw plays develop just an instant before the rest of the skaters on the track. Shock Hop took a break from her outstanding blocking for a rogue jam and came out of it with 20 points. Birthday girl Beattie Sedgwick didn't fare quite as well in her single jam, as it was called off scoreless within the first 30 seconds.



*** Don't cry too much for Beattie Sedgwick, though. Her masterful pivot play earned her Circle City's other co-MVP nod. Beattie consistently stymied the Toledo jammers at the front of the pack, often walling them off with superb one-on-one positional blocking. On many occasions, although she was dwarfed by Pamazon, she managed to completely shut down her quarry. More impressive yet was Beattie's management of the pack. The CCDG pack seemed to always know exactly what to do, changing speeds fluidly to take advantage of opportunities and thwart GCR's advantages. While there was generally a wall at the front of the pack, a Circle City blocker often drifted back to the middle or even the rear to give an assist. This was, by far, the best two-way pack play I have seen from Circle City, and Beattie Sedgwick deserves much of the credit.



*** Many other Circle City blockers turned in praiseworthy efforts. Faye Stunaway, in surprisingly limited track time, was everywhere. She was equally adept at serving as part of the inpenetrable front wall and at sliding back to play both offense and defense. Whenever she was on the track, fans could be assured of seeing her ride a Glass City jammer out of bounds or seal off the last Glass City blocker to allow her jammer a clear pass. Faye's smarts, quickness, and fluid skating contributed greatly to CCDG's pack dominance. While I will certainly miss naming some effective blockers for CCDG, I will note that I was particularly impressed by Shock Hop at the front of the pack. Also turning in very good performances were Nova Blaze, Bambi Lance, and Kimmie S'more.



*** As I'm sure you've guessed by now, Circle City was in control of this bout from the beginning. Outstanding defensive pack play held Glass City to only 18 ponts at the half (to Circle City's 76). The action did even out some as the second half began, and the lead jammer calls were roughly equal for most of that period. Circle City just had too much in every facet of the game, and a couple of big jams supplemented steady, disciplined play to produce a 157-42 victory for the ladies from Indy.



*** Allow me a few final thoughts on the overall Glass City bout experience. First of all, I wish that all Toledoans knew of this hidden gem of a team. The Glass City Rollers play hard and truly deliver a great athletic event. Glass City's referees and other support staff did excellent work, and the logistics of the event were very smooth overall. The announcing was very good, although a bit too loud at times (no need to yell into a microphone). One thing that would definitely improve the experience for me would be to silence the DJ's music during play. It detracts from the fans' comprehension of the announcers and adds to the overall excessive level of noise. Why not play the music during breaks and while the pack is forming, and allow the bout action to speak for itself? Also, I noticed that many of the fans are rushing out even during the last few minutes of play. Perhaps GCR should emphasize the availability of skaters for meet-and-greets after the bout. Along with this, it would have been nice to see the skaters remain on the floor a bit longer and make an effort to engage the fans who do come down. Overall, though, I had an excellent experience at my second GCR bout, and I'm looking forward to another in March.



I had originally planned to go directly home from the bout, but Circle City's Screama Donna convinced me to stop by the after-party at the Avalon Bar for a while. I made my way over before any of the skaters arrived and found a spot to relax and sip on my Diet Coke. (I'm not much of a drinker, and never at all if I am driving home.) Screama Donna was the first one I saw when the teams began to arrive, and I talked with her and with one of the announcers for a while. Congrats to Screama Donna, by the way, as she was the only fan to reply on Facebook to my giveaway offer. She will be receiving a limited-edition Hellarad hip bag from the Wild West Showdown, assuming that I can both find one and manage to not look ridiculous buying it.



When this little group moved on to eat, drink, and mingle, I found myself transported back to my early days watching the Cincinnati Rollergirls. I suddenly felt very shy and self-conscious, and I stood back, not attempting to break into the cliques of derby girls and support staff that had formed throughout the bar. I was about to give up and leave when I caught the attention of Faye Stunaway, with whom I had spoken at length the last time her team visited Toledo. Thankfully, she remembered me and was very sweet. We talked derby, dogs, and law school for a while, and I was glad that I got to see her. Finally, I summoned the courage to break into a cocoon of CCRG folks and meet Liberty Spykes. I told her about watching her very first bout and complimented her on her performance at this one. We had a short but friendly chat, and I decided to make my way home to walk my dog. I hope to meet more of both the Glass City and Circle City skaters and staff at upcoming bouts.



In a first for me, I am actually writing this recap the night of the bout (or technically the morning after). Given the travel involved, I could never hope to do this for Cincy bouts or others away from home. I hope that by writing immediately, I have remembered the details more accurately. I also hope that I have written something that makes sense, as it's been many years since my brain functioned effectively much past midnight.



So, tonight I had derby in the city of glass, and parking turned out to be a pain in the ass. Derby's the real thing, and I hope you'll find: GCR is worth getting behind.

A Hazy Shade of Winter

Well, it's been some time, time, time since I posted. So, I figured you might want to see what's become of me, while I looked around for my possibilities. Winter is typically a very slow season for me in terms of sports and travel, as I usually like to avoid weather-related travel issues and stay close to home. Also, it's a good chance for me to work some extra hours and make a bit of money for all of those event tickets, airfares, and tanks of gas. So we'll make it a short post today.

