Seasons Change

I left the Glass City on Saturday afternoon, headed for the Cincinnati Gardens and the first Cincinnati Rollergirls (CRG) home bout of the 2012 season. Owen was riding shotgun, and we had decided to stay until Sunday, so we planned accordingly. In addition to watching some roller derby and hanging out with some of the skaters, I had a further goal. I was determined to overcome my recent recap writing malaise and to make enjoying myself the first priority during the bouts. If you read my previous post, you know that my recent attempts to raise the detail level of my recaps were a resounding failure. I enjoyed my time at the bouts less, because I was too worried about getting every detail as I watched the action. I noticed that I was missing out on the "big picture" of the bout action, and the data overload left me unable to write a coherent recap.

So, my plan for the evening was to take notes only when I had something major to observe: a big momentum swing, a strategy that succeeded or failed, or a particularly noteworthy act by a skater or team. I knew that my recap would be shorter and less detailed, but I felt it was best to get back to my successful approach of earlier seasons. I had to remind myself that writing this blog is not a job. It should reflect the joy of watching great roller derby, not the drudgery of accounting on wheels.

We arrived at the Gardens a bit after 5pm, ready to partake in some tailgating. We had stopped at a gas station to pick up a couple of tall cans of Bud Select for Owen. I was sticking to the hard stuff, Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi. Unfortunately, there wasn't much of anything going on in the parking lot, despite the beautiful weather. We stood outside, stretched, and chatted a bit, before I decided to go inside and get his ticket from Will Call. (Thanks, Miss Print!) On my way to Will Call, I encountered The Librarian at the Girl Scout Cookies table. (Every sportswriter should have that sentence saved as autotext.) We had a great chat and got to catch up a little, as we hadn't seen each other in nine months or so. When I stopped and glanced around, I saw that the lines to get into the seating area stretched the entire length of the concourse, so I hurried to get the ticket. It was almost 6pm, so I ducked outside to find Owen finishing his beer, and we made our way inside.

Upon clearing the turnstile, I made a beeline for my favorite spot, the front row of floor seats at turn three. Owen started in on the terrible, cheap beers while I relaxed and took in the sights. A quick hello with Miss Print and perusal of the bout program helped the time fly by, and the intros for the first bout were upon us. The abject crappiness of the sound system ensured that we had no idea what was happening, but we managed to get the gist and stood for a solid rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner.

DISCLAIMER: I am just a fan. I make no guarantee as to the accuracy of any facts contained in the recaps. I do watch the action closely, but the primary objective of this blog is to give my overall impressions of my experiences. Now, on to the recaps!

FIRST BOUT: CRG Violent Lambs (B-Team) vs. Arch Rival Roller Girls (ARRG) St. Lunachix (B-Team)

The first bout of the evening started with an impressive display by CRG, For the first three or four jams, the Lambs did everything right. Their pack won the initial battles to spring jammers for lead status. With the CRG jammer in the lead, the pack played offense, giving some beautiful assists and keeping Arch Rival from establishing walls. The Lambs' jammers were heady, picking up points and calling jams at just the right time, and CRG opened up a 14-1 advantage in the first few minutes. ARRG then decided to switch tactics, and the rugby derby scrums took center stage. For almost as long as slow pack starts have existed, CRG have struggled with them, especially early in bouts. This night was no different, as ARRG began to take control, winning lead on almost every jam. Once the jammers were out of the pack on the initial pass, the defensive pack play tightened, and St. Louis rarely racked up big points. The steady stream of jam wins for ARRG continued, however, and the Lambs' packs looked a bit shaken. They seemed to go into a shell and played to not get blown out, trying to clamp down on defense and forgetting for minutes at a time to assist their own jammers. By the 8 1/2 minute mark in the half, ARRG had scored 28 unanswered points to take a 29-14 lead.