Certainly the biggest sports event since I last wrote was the Super Bowl. I gathered with a group of friends to watch, as usual. Aside from the excellent company, what a disaster! My most despised team took the title, after beating my Bears at Soldier Field in a horrible NFC Championship game. At least the game was entertaining, and the outcome was in doubt until the final minute. The same cannot be said for the commercials and the halftime show. This year featured possibly the worst overall group of commercials in memory. There were a few standouts, such as the pug crashing through the door and Roseanne Barr being crushed by a log. However, there were so many times I wondered if that was all that $3 million could buy. Hmmm, fund every food bank in Ohio for six months or a year, or make an obscenely stupid commercial of a cartoon Eminem? The halftime show was even more pathetic. Let's go back to the fogey rock. At least Springsteen, Paul McCartney, and The Who didn't expose us to drivel like this, nor the horrors of Fergie trying to sing without the assistance of a computer. (Note to self: Fergie as Kilroy / Mr. Roboto in remake of the classic Styx concept album?)

In other winter sports news, nothing happened. Well, fine then. The NBA and NHL played a number of mostly meaningless regular-season games, since more than half of the teams make the playoffs anyway. College basketball is in full-swing, and no team can stay #1 for more than a week or two without being knocked off. The Big East looks to be the best conference by far. That means that I will once again pick Syracuse, Georgetown, or Villanova in my brackets and lose miserably. Sorry if I seem a bit cranky. I am looking out at the 6"-plus of new snow we got overnight and wondering when spring will arrive.

It already has, you say? Ah, if only I could be in Arizona or Florida, as Spring Training brings the promise of a long summer of baseball. One of the other great parts about this time of year for me is that I'm planning my sports travels for the spring and summer. Here's what's already on the agenda:

*** Circle City Derby Girls at Glass City Rollers (tomorrow, Feb. 26): I am anxious to watch two of my favorite teams bout, and only fifteen minutes from home! I'll be there with a great group, five adults and three kids in total. I'm very interested to see how much Circle City has improved since I saw them at the Cincinnati Gardens. I also had the pleasure of seeing a "fresh meat" mini-bout between these two leagues here in the Glass City last year. Tomorrow night should be a fun start to my derby season.

*** Wild West Showdown derby tournament in Bremerton, WA (Mar. 4-6): I'm off to the Seattle area for three days of derby and a chance to visit with a great friend from college. The big-name teams in attendance are Rat, Rose, Denver, and Philly, but I am also very interested in seeing some of the smaller leagues in the West. After all, the likelihood of me getting to see them again is pretty slim. I did all the touristy things in my last visit to the area, so I'm looking for more fun ideas.

*** Anaheim Ducks at Chicago Blackhawks (Mar. 26): I'm hoping to get a look at the Stanley Cup when I attend my first Hawks home game in three years. A picture with the Cup would look great next to my picture with the White Sox World Series Trophy. The Hawks are having a rough time with their title defense, and they would actually be out of the playoffs if the season ended today. Still, the United Center will be loud. I can't wait for the Star-Spangled Banner. If you've never seen a Hawks game in Chicago, it's worth the trip just to experience this.

*** TBA at Cincinnati Rollergirls (Apr. 9): This will be my first CRG game of the season, and I can't wait. TBA is known as a hungry, up-and-coming team, and I always love to see both the Silent Lambs and the Black Sheep skate. Of course, I'm also looking forward to spending some time with The Librarian, Miss Print, Trauma, and so many more of my favorites.

*** Columbus Clippers at Toledo Mud Hens (Apr. 14): Mud Hens Opening Day is always one of my favorite days of the year, and this year brings a doubleheader. A pre-game buffet and two baseball games from my seats ten rows behind home plate will always make me happy.

*** Cincinnati Sports Doubleheader (Apr. 30-May 1): My trademark Rollergirls-Reds weekend. Naptown at CRG on Saturday night will be followed by Marlins at Reds on Sunday. I'm hoping that by going early in the season, I'll actually get to see both games without sweating too much.

So, as I trudge through the last weeks of winter, I have hope. Soon, I'll look around, the grass will be high, and the fields will be ripe. This is truly the springtime of my life!

The Best I've Ever Seen

Friday morning, I learned of the passing of the great Ron Santo. My grandfather, who saw more than his share of baseball from the 1930's through the 1980's (and beyond, on TV), always claimed that Ron Santo was the best third baseman he had ever seen in person. Now, my grandfather was a huge Cubs fan, but we're still comparing Santo to the likes of Eddie Mathews, Brooks Robinson, Mike Schmidt, and many other legends. When bladder cancer took Santo's life, he stood out as the most egregious omission from the Hall of Fame. Fifteen times, the writers had failed to elect him. The Veterans' Committee passed on enshrining him four times over eight years. While I believe Santo will eventually be enshrined posthumously, the voters should be ashamed that their snubs have cost him the chance to stand on the stage, make his speech, and enjoy the sport's highest honor.

All of this made me think: if I ever have grandchildren, what will I tell them? Who are the greatest players I have ever seen on the diamond? Over the past thirty years, I have seen roughly ten or fifteen major league games per season in person, for a total in excess of 300 games. By virtue of growing up in Chicago, I have had access to players in both leagues since well before interleague play began. So, I decided to rank the top five players at each position, limiting myself to only players I have seen in person. I will name and write a bit about my #1 choice, then rank my #2 through #5. My standards are subjective. I have placed players at the position with which I associate them most. In the case of players proven or highly suspected of using PED's, I rank them on the basis of how good they were before/after/negating the extra power. I'll also have some one-player superlatives. Finally, I will list the top five players active during this era (1980-2010) whom I have somehow never seen play in person. I would love to hear your choices for the best you have seen, in the comments below!

CATCHER: Johnny Bench. While I saw Bench play near the end of his career (just before the Reds started playing him at 3B to squeeze a bit more out of him), he was still the greatest. His quickness was diminished, but he was still an excellent defensive catcher. His offensive skills were on par with the younger Pudge Fisk. Plus, and I may be a bit biased here, he was the host of one of the greatest TV shows ever, The Baseball Bunch.

2. Carlton Fisk, 3. Ivan Rodriguez, 4. Mike Piazza, 5. Gary Carter

FIRST BASE: Todd Helton. First base was a tough call for me, as it took a while for me to settle on Helton over Jeff Bagwell. I love Helton's sweet swing, and he was the best defensive first baseman of his generation. His power numbers are nothing special (not quite 350 HR in 14 seasons), but his line-drive and on-base capabilities are superb. His OPS of .979 trumps Bagwell by 30 points or so, and he has walked considerably more often than he has struck out in his career.

2. Jeff Bagwell, 3. Eddie Murray, 4. Andres Galarraga, 5. (tie) Mark Grace and Pete Rose

SECOND BASE: Roberto Alomar. This was actually a three-way race for me, with Robbie edging Sandberg and Biggio. Alomar was smooth. His fielding got the notoriety, and he doesn't have the reputation of the other two as a feared hitter. Even though he had less power than the others, he still managed to tally 210 HR over his career. His OPS was actually higher than either of the other two, he stole the most bases, and he won the most gold gloves (10 to Ryno's 9). I was tempted to knock Robbie down a bit for the bouncing around he did to drag a bit more out of his career, but my memories of seeing him are from his best years, especially in the early 90's, when he was a huge part of the Blue Jays' mini-dynasty.

2. Ryne Sandberg, 3. Craig Biggio, 4. Jeff Kent, 5. (tie) Brandon Phillips and Robinson Cano

THIRD BASE: Mike Schmidt. This was one of my easiest calls. Schmidt had it all. He hit almost 550 HR, he was one of the best defensive 3B of all time, and he even had a bit of speed (averaging more than 10 SB per season). He was one of my first favorite players, as my baseball memories really start with the Phillies' magical 1980 season, in which he won the MVP. I didn't see him in person until a few years after that, but he was still in his prime into the mid-1980's, winning his third and final MVP award in 1986. The Society for American Baseball Research (SABR) rated him the 16th greatest player in the history of MLB, and he and Johnny Bench (#19) are the only two in the top 25 to have played into the 1980's. The call of Schmidt's 500th home run, by the great Harry Kalas, still gives me shivers. "Swing and a long drive, there it is, number 500! The career 500th home run for Michael Jack Schmidt!"

2. Chipper Jones, 3. George Brett, 4. Wade Boggs, 5. Evan Longoria

SHORTSTOP: Alex Rodriguez. If this were an award for role models, he wouldn't be allowed in the same area code as Ripken. Still, if you look at the player he was before the years in which he admitted to steroid use, I've never seen a shortstop with more all-around talent. A-Rod is the classic five-tool player. He finished second in the MVP voting as a 20-year-old and already had three consecutive years of 40+ HR and 110+ RBI by the age of 24. If his body holds up, he should finish as the all-time HR champion. His numbers will be tainted, but not nearly as much as those of the current record holder.

2. Cal Ripken Jr., 3. Robin Yount, 4. Ozzie Smith, 5. (tie) Barry Larkin and Derek Jeter

LEFT FIELD: Rickey Henderson. Aside from Bonds in his most juiced years, I have never seen a single player affect the opponents' game plans more than Rickey. He is, by far, the greatest leadoff hitter of all time. He could hit for power, owning the most leadoff home runs in MLB history and 297 total. He got on base, as he is second all -time in walks. Once he got on base, the fireworks began. He is the best base-stealer of all-time, holding both the single-season and career records. Rickey also has scored more runs than any player in history. Sure, he did hang on way past his prime to pad some stats, but the guy led the AL in stolen bases with 62, at the age of 39! He was, by most accounts, an egotistical jerk. Still, he had no equal from the #1 spot in the order.