CRG finally got a power jam, but jammer Imma Tattooher had been battered for well over a minute prior to the ARRG penalty, and she couldn't take advantage. (I later found out she was injured.) Hot Slice got a chance to go solo, but she picked up only a single grand slam. This was mainly due to some nifty work by the Arch Rival pack, which sped away and killed the penalty beautifully. Near the end of the half, Polly Rocket took the star for CRG, hoping to cut the deficit a bit going into the break. ARRG's Oregon Betrayal, however, laid a pulverizing hit on her, moving quickly and decisively from the inside to the outside line to flatten the CRG jammer. Showing great toughness, Polly got back up and fought her way to four hard-earned CRG points. Just before halftime, Arch Rival's jammer Beaster Bunny took the momentum back on a dazzling jam, showing off a hellacious juke that left CRG's Railroad missing an attempted takeout by at least four feet. ARRG went into the locker room with a 47-25 advantage.

The first 12 minutes of the second half were more of the same. The teams traded points, both packs doing a solid job on defense. The going was tough for jammers on both sides, with hard hits raining down and limited offensive pack play. One CRG highlight was a jam in which Bombtrack used some nice moves to take lead jammer status. It looked like the ARRG jammer was going to trail her by only a few feet coming out of the pack, with only Cherry Choke to beat at the front. That's when Cherry entered full-on Kinney mode, weaving and sliding effortlessly, seeming to anticipate her quarry's every move. Cherry must have held that one-on-one block for 10-15 seconds until other CRG blockers came to help, and Bombtrack made a nice scoring pass for the grand slam. CRG had closed the gap to 69-48 with 6 1/2 minutes to go.

The Lambs could not hold the momentum, however. Sista Shovechild was sent off on a jammer penalty, and the ensuing ARRG power jam both extended the lead (to 81-48) and bled precious time from the game clock. With roughly three minutes remaining, Cherry Choke wore the star for CRG. This time, Bombtrack returned the favor. Even though Cherry did not get lead, pivot Bombtrack led a sharp CRG pack, which shut down the ARRG jammer. Cherry proceeded to put up a 15-0 jam, leaving 20 seconds on the clock for one last push. Amazingly, the Lunachix jammer was sent off on a major, leaving Hot Slice all by herself and able to let the jam run the full two minutes. As the partisan crowd grew exponentially louder, Hot Slice started to add points. The ARRG pack, however, hung tough, knocking her around just enough to keep her from making up the entire deficit. When the final whistle blew, Slice's 15-0 jam left ARRG with a slim 84-78 victory. Over the last five minutes or so, it was obvious that ARRG were struggling and the Lambs were gaining the edge. Had this been a 60-minute game, I'm almost certain the outcome would have swung the other way.

Hot Slice and Sista Shovechild were the most-utilized jammers for CRG. They both had their moments, but I found it pretty difficult to judge the jammers in this bout. I couldn't tell whether the main jammers were having an off game or the packs' lack of offensive awareness was more of an external constraint. Nonetheless, I was impressed by the way Slice and Shovechild battled through some very tough packs. The lack of space to maneuver meant that the nice jukes and cuts I had seen from both of them the week before were few and far between. With the slow, dense packs, jammers were forced to be patient and employ more of the "wrecking-ball" approach to get through. I thought Shovechild made the transition to this style a bit more quickly. Unfortunately, this type of jamming also makes a skater more penalty-prone, and it led to a momentum-killing trip to the box for her in the second half.

Cherry Choke and Bombtrack also took multiple turns with the star for Cincinnati. Both of them were used as double-threats, also spending quite a few jams wearing the pivot stripe. From where I sat, they were the two most effective CRG players on the track. Other than that, however, my two co-MVP's for the bout had little in common in their performances. Cherry Choke is all about consistency. She's not as explosive as many of her teammates, but she rarely makes mistakes. Cherry moves very fluidly and efficiently, and she always seems to be thinking one step ahead of the opponent, no matter her role on the track. Playing the role of Maverick to Cherry's Iceman was Bombtrack. Bombtrack has exceptional speed and explosiveness, especially coming out of cuts. She's more willing to take a chance and occasionally pays for it by ending up out of position. As a blocker, Bombtrack is not as adept at one-on-one blocking as is Cherry, but she does a very nice job controlling pack speed and setting up her pack as a pivot. Imma Tattooher had a few mostly uneventful jams before leaving with an injury, and Polly Rocket and Pistolwhippin Wendy made cameo appearances at the jammer line.