2. Tim Raines, 3. Barry Bonds (pre-juice), 4. Bo Jackson, 5. Kirk Gibson

CENTER FIELD: Ken Griffey, Jr. "The Kid" was an absolute joy to watch. Hi sweet, fluid uppercut swing was a thing of beauty, an effortless and classic lefty power stroke. His glovework was amazing, and he often went above the wall to rob opponents of homers. He had some speed, a solid arm, and the personality to be a fan favorite. He won ten straight gold gloves and surpassed 40 home runs in six of seven consecutive seasons. He had one of the most outstanding (non-juiced) offensive seasons of my era. posting a .304 average, 56 HR, 125 runs, 147 RBI, and 15 SB on his way to the AL MVP award in 1997. Of course, this was all in the first half of his career, with Seattle. Once he turned 30 and joined the Reds, injuries began to wear away the man who was on pace to be the best baseball player of the past 50 years. He showed flashes of greatness over the next 7-8 years and eventually ended up with 630 HR. I saw more of him in the first half of his career, and I choose to remember the sustained excellence of his days in Seattle.

2. Kirby Puckett, 3. Torii Hunter, 4. Andy Van Slyke, 5. Jim Edmonds

RIGHT FIELD: Ichiro Suzuki. Ichiro wins a close one over Larry Walker and Dave Winfield. Simply put, he does things no one else can do. His throws from right are legendary, and he covers an immense area of the outfield, both of which have contributed to him winning a Gold Glove each of his ten years in the majors. He has averaged over 220 hits per year, setting the major league record with 262 in 2004 and leading the league in seven of his ten seasons. Ichiro also contributes almost 40 SB per season and high single-digit homers, although those who have watched him over the years in batting practice claim that he could double or triple the longballs if he focused on his power stroke. His funky, run-to-first-as-you-swing approach makes it even more astonishing that he hits so consistently.

2. Larry Walker, 3. Dave Winfield, 4. Reggie Jackson, 5. Andre Dawson

DESIGNATED HITTER: Frank Thomas. Although Pujols may have something to say about it before his career is over, the Big Hurt stands as the overall best hitter I have ever seen. He has prodigious power, otherworldly plate discipline, and a knack for putting line drives all over the field. Thomas won back-to-back MVP awards in 1993-1994 and was robbed of another in 2000 by a juiced Jason Giambi in a close vote. He even finished 4th in the MVP voting at the age of 38, with Oakland in 2006. In the strike-shortened 1994 campaign (113 games), he finished with a .353 average, 34 HR, 106 runs, 101 RBI. and a ridiculous 1.217 OPS. I was there for his second game in the majors, and I saw him play in person perhaps 90 or 100 times overall. I have not seen his equal.

2. Jim Thome, 3. Edgar Martinez, 4. Paul Molitor, 5. Greg Luzinski

LEFT-HANDED (STARTING) PITCHER: Steve Carlton. The man they called "Lefty" had been pitching in the majors for fifteen years and had won two Cy Young awards before I discovered him as part of the earlier-mentioned 1980 Phillies. He was dominant that season, winning his third Cy with a 24-9 record, 2.34 ERA, and league-leading 286 K's. I learned how to throw a slider by watching him on The Baseball Bunch, and followed his career closely, finally getting to see him pitch in person at Wrigley in 1983, the last of his truly outstanding years (at the age of 38). The wheels began to come off a couple years later, and he bounced around to many other teams. I was so excited when he had a brief stint with the White Sox in 1986, and even though his stuff was mostly gone, the excitement of seeing my all-time favorite pitcher take the mound for my favorite team was unreal. He was, until passed by Nolan Ryan, the all-time strikeout leader. He currently stands fourth on the all-time list.

2. Randy Johnson, 3. Tom Glavine, 4. Jim Abbott, 5. CC Sabathia

RIGHT-HANDED (STARTING) PITCHER: Greg Maddux. They didn't call him "The Professor" for nothing. He was simply a master of pitching. Maddux certainly didn't have the power arm of a Nolan Ryan, nor the amazing out pitch of a Steve Carlton. His weapons were precision location and his immense baseball acumen. Maddux won four consecutive NL Cy Young awards, and in the final two of them (1994 and 1995), he posted sub-1.70 ERA's. His 355 career wins stand as the 8th-best career total, and the most by any pitcher active after 1965. He has the best strikeout to walk ratio of any of the eleven pitchers with 3300 or more career K's. He won 18 Gold Glove awards, the most of any player in history. It was a privilege to see him pitch a handful of times at Wrigley, both for and against the Cubs.

2. Nolan Ryan, 3. Roger Clemens, 4. Ferguson Jenkins, 5. John Smoltz

RELIEF PITCHER: Mariano Rivera. He has one pitch. Hitters know it's coming. Yet, in his 14 years as a closer, no one has consistently solved him. At age 40, he is as good as, perhaps better than, he was at 29 or 30. Mo has 559 career saves, second all-time, and he should surpass Trevor Hoffman's 601 in either 2011 or 2012. He has been even more dominant in the postseason, posting an 8-1 record, 42 saves, a 0.71 ERA, and 109 K's to only 21 walks.