Unfortunately, it was not a good night for many of CRG's blockers. The Violent Lambs packs were very good for the first few minutes and last few minutes of the bout. In between, however they were consistently outplayed. I was disappointed to see it, because the pack play regressed severely from the outstanding effort I saw in Grand Rapids last month. I had expected that another month for the skaters to come together would lead to great things. Certainly, ARRG presents a tougher challenge than Grand Raggidy did, but a number of CRG's skaters looked unprepared for the strategies used and a step slow in getting to blocks. In fact, I saw more blockers whiff on attempted hits in this bout than I can recall seeing in any previous tilt. As mentioned above, Cherry and Bombtrack were solid in the blocking game. Newcomer Sauci, while inconsistent, landed many of the biggest hits of the evening for the Lambs. Sista Shovechild, Pistolwhippin Wendy, and Roxx Solid had decent showings as blockers, but they could not fill enough of the holes to truly solidify the CRG packs.

On the Arch Rival side, I was impressed by the jamming tandem of Beaster Bunny and Rhino-Might. Beaster Bunny was the single best skater on the track for this bout. While she doesn't have blazing speed, she is very quick and nimble. Combined with solid power and good balance, these traits make her a very complete player. Rhino-Might is very big for a jammer, but she definitely has the speed and instincts to handle the role. Both of these jammers had tough going in a very defensive game, but they did enough in the middle portion to build a lead big enough to withstand CRG's late onslaught. On the blocking side, I saw Oregon Betrayal and Boom Boom Pow doing some good work.

SECOND BOUT: CRG Black Sheep (#8 in the NC Region) vs. ARRG All-Stars (#6 NC)

The A-Team bout promised to be a competitive one, as these two teams have played often over the past few years, with each squad tasting some success. Right from the first whistle, however, ARRG took control. For the first nine minutes of the bout, it was "Groundhog Day" for CRG and their fans. ARRG's pack lined up on a knee directly in front of the jammer line. A horrible, boring rugby scrum ensued. A wall of CRG blockers held the Arch Rival jammer at the front, while a wall of ARRG blockers held the CRG jammer at the back. As soon as no pack was called, the ARRG jammer got lead status by virtue of being farther ahead. ARRG sprinted forward immediately to re-establish the pack, leaving CRG's jammer stuck on her initial pass. Lather, rinse, repeat, and it was Arch Rival scoring the first 46 points of the bout over the opening nine minutes. By virtue of their bench being immediately next to the jammer line, ARRG were able to establish position immediately, before the Cincy pack could get there. Those nine minutes absolutely deflated the large opening-night crowd at the Gardens.

By the time Wheezy broke through, took lead status, and posted a 3-0 jam for CRG's first points, 14 minutes had passed. At that point, I'm not sure whether ARRG stopped going for the back line or CRG found a way to counter the strategy. The teams basically switched positions for most of the scrum starts midway through the half. The Black Sheep began chipping away at the lead, bringing the score to 51-17. Then, Candy KICKass did an excellent job frustrating the ARRG jammer into a major back block. Wheezy took advantage of the power jam to the tune of 10 more points. Arch Rival stabilized, then took advantage of a jammer penalty on K Lethal to grab a 13-0 power jam and re-take command. With the game in danger of slipping away, an outstanding CRG pack (Karma Krash, Buckhead Betty, Sk8r-Kinney, and Jungle Lacy) continually recycled the St. Louis jammer, allowing Wheezy to pick up a nice 12-2 jam. The halftime score was 85-52 Arch Rival, but CRG had weathered the rough start and kept the game within striking distance.

Early in the second half, the stalwart front of the CRG pack again forced an ARRG jammer into a trip to the box, this time on a track cut. K Lethal followed that 10-0 power jam with a great, lightning-fast 8-0 a few minutes later, and the deficit was cut to 20 (96-76), with 20 minutes remaining. This was the smallest margin since the early minutes of the game, but unfortunately, it would also prove to be the smallest margin for the rest of the bout. The teams traded blows over the next 10 minutes, with Arch Rival adding slightly to the lead. With the score at 117-88 and the bout once again in danger of becoming a rout, K Lethal was sent to the penalty box with the star again. The 15-0 ARRG power jam put the ladies from the Gateway to the West on the verge of securing the victory. Just minutes later, K took the jammer panty back to the sin bin on a track cut. Despite a phenomenal jammer takeout by Nuk'em, Arch Rival was able to push the score to 150-93. While CRG put together a few good jams in the waning minutes, the game was out of reach. Arch Rival polished off a 158-118 victory.

Looking at the CRG jammers, the best was clearly K Lethal. She showed off some dazzling speed, at times playing on a whole different level from the rest of the skaters. While I did not keep scoring stats, I'd imagine she was CRG's leading scorer. The worst CRG jammer was most certainly...K Lethal. Time after time, she broke her team's momentum by yielding power jams to ARRG. K is so immensely talented. I always wonder if her excessive jammer penalties (consistently more than any other CRG jammer) are a natural and unavoidable consequence of her aggressiveness and explosiveness. If there were some way she could play more under control without losing that fire, K Lethal could be a superstar in the truest sense of the word.

Wheezy rebounded from an uneven performance in Grand Rapids to have a quietly effective day. She seemed to have that higher gear back, but more importantly, she skated with purpose and decisiveness. Hannah Barbaric (nee Ouchocinco, nee Barbaric) had a tough time getting it going with the jammer star. Her opportunities seemed to decrease as the bout went on, but she did make good contributions as a blocker. Candy KICKass and Nuk'em took a few jams each, with decent results, but both made a far bigger impact as blockers.

I don't think I'm allowed to name every single front-of-the-pack CRG blocker my MVP, but I'd like to. Without some outstanding efforts, both one-on-one and as front walls, this bout would have been over by halftime. Sk8r-Kinney was amazing as always, and Karma Krash had her best performance in quite a while. Buckhead Betty continued her run of strong play and big hits. Candy KICKass did a nice job controlling the pack and managed to harass some ARRG jammers into penalties. The great individual efforts were not limited to the front of the pack. Nuk'em used to have my "talented but out of control" label, but she has done some excellent work over the last year or so. Now, she still delivers crushing hits, but you don't see her whiffing on a block and ending up out of the play. She has added smarts to her physical skill, and for that, I'm naming her the MVP of this bout. Jungle Lacy did a wonderful job, proving that she doesn't need a big body to have a big impact on the bout. While it's clear that the Black Sheep miss outstanding blockers Trauma and Sk8 Crime, the strong nucleus that remains bodes well for the future.

On the Arch Rival side, it's tough to miss the dynamic jamming duo of Mighty Mighty Boston and Downtown Dallis. While they both had to slog through some tough CRG packs, all it took was a small opening to make a big-time play. Mighty Mighty Boston is less flashy, but no less effective. I would watch her take the line and think CRG had the advantage, only to look up and see her making every right move. Downtown Dallis looks like a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, but she skates with great speed and otherworldly quickness in and out of her cuts. After watching her at 2011 Regionals, I was sold on her as a top-level talent, and nothing here convinced me otherwise. In terms of blockers, I didn't isolate many specific skaters, but the team did an excellent job executing their scrum strategy. Oregon Betrayal and Mayor Francis Slayer were two I noticed when it came to hard hitting.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS - SATURDAY:

CRG had a large crowd (reported as 3,500), which always makes the experience at the Gardens quite a bit better. The floor seats were 80-90% full, as were the middle sections of the lower part of the stands. I even saw a few people moving up to the upper seats. The fans had their moments, especially near the end of each game, as CRG mounted comeback attempts. Overall, however, it was a pretty tame bunch. I miss the lusty booing when the opponents are introduced or a call goes against the home team. Also, for a crowd that size on a nice day, tailgating was very minimal. The largest and most excited group I saw in the parking lot was a cluster of fans from St. Louis. I hope the Cincy folks can do better than that as the season heats up.

The following entry is from Dictionary.com :

score·board
   [skawr-bawrd, skohr-bohrd]
noun
a large, usually rectangular board in a ballpark, sports arena, or the like, that shows the score of a contest and often other relevant facts and figures, as the count of balls and strikes on a baseball batter.