2. Rollie Fingers, 3. Lee Smith, 4. Bruce Sutter, 5. Goose Gossage

OVERALL SUPERLATIVES:
Best Athlete: Bo Jackson
Best Power: Jim Thome
Best Speed: Rickey Henderson
Best Infield Arm: Shawon Dunston
Best Outfield Arm: Ichiro Suzuki
Most Intimidating: Randy Johnson
Best Hitter: Frank Thomas
Best Pitcher: Greg Maddux

TOP 5 PLAYERS FROM THE ERA WHOM I HAVE NEVER SEEN PLAY:
1. Albert Pujols
2. Pedro Martinez
3. Dale Murphy
4. Roy Halladay
5. Jim Rice

Life, In A Nutshell

Since I once again find myself playing catch-up on writing about my travels and sports in general, it must be time for a wrap-up post. Here's a little bit about what I've been up to since August 1st. Note: the sections are in chronological order, so if any part doesn't appeal to you, feel free to skip it and read the parts you like.

August 13-17: San Francisco and Oakland

This was one of the two "big" baseball trips I had planned for 2010. Earlier in the year, I had crossed Atlanta and Tampa off my list on a driving tour through the Southeast. On this trip, I visited California for the first time since I was an infant, timing the trip to catch both the Giants and A's. I was also excited because my good friend and fraternity brother Brian (who happens to have one of the sharpest baseball minds I have encountered) was flying down from Seattle to join me. He used his hotel points to hook us up with a great hotel, the Sheraton at Fisherman's Wharf, which was only a few short blocks from Pier 39 and the waterfront.

When I drove to the Detroit airport that morning, it was so muggy that I had to run my air conditioning at 4am. When I stepped out of SFO, I was greeted with the most wonderful, cool, crisp air and 60-degree late morning temperatures. I was so very glad that I chose August for this trip! I had gone online to purchase tickets for the Alcatraz ferry and tour about a week earlier. If any of you are considering checking out "The Rock," make sure you buy those as early as possible. A week before my visit, virtually every possible tour slot was sold out. I managed to get one early that Friday afternoon, and once I walked down to the pier to check in, I saw a sign that all tours were sold out for a full week thereafter. I stopped in a small restaurant for a snack while I waited to hear from Brian. Unfortunately, Friday the 13th was unlucky for him, as his flight was delayed, and we were unsure if he'd make it to the pier in time for our ferry. By the time his plane hit the ground and he called, it was obvious that he wouldn't make it in time, so I made my way onto the top deck of the boat, hoping for some good photo opportunities.

The ride over to the island was fun, and I did manage to get some decent shots of the local scenery. Upon our arrival, a very helpful ranger gave us some tips on exploring the island and taking the tour. The prison itself is set at the top of a large hill, and I began the long walk to the top, trudging up steep paths with occasional switchbacks until my good leg felt an awful lot like my bad leg. I arrived at the building and stood in line to get the self-guided audio tour. The line itself winds through the intake and shower area of the prison, and the tour is available in so many languages. I think I was the only English-speaking person in a stretch of about ten individuals or families in line, and I was definitely able to pick up folks speaking Italian, Spanish, German, and a couple of Asian languages nearby.

I highly recommend the audio tour if you visit Alcatraz. It's narrated by former guards and inmates, and it does a very nice job of explaining life in the prison and some of the notable events in its history. I was able to see the cell blocks, recreation yard, control booths, and more. Plus, the views of the city from the island are magnificent! As the tour finished, I wandered into the gift shop, where the last guard to leave the prison when it closed in 1963 was signing copies of his book. He graciously signed a copy for my friend Andy and posed for a picture. Upon my return to the city, I made my way back to the hotel to catch up with Brian, and we had dinner and wandered the city a bit that evening.

Saturday was devoted primarily to sightseeing. We went for breakfast, then took a walk down to Presidio Park. My uncle was stationed at the Presidio (in its incarnation as a U.S. Army fort) when he returned from Korea, and I wanted to see it. Unfortunately, the fort itself was not convenient to reach from Crissy Field at the Marina, and we settled for some great pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge. Of course, I had to wander the famous Pier 39. The sea lions were very cool, but the rest of it was basically a bunch of overpriced shops and restaurants. The place reminded me of Chicago's Navy Pier, a tourist trap with a few cool things to see and beautiful waterfront views. We also rode the famous cable cars, which trivia buffs know are the only moving U.S. landmark. Dinner was an excellent all-you-can-eat dim sum at a little hole in the wall in Chinatown, called Dick Lee's. A trip to Ghirardelli Square capped the evening.

Sunday brought my first ever San Francisco Giants game. We made our way down to the beautiful AT&T Park, dressed for the cool, windy conditions for which Giants games are known. We walked past a statue of the great Willie Mays on our way to the gate and found the excellent box seats (lower deck, halfway up, just past third base) that Brian had arranged. We were lucky enough to catch two-time Cy Young winner Tim Lincecum's turn in the rotation. It amazes me that someone so tiny (at least by professional athlete standards) can throw like that. I have a suspicion that his violent motion will limit his longevity, but it sure is fun to watch when he's on his game. Sadly, that was not the case for our visit, as Lincecum was a bit wild and very hittable. He didn't survive the fourth inning, and despite a HR from amazing rookie Buster Posey, the Giants dropped the game to division rival San Diego by a score of 8-2.