The Cincinnati Gardens features a beautiful new scoreboard, situated high over the center of the track, with faces in four directions. Faithful readers know that I have complained about the scoreboard situation at CRG bouts before, so I was very excited about this development. Once again, I would be able to sit in my favorite seats and be able to see the score and game clock. Except that I wasn't. The scoreboard was used for ads and announcements, as well as an occasional "lead jammer" graphic. Looking at the above definition, does anyone else see something missing here? I have not seen any other sports team with access to a decent scoreboard that doesn't, you know, POST THE SCORE ON IT. This was maddening. Once again, the fans sitting in turns 3 and 4 had no good way to keep track of the state of the game. It's not like we could hear the PA clearly to fill in the gaps, either. Since it's generally frowned upon for fans to interact with skaters via touch, smell, or taste during the action, the whole thing was literally senseless. I'm not saying CRG shouldn't use the board for announcements and ads. Every team does that. During the action, however, the scoreboard has one overwhelming purpose: providing accurate information about the game.

Between bouts, CRG put on a scrimmage by its new Junior Derby team. I really enjoyed this and was impressed by the skill level of some of the girls. I hope that this becomes an ongoing feature of CRG home bouts. The main drawback was time. I'm not sure who sets up the timetable for the evening's events, but it wasn't horribly realistic. The schedule listed in the bout program showed ten minutes for the 15-minute Junior Derby scrimmage, for example. Barring some immense gravitational pull centered in Cincinnati, I was not betting on it. Of course, I will mention my standing complaint about the 40-minute Lambs bouts. As much as I like the Juniors, I'd rather see the hard-working B-Teamers get the time on the track, if only one can happen. I think it's a disgrace that CRG is the only league I've watched in years that doesn't believe its B-Team is worthy of 60 minutes.

The other thing I'd love to see to free up some time is a limit on the length of official's time-outs. Seriously, if a huddle of zebras can't resolve a question in a minute or two, something is definitely wrong. The interminable gabfests in the center of the track kill the excitement for the fans.

Dramatized Reenactment of Official's Time-Out at CRG Bout (NSFW)



In terms of bout production, my only other complaint was the "YMCA" dance by the guys in facepaint at halftime of the Sheep bout. I know that there has to be a halftime break, for the sake of the game itself, but there has to be a better option than this. I'd say that approximately 10% of the thinning crowd were even remotely into what was happening on the track at that point. How about something involving the fans? Even though I don't really care much for mascot hijinks, the fans last season really got into Wooly Bully's T-Shirt launches. Or even better, CRG could have something down on the track that actually involves a few fans. I'd suggest a race that's a staple of baseball and football games: the shuttle run while getting dressed in sport-appropriate gear. Run here, put on knee pads. Run there, put on elbow pads. Run there, put on helmet, and sprint to the finish. Winner gets a prize.

And finally, a gripe about WFTDA Rules / Derby gameplay. Rugby derby must stop. Not only is it horribly boring and confusing for fans, the set-up of the pack is completely unregulated. So whoever sprints to the track first gets a major advantage in positioning? That is bad enough, but add to it the fact that one team's bench is right next to the jammer line, while the other's is 30 feet away. My preference would be to force packs to start at the pivot line and skate forward. But even if this doesn't happen, there absolutely must be a rule governing how the teams get priority in lining up their packs. CRG's Black Sheep fell behind 46-0 as Arch Rival traversed the 4 feet from bench to jammer line to get the rear position for the scrum, nine jams in a row. Arch Rival had that geographical advantage throughout the bout and won by fewer than those 46 points. Worst case, allow each team the chance to set up first on alternating jams.

A fan's view of "rugby derby" starts and strategy



I truly believe that these things took something away from a night that featured a lot of great action. The 3,500 fans at the peak of the night dwindled to maybe 500 by early in the second half of the main event. I'm sure at least some of those people left because of the boredom that filled the spaces among the great action. Even if 100 out of the 3,000 people left for this reason, that's 100 missed opportunities to create new roller derby fanatics.

Even with these negatives, however, I had a great time. Once the packs got rolling, the skill and athleticism were top-notch. The teams were evenly matched, which makes a huge difference in my enjoyment of the game. The food and staff at the Gardens were, as always, excellent. CRG's postgame autograph / meet-and-greet sessions are the gold standard for any league I've encountered. So, there's a lot of good here.

SATURDAY NIGHT / SUNDAY MORNING:

After chatting with a few of the skaters, we made our way to Molly Malone's for the after-party. There was one open table upon our arrival, so we claimed it. After 15 minutes of sitting there and watching servers deliver food and drinks to the other nearby tables, we gave up and walked over near the bar. We finally flagged someone down and found out that the kitchen was then closed, although why none of the 3-4 servers who were in and out of our section could have stopped by to check on us is a mystery. We wandered over by the semi-private skaters' area and didn't see many people we hadn't already seen at the bout, so we decided to just get some dinner on our way back to the hotel. We stayed at a La Quinta Inn at exit 15 of I-75, a spot I'd definitely recommend due to a combination of nice rooms and very reasonable rates.

I awoke on Sunday very excited, even though I wasn't thrilled about the federally-mandated lost hour of sleep. For the first time ever, I had been invited to attend a bout that was closed to the public. We made our way to the lobby for breakfast and discovered that many of the ARRG skaters were staying at the same hotel. Unfortunately, I really have no idea which skaters we saw, aside from the one or two who wore apparel with their derby names emblazoned thereon. After breakfast, we got our things together and made the short drive back to the Gardens. It was a bit surreal, pulling up to a lot with only a couple dozen cars and walking into an empty corridor. We found seats in the first row at turn 1 and settled in as the C-Teams and men's skaters warmed up.

I had no idea what to expect, as far as the "bout production" and the skill level of the skaters. Even though we had been invited, it had the feel of sneaking into a section where I didn't belong and waiting for an usher to come and kick me out. I thought it was pretty cool that the "hangover bout" skaters still got PA announcers, the same scoreboard set-up as the main bouts, and other little touches to make it seem as much like a real game as possible. They even got a full 60 minutes of derby, unlike another CRG squad I could mention. Some of the CRG skaters from the night before acted as coaches and even NSO's, while others camped out in the seats near us. One even brought her cute little dog. We got to talk with some of the skaters we missed the night before, including Buckhead Betty, Pistolwhippin Wendy, Hot Slice, and Sista Shovechild.

When it came to the game action itself, the level of talent widely outstripped the level of play, as one might expect from teams primarily comprised of rookies. There were moments that could have been confused for a high-level B-Team game, interspersed with some that somewhat resembled roller derby. On the good side, many of the jams began with packs standing just behind the pivot line and skating counterclockwise at the first whistle. I facetiously asked Miss Print and Buckhead Betty if that tactic is legal, as I hadn't seen it in roller derby of late.

Of the rookies for CRG, I was impressed by the talents of Number Cruncher, who showed very good speed and some deft moves as a jammer. NailHer and Sissy Bug (apologies if I mess up any of the names, as they are not in any program) were the two strongest blockers. Each of them laid some very powerful blocks on the ARRG rookies. Aside from one or two good jams, the CRG packs had pretty limited offensive awareness, but I do see some talent there. I would think that at least a few of the players I saw on Sunday will make rosters in the near future. Isolating the stars for ARRG was a bit tougher, as they did not all wear standardized uniforms. I noticed Calamity Cat doing good work, and #81 (no name on jersey) was a talented blocker.

The men's game was next, but we had to leave to get back on the road toward home. As many of you may know, I am not a fan of men's roller derby. I don't have anything against it, and I'm glad the men have the opportunity to play, but I don't really enjoy watching it. Nonetheless, I am trying to keep an open mind, and I would have watched the bout had I not had other commitments and a 3-hour ride home. The trip back to Toledo was uneventful, and I had a bit of time to bask in the glow of a wonderful weekend before it was time to get ready for my return to the number factory.

I have a feeling that this season is going to be quite an adjustment for me as a CRG fan. I think the team has an uphill battle to regain its position of prominence within the region and the sport, but also the capability to do so. It may not be tomorrow, but I am confident that it will be. As in any sport, seasons change, players change, but being a fan is forever.

And yes, I accept any and all of your mockery for using an Expose song this time around.