As for the ballpark itself, the place is beautiful. It has a classic baseball feel to it, and the view out over McCovey Cove in right field is awesome. The prices are pretty typical for a major league ballpark, and the fans seemed both passionate and pretty knowledgeable. I found the food decent, with the highlight being a very good Italian sausage sandwich and the weak point being some greasy, soggy garlic fries. The biggest surprise on that day was the weather. Although the forecast called for mid-50's and cloudy, the gametime conditions were in the low 70's and blazing sun. I quickly shrugged off my jacket and watched the game in my t-shirt, but Brian was wearing a warm, long-sleeve shirt and actually ended up buying a t-shirt for himself to wear. Unfortunately, neither of us brought any sunscreen, and we could not find any for sale there. So we suffered with very uncomfortable sunburns for the remainder of the trip.

Sunday evening featured an excellent sourdough bread bowl filled with clam chowder from the world-famous Boudin Bakery, as well as a trip to Walgreen's for some Solarcaine. The Oakland A's game was Monday night, but that left the day on Monday to wrap up the sightseeing wish list. We opted for two bus tours, the first of which was a very interesting loop around the city atop a double-deck bus. Of course, I had to see and cross the Golden Gate Bridge, so we then took an open-top, single-deck bus to do so. The sights were magnificent, especially on and around the bridge. I managed to get some great pictures, and I have posted some to our Facebook page (more details on that at the end of this post).

Monday afternoon meant time to catch the train to Oakland for the A's game. As much as I was looking forward to bringing my ballpark count to 23 out of 30, I was not expecting great things from the ballpark known derisively as the "Oakland Mausoleum." The Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum lived up to my low expectations. There is absolutely nothing around the ballpark, which makes it pointless to arrive early or find something to do afterwards. Actually, I should not even call this a ballpark, as it's really a football stadium that hosts baseball games. I bought first row seats in the lower deck, just past first base. Yet, we were still farther from the action than I have been in the upper deck of some ballparks. The place is an absolutely ugly hunk of concrete, devoid of any charm at all. The staff was very friendly, and with the actual attendance not even surpassing that of an average Toledo Mud Hens game, there were few lines. The food was mediocre, with a nice barbecue pork sandwich offsetting yet another disappointing order of garlic fries.

The game itself didn't feature much action. The visiting Blue Jays took an early lead, and the only real drama was watching their starter, Shawn Marcum, take a no-hitter into the 7th inning. I have never seen a no-hitter in person, and I hope it happens before I die. It was not to be on this evening, as A's outfielder Conor Jackson hit a solo HR. Marcum finished his complete game victory, yielding only that hit. As the game ended, we took a long, cold walk across the pedestrian bridge and back to the train station, and I was thankful that I had no reason to ever visit Oakland again.

Tuesday morning was our departure from the Bay Area. Brian's flight was a bit earlier than mine, but eventually I made my way to the airport and returned to reality. The A's game notwithstanding, it was an outstanding trip, and I'll have many great memories of the sights and time spent in San Francisco. To the best of my knowledge, I did not leave any vital organs there.


August 29: Yankees at White Sox (#35 Retired)


Sunday, August 29 was a date I had anticipated for most of the baseball season. My good friend and fraternity brother Owen had joined me in making the drive from Toledo to Chicago for the White Sox game. Of course, I am always excited to see my hometown ChiSox play, but this day brought a very important bonus. The team was retiring the #35 jersey of my favorite Sox player ever, "The Big Hurt," Frank Thomas. Thomas will almost certainly be a first-ballot Hall of Famer when he becomes eligible, and I hope to be in Cooperstown to see his induction. For now, I settled for the unveiling of his number and likeness alongside the team's other greats on the left field wall. As an extra treat, another friend and fraternity brother had already planned a trip to Chicago to visit his wife's family and decided to buy a ticket to the game and join us. Coincidentally, his name is Brian, and he is also one of the smartest baseball people I know, but he hails from outside of Washington, D.C.

From my vantage point in the upper deck, down the right field line, I saw many Sox legends, as well as Big Hurt's teammates take the field. It was then time for the man himself to address the crowd. He spoke eloquently and emotionally about his many years on the Southside and his attachment to the team and its fans. When he mentioned his only World Series title, as an injured member of the 2005 White Sox, the fans erupted. As he concluded his speech, he received a loud and extended standing ovation, and everyone watched as #35 was unveiled along the wall. For this fan, who had been present as a 14-year-old for Frank's second major league game in 1990, it was a magical moment.

Unfortunately, the Sox were unable to muster much offense against the not-so-legendary Yankees starter Ivan Nova. Gavin Floyd gave up only two runs in 6 2/3 innings against a B-team lineup (no A-Rod, no Teixeira), but that was enough for the Yankees to overcome the home team, 2-1. On the plus side, I did get to see quite possibly the best relief pitcher in baseball history, Mariano Rivera, come in to get the save. Despite the outcome, I was very pleased to spend time with good friends and see perhaps the greatest hitter of our era honored.

September 3: Mets at Cubs

Once per year, I take my aunt (a huge Cubs fan) to a game at Wrigley for her birthday. This is also the only time I ever cheer for the Cubs for any reason. We had excellent seats (lower deck box, right field line) and the most perfect weather imaginable. We even received bobbleheads of pitcher Carlos Zambrano playing soccer, which was somewhat odd, since most baseball fans are not really into soccer and Zambrano had been previously suspended by the team and sent to anger management treatment. A fan walking by bumped my bobblehead and knocked its box over, and the figurine proceeded to cry and writhe for almost two minutes before it realized a foul would not be called. The visiting Mets stormed to a 3-0 lead in the top of the first off ineffective starter Randy Wells, and it took the life out of the ballpark. I told my aunt not to worry, as today seemed like the kind of day that would feature a lot of offense. Alfonso Soriano and Blake DeWitt each backed me up with three-run HR for the Cubs, and the Northsiders led 7-4 after six innings. As the beer flowed freely, the Wrigley denizens got a lot more animated, and their team survived a few scares (and a pinch-hitting appearance by Mud Hens legend Mike Hessman!) to eventually win 7-6.



2010 World Series

Just a few thoughts on the World Series. I was rooting for the Rangers, since I like many of their players, the fans are a long-suffering bunch, and I am generally an American League fan. That said, I was not at all upset to see the Giants bring San Francisco its first baseball title ever, the Giants' first since their New York days in 1954. I also really enjoy seeing a team with so many cast-offs succeed. Half of the Giants regular position players were not with the team at the end of 2009, and quite a few of those were really unwanted by other teams. There is a definite schadenfreude in seeing teams with mega-payrolls and many "superstars" (Yankees, Red Sox, Cubs, Angels, et al) sitting home and watching the Rangers and Giants play for the title. Also, the Giants' victory made 2010 the fourth of the previous six years in which I have seen the eventual World Series champions play a home game (2005 White Sox, 2007 Red Sox, 2008 Phillies, 2010 Giants). I guess I'm doing something right with my baseball travels!



Nov. 5-7: WFTDA Championships


At the time the Cincinnati Rollergirls (CRG) were battling at North Central Regionals for a berth in the WFTDA Championship Tournament in Chicago, I decided that I would travel to cheer them on if they made it. Although they played very well, pushing some outstanding teams to the limit, a top-three finish barely eluded them. I thought it would still be fun to go and see some of the great teams from across the country, but I put the decision on the back burner for a while to see if my schedule would cooperate. As some of the CRG skaters announced that they would attend, I began to lean in favor of going, both to visit with them and to see teams like Oly, Gotham, and Rocky Mountain. I managed to find a substitute for the class I teach on Saturday mornings. Unfortunately, I could not find a way to clear my schedule enough to stay in Chicago and see all three days of action, so I settled on attending Saturday's six-bout schedule.


I arrived in Chicago midday on Friday and spent the remainder of that day visiting with family and relaxing a bit before what promised to be a long Saturday. When that morning arrived, I made a relatively easy 30-minute drive down to the UIC Pavilion and found a place to park just after the doors opened at 9am. By the time I had purchased my ticket ($30, and zero in Ticketbastard fees) and made my way inside, many of the best GA seats had already filled in. I camped out near the jammer line and managed to hold a block of seats for the CRG skaters, who had yet to arrive. I sat back and watched warm-ups and the first half of Gotham vs. Texas (my first ever live tourney action) before learning that the CRG ladies were sitting in a different section.


I settled into a seat in the row behind Miss Print and others and was quickly joined by Poppy Chulo and the Librarian, who both sat with me for most of the morning's action. As we enjoyed the Rocky Mountain vs. Charm City quarterfinal, I got to meet a few CRG skaters whom I didn't know previously, such as Buckhead Betty and Pistol Whippin Wendy. We chatted about a variety of topics as we cheered for Charm City to keep it close. I learned quite a few things over the span of the first two bouts, including the skaters' views on Men's Roller Derby (mixed, but somewhat more negative than positive) and that a male cheerleader dressed as a banana is easily one of the worst things about roller derby, and possibly about life in general. Most importantly, though, I learned so much about the sport. I must admit to feeling very stupid as The Librarian, Poppy Chulo, Miss Print, Susie Shinsplintski, and others pointed out so many strategy points that I missed. It was a great experience, and I was very grateful to learn from experts, especially those as delightful as my companions. I can only hope that my analysis of future bouts is more intelligent because of the insights I gained.


The afternoon's action began with Philly knocking out Kansas City. While there was a good deal of conversation about the action, in which the Liberty Belles hung on to win by 21, by far the most chatter focused on Philly's attire. The Belles wore low-cut, tank-top style shirts, and even the smaller girls were showing off some cleavage. Unfortunately for some of the larger skaters, the uniforms did not seem to come with reinforced undergarments. As they rounded the turn in front of our seats, many of them looked as though they had two pendula hung around their necks. It bordered on uncomfortable for many spectators, so I can only imagine the struggle for the skaters to manage such mammary oscillation. As a single man, I must admit to generally enjoying the show, but I would have gladly offered t-shirts to a few of Philly's skaters to cover up.


After that third quarterfinal, most of the CRG crew and I made plans to head to Giordano's for some awesome deep dish pizza. To minimize the amount of action we'd miss, we managed to make a reservation and order the pizzas ahead of time. After much debate, we decided to leave at halftime of the Oly vs. Windy City quarterfinal, in order to make it back to the arena in time for the Rocky Mountain vs. Gotham semifinal. While a huge majority of the crowd, including myself, was cheering for the home team, I didn't have much faith in its ability to knock off Oly. The fans' support certainly seemed to drive Windy City to skate even harder, but there was a clear talent disparity, and Oly steadily increased its lead as the bout neared halftime. Although we weren't there to see it, it appears that Windy City struggled significantly in the second half and saw its season end at that point.


Fifteen of us took the half-mile walk from the UIC Pavilion down to Giordano's for my favorite Chicago treat. We arrived and were seated immediately, chatting as our server struggled to get us situated. I am somewhat surprised that more than one person wasn't assigned to manage a group our size, and the service was generally subpar. Fortunately, once the pizza arrived, things got considerably better, as many Chicago-style pizza virgins experienced the splendor of deep dish. We enjoyed good conversation, and I was glad for the opportunity to get to know Candy Kickass and her husband, as well as Rabid Derby Fan Earl and Penal Eyes. Our dinner excursion was one of my favorite parts of the day, and by the time four large pies defeated the last of our appetites, I was ready to stroll back over and watch more roller derby. If you ever get the chance, I highly recommend engaging in a session of mutual mastication with your favorite derby girls.


Although we were all suffering from pizza coma, we settled in to watch the first semifinal matchup of the evening. I was very excited to see two of the sport's titans battle, especially having seen the immense talent and contrasting styles of Gotham and Rocky Mountain earlier that day. When we settled back into our seats, the arrangement shifted a bit, and I ended up with Pistol Whippin Wendy and The Librarian for most of the evening. Having never spoken with Wendy prior to that day, I was very impressed by her knowledge and personality, and truly enjoyed sitting with her. In terms of the bout, Rocky Mountain was very impressive. Even amazing jammers Bonnie Thunders and Suzy Hotrod were usually left frustrated in their attempts to manage a very strong and smart Rocky Mountain pack. Gotham seemed a bit more fatigued than its opponent, and I wondered if their lack of championship-caliber depth at jammer played a part in that. The crowd was very pro-Gotham, but the ladies from NYC were relegated to the third-place bout.


The final bout of the evening featured Oly and Philadelphia, and few expected Philly to keep up. True to form, Oly used its superior speed and pack play to efficently carve out an increasing lead. By this point, virtually no one in the building was cheering for Oly. In fact, a member of our group strongly suggested that the wheel of a skate be introduced into the feminine region of one of the Oly jammers. It's safe to say that in thirty-plus years of attending sports, I had never heard that particular outburst. After Philly's championship hopes were dashed, the CRG skaters and I wearily prepared to leave. They picked up their leftovers from my car, and we parted ways until March. I will certainly miss CRG and getting to spend time with some great women over the next five months, but I do hope to make it to a few Glass City Rollers bouts over the winter to feed my derby addiction.


I'll leave you with a few overall impressions of the Uproar By The Lakeshore. First, the Windy City Rollers deserve high praise for an outstanding job of hosting the tournament. Everything was orderly and well run, from the scoreboard and sound system to the bout scheduling and the helpful WCR skaters greeting fans inside the arena doors. Also, there was a strong pro-North Central and pro-East region sentiment among the fans (or perhaps more anti-West). While the top Western teams are absolutely magnificent squads, I believe that fans' distaste for "slow derby" and the West Coast style of play contributed to the imbalance of support at least as much as geography did. I'm interested to see if WFTDA will accede to the preferences of so many fans and ban or limit slow derby in its next rules revision.


I really enjoyed getting to see roller derby at its highest level. Aside from Philly and Windy City, I had never seen any of the teams that participated on Saturday. It was a treat to see so many of the best athletes on the track. Even more memorable for me was getting to spend so much time with the CRG skaters who attended. I honestly think I had more interaction with them in one day than I have over the years I have watched them in Cincy. For once, I didn't feel like so much of an outsider. Sure, some of those in attendance barely talked to me, but I really appreciated those who made me feel very welcome. Finally, I have a bittersweet announcement: Ruth Enasia of Windy City is no longer my secret roller derby girlfriend. It's really nothing to do with her, as she skated very well and remains quite attractive. I simply found someone new, someone who will similarly barely know that I exist, someone with whom my chances are about as good as my chances of being the Opening Day first baseman for the White Sox next season. Perhaps, unlike Ruth, this beautiful and charming skater will come to know she's my girlfriend before I have to break up with her. But I doubt it.

November 8: ESPN removes Joe Morgan from Sunday Night Baseball broadcasts

I'll miss play-by-play man Jon Miller, but Morgan was absolutely the worst baseball analyst I have ever heard. With both Morgan and John Madden no longer "gracing" our airwaves, the intelligence level of sports broadcasting will jump measurably.

Epilogue:

With that, we're up-to-date. My next trip is a short one, a quick drive to Detroit with friends for the Bears vs. Lions game in December. As you may know, the titles of my posts are always songs, and I generally manage to tie the song into the final few sentences. There's not much to say here, except for the fact that Barenaked Ladies factored into one of the trips described above. I'll let you use your imagination as to which one and how!

Note on pictures: I am starting to post pictures from my trips on our Facebook page (Click Here). I will add more over the next week or two, so why not stop over and look? While you're there, be sure to "like" Have Sports, Will Travel and receive updates